Texting Guide for Beginners (Insanely Long Posts)

[Maximus Rex]

Texting Guide for Beginners (Ten Insanely Long Posts)

I'm on record as not being a advocate of texting, however, I do feel it's my duty to pass on useful information to those might find certain tools beneficial in their quest to getting laid.

This guide to texting comes courtesy of Thijs over at www.rsdnation.com and unlike some proponents of texting, (shout out to rascal99,) he goes into great detail about number closing, laying a good foundation to have your texts return, how to avoid flakes, and what to say while texting. While I still say that texting shouldn't be used as a substitute to person-to-person interactions, I hope that y'all find this useful.

Texting Guide for Beginners http://www.rsdnation.com/node/539864/forum by Thijs​

Before Texting​

Obviously, I can't write a post about text game without mentioning what comes before the texting. How to get that number? What the hell do I even say? If your vibe is sh*t in real life, your text game has a high chance of falling flat on its ass. Everytime you text a girl, she'll be thinking about how you came across when you talked to her.

For example, if you joked around a lot when you met her and gave off a vibe that says: "I don't take anything seriously. Seriously." then girls will think pretty much everything you say is a joke. Which can be either a good or a bad thing... But mostly a good thing.

What happens way more often, is when guys are very serious in their first interaction before getting the girl's number. Don't be surprised when a girl doesn't understand you're trying to make a joke, in that situation.

This is why making a good impression before you get the number is the most important part of text game. Also, it's easy to make some jokes and create some sort of bond in text when you can bring up things you said in your first conversation. An inside joke kind of thing.

Having no real vibe before starting your text game is like jumping into a swimming pool with all of your clothes on. Sure, you'll be able to swim most of the time, but all of your clothes will be dragging you down, making it harder and unpleasant. I know I'd rather take off my clothes, piece by piece, make a nice jump and dive into the pool. I hope you all have an image of me naked in your head right now.

Now, I'm sure you're dying to know what a good approach should look like in my opinion. You're lucky I'm a mind reader and didn't forget to put all of that into this post.

Walking Up to The Swimming Pool​

You're walking down the street. You're on your way to buy chicken breast and pineapple in the grocery store. Chicken breast cause it's tasty and pineapple cause someone told you it makes your sperm taste better. That's not just me, right?

Anyway, you see a girl passing you on the street. Holy cow udders, only the color of her boobs convince you they're not melons, her legs are longer than a giraffe's and her hair is like a mane of pure sunshine. I can't even come up with a good enough analogy for her ass, but let's assume it was out of this world.

What do you do? You surely can't just go up to her, can you? Yes, you can. Any excuse you're about to make is invalid. You don't get the chance to talk to an angel every day. You're going to take this chance to walk up to her like the bad motherf*cker you are and talk to her.

Don't hesitate. Don't even think about hesitating. The more seconds you waste thinking about what you're planning to do, the less likely it is you're actually going to go up to her and the more rehearsed your approach will seem.

Get Those Legs Moving​

You can't start talking to a girl if you're not right in front of her. Actually stopping to hear what a person has to say is one of the biggest commitments a person can make on the street. That's why making the girl STOP walking is really important. You have to grab her attention. Make her really notice you are there. You can do this by catching her gaze and holding it, waving, etc.

I even like to clap my hands once before I start talking to a girl. It really snaps her focus onto you. This might scare her. Perfect. Now you can already touch her.

"Oh, sorry, did I scare you? Didn't mean to do that." Touch that smooth shoulder.

You go stand right in front of her. It's too easy for a girl to walk away when you're not directly in front of her. People operate on automatic pilot most of the time, and will have the urge to keep walking. That's not cause they don't want to talk to you, but because they are used to it. An easy trick to make people stop walking after getting their attention is simply spreading your arms, as if to say "You shall not pass." (slamming a staff into the pavement is optional).

Now what if she has already passed you before your brain could even process what the hell was going on? Well, what's stopping you from running after her? You won't regret trying to talk to a girl, you'll only regret not talking to a girl.

Taking Off Your Clothes, Piece by Piece​

Great. You've stopped a girl. What the hell are you supposed to do now? You start taking off your clothes.

Joke.

You don't ask anything. You tell her why you're there. I don't want you to start memorizing lines. There is only one golden line that I want you to remember. Are you ready for it? (Is there a way to put a drumroll sound into this post?!)

"Hey. What's your name?" and different variations of the same phrase.

My favorite opening line is this one: "Hey. I saw you and I just had to know your name."

Sounds too easy to be true, right? Let me tell you the oldest secret of mankind. It's been told that scientists deciphered this all from ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs: it really is that easy. You're not pretending to be there for directions and you're not pretending to be there to ask the time. As if you can't use Google Maps on your smartphone to find directions. What a joke.

You're simply telling the girl why you're really there. You think she doesn't know you're about to hit on her when you stop her randomly on the street? A normal person doesn't let a bunch of people pass him on the street before finally talking to a hot girl, if he just wants to know the time.

The Next Piece of Clothing is the Conversation Itself​

In the conversation you'll want to throw in some jokes so she gets an idea of your sense of humor. I personally have a really harsh sense of humor. Because of that, I usually throw in at least one effed up joke in the conversation, to see how she reacts. Also, when I make her comfortable with my sense of humor right then, she won't be surprised when I make the same kind of jokes in my texts.

Example of my f*cked up humor:

"I'll put my retarded 4 year old brother in bath and make him watch me have hardcore anal sex with you."

During your conversation you turn questions into statements.

Example:

You replace "What do you study?" with "You look like a law student kind of girl." and "What are your hobbies?" with "Let me guess. You play piano."

There are a few psychological reasons why we turn questions into statements. For one, you don't come across as the typical guy, who just asks questions when he's not quite sure what to say. It's also way more inviting to reply to a guess like that than to a question. When you didn't guess right, girls will feel the need to correct you:

"Haha, no, I'm not a law student. I study economy. Why did you guess law?"

Or you might even guess correctly:
"Holy f*cking hippopotamus, how did you know that?! Did somebody tell you? Is this a bet? Are you a god? Do you want my number? Do you want to shoot your sperm inside of me? Please?"

Another important thing, not just in game, but also in life in general, is your tonality. Your tonality is the way you use your voice. When people are nervous they use something called uptalk, which means their voice goes up at the end of their phrase, as if they're asking a question.

You'll want to use downtalk, which is the kind of tonality you use when you're talking to your friends. At the end of your phrase the pitch of your voice should drop. It's a sign that you're calm and in control. Every joke will also be way funnier when using downtalk.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Jumping Into the Water

1) B*tch Butterflies

B*tch butterflies is the name we give to the feeling we get that tells us: "You can't approach." Your mind starts making up all kinds of excuses just to not go through a pain period. It's basically trying to protect itself.
The list of excuses guys come up with just to not approach is endless. Here are some of the more common excuses:

-I'm too shy

-I don't know what I'll say

-She'll reject me anyway

-She's out of my league

-She's on the phone

-She's actually not that hot (while she's a stunner)

The list goes on and on, and none of them are valid excuses. Unless your tongue has been ripped off, you can talk to a girl. And if your tongue IS indeed ripped off, you can use basic sign language to get across what you're trying to say. If your tongue is ripped off and you lost your hands in an awful accident, you're pretty much effed.

There is only one way to fix b*tch butterflies, and it is to just do it.

This is more easily said than done, but having a few things fixed in mind should change your perspective on approaching and getting rejected: What do you have to lose? What will happen if she rejects you? What will people think?

The answer to all three of those questions is the same: Nothing.

If you really can't approach, get a friend to motivate you. Make a deal with him where you have to do something if you don't approach, like do pushups or give him some money, or allow him to land a solid punch into your stomach.

Something that really helps is setting goals for yourself. Promise yourself you'll talk to at least ONE girl when you go out, then raise the bar the next time. Reward yourself when you reach your goal. Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends. If they're good friends, they'll support your personal development.


2) She Says She Has a Boyfriend

Ah, the typical "I have a boyfriend" line. The worst nightmare of a lot of beginners. There are three possible reasons she uses this line:

-She has a boyfriend

-She wants you to leave so she uses this line as a form of rejection

-She is operating on automatic pilot and just says she has a boyfriend cause she's not used to being approached like this.

There are two ways you can go when you get this line thrown at you. One is bidding her a good day and leaving. Accept a rejection when you see one. It doesn't have to be awkward at all:

"Well that sucks. I'm going home to cut my wrists, cry, masturbate furiously and use my tears as lubricant. Have a good day!"

"Send him my lovely greetings."

"No worries, see you next time, bye!"

The second option is just saying something witty or acknowledging that she has a boyfriend and not focusing the attention on that particular piece of information:

Girl 1: "I don't think my boyfriend would like that."

Thijs: "Cool. What's your number?"


Girl 2: "Sorry, I have a boyfriend."

Thijs: "I had a hamster but he died"


Girl 3: "I have a boyfriend."

Thijs: OK

There's one thing that a lot of people in the community do that's totally counter-productive. They try to see if the boyfriend line is real or fake. For example, by asking "What's his name?", and if she doesn't respond right away, they call the girl out for lying.

What are you trying to do? Say you uncovered that she doesn't really have a boyfriend. You have accomplished nothing. I have never heard of any girl giving a guy her number cause he figured out her boyfriend line was a rejection. If you have, please send me a mail, I want to know every detail.


3) Not Knowing what to Say

A lot of people that are just starting out read a lot of theory before they do their first approach. Their problem is that most theory is very vague about what exactly you're supposed to be saying after your opener, what you should talk about, so they freak out.

That's because there is no best thing to say, no lines, nothing that will work consistently for sure. The best thing you can do is getting out of your head.

GET…OUT…OF…YOUR…HEAD.

The second you start planning a conversation before talking to a girl, is the second you're setting yourself up to fail. When your mind is completely empty, topics will naturally come, and you'll be able to incorporate jokes, and more importantly, because the jokes will be spontaneous, they'll reflect your sense of humor and your personality in general way better.

What would you prefer? A girl laughing at a joke you studied or a girl laughing at a joke you just came up with? I know I'd like the latter more.

This is the reason the old school 3-Second Rule (which meant you had to approach a girl you saw within 3 seconds of seeing her) works. You don't give yourself time to think, effectively blocking out any excuse you could possibly start to make. Also, because you get thrown into the situation like that, you are not giving yourself the chance to start thinking of things you'll say. You are forcing yourself to come up with new stuff while you're there.

This will not only make you sound way more natural and genuine, it will also develop your core confidence faster, cause you are not relying on lines to do the work for you. If you truly let the fact sink in that when it works, it worked completely because of you, and you only, then your confidence will skyrocket and your mindset will take a big turn to the positive side.


4) Forgetting to Ask For The Number After the Conversation

Tough luck.

Practicalities​

In this chapter I will handle all the practical parts about texting. Funny enough, most questions about texting aren't about the content of the texts, but about how quickly to answer, how often to text, whether smileys should be used or not, the length of texts, etc.
Fear not, mortal, all of your questions will be answered.

When do I Send My First Text?​

A lot of guys wonder when they should send their first text to a girl. Will texting her immediately be considered needy? Should I wait a few days so it looks like I have a busy life?

The answer won't always be the same. I like to send my first text when I know I have some time to start a longer text conversation. Sometimes I'll wait, if I don't feel like having a text conversation, or when I'm doing something more important. Like masturbating... Just kidding. Don't touch your weiner, kids, or you'll turn blind.

Something that works very well is telling the girl in the interaction when she can expect your text. When you do this, you're giving her something to look forward to. Example:

Thijs: Alright, Charlotte, 04...?

Girl: (Gives me the rest of the number)

Thijs: Cool. I'll send you an extremely romantic text this evening.
Make sure you have some clean panties at the ready. Bye!

Girl: Haha bye!

I want you to only remember one rule: Don't wait too long. The longer you wait, the less she'll remember your awesomeness and your beautiful eyes. That's why I often send a text immediately after walking away from the girl, or even while I'm still standing there.

How Quickly Do I Answer?​

This is probably one of the questions about texting that's asked the most often. Back when the pickup community was still doing its first baby steps, there was a rule that dictated you should wait about twice as long to answer a girl, than she took to answer you. This was supposed to signal that you had a more interesting life than her. Bullsh*t.

Nowadays, everyone is using their phone 24/7. We're constantly texting, connecting, snapchatting, facebook and watching pictures of cats online. It would make no sense at all to wait very long. Try having an interesting conversation when there's two hours in between every text. Impossibruh.

Follow-Up Texts?​

You've gotten the number of a cutie, you sent her a text, but she hasn't responded yet. Stop freaking out when a girl hasn't responded after a couple of hours, and don't immediately send another text. A lot of people consider a girl a flake when she hasn't responded in a day.

If she hasn't responded in a few hours, don't panic, she might have been doing something important, like shaving her legs. If she hasn't responded by the end of the day, don't cry in desperation, she might have been busy all day. If she hasn't responded in a few days, don't but both of your hands inside of your we we and wiggle them around in frustration. She might have seen your text while she was doing something else and then forgot to answer later. That's why a follow-up text after a few days isn't such a bad thing. If the girl was interested in you, she'll probably apologize and respond.

However, if a girl doesn't answer the second time I text her, I will not contact her anymore.

One time, I had sent a text to a girl, and only got a response two weeks later! My guess was that she was busy when I sent her a text, forgot to reply, then two weeks later was scrolling through her message history and saw my text again.

Sometimes follow-up texts can be funny, when they're coming from a non-needy frame.

Example (a girl I was texting said she was in a restaurant):

Thijs: Is it tasty?

Thijs: What did you order?

Thijs: Did you get a basket of bread?

Thijs: Oh god, I love bread.

Thijs: With a thick layer of butter.

Thijs: I always eat too much bread.

Thijs: Now I'm hungry.

Thijs: Gonna go eat some bread.

Thijs: Breadbuddies.

 

[Maximus Rex]

How Often should I Text and Re-initiate Text Conversations?

As often as you like.

If a girl hardly ever responds or your conversation is short and boring, you should tone down the amount of times you text her and go for a meetup as soon as you can. I text a girl often if I genuinely enjoy having a conversation with her. Pretty straightforward, right?
If a girl hardly ever responds or your conversation is short and boring, you should tone down the amount of times you text her and go for a meetup as soon as you can. I text a girl often if I genuinely enjoy having a conversation with her. Pretty straightforward, right?

Smileys, Yes or No?​

I am not a fan of smileys. The only smileys I use now and then are a winky face and the normal smile face. The reason is that smileys make your jokes less funny. Think about someone who laughs at his own jokes. Sometimes ruins the joke, right. Smileys have the same effect, in a lesser extent.

Sometimes I do use a wink to turn a normal statement a bit sexual, or to show that a double entendre was intentional.

Grammar and Spelling?​

Always use correct grammar and spelling! The age where we had tiny buttons and had to triple-tap and even quadruple-tap to type some letters has long gone. Pretty much all of us have entire keyboards and autocorrect. There is no reason at all to use slang and abbreviations.

When you use correct grammar, you're going to come across as a smart motherf*cker. Intelligence is an attractive trait. Also, jokes are funnier with correct grammar, spelling and punctuation.

Length of Texts?​

When you look up textgame advice, most sites tell you to keep texts short and to the point. I only do this when I'm talking to exceptionally boring girls. I do this because girls will be more inclined to go on a date with someone they have had good conversations with. If you've had a good text conversation with a girl that wasn't really sure whether she was attracted to you or not when you approached her, there's a way bigger chance she'll end up going on a date with you.

So the length of my texts depends on how interesting the girl is, and on the length of the texts she sends back. The excitement girls feel when they get a text that's almost a goddamn novel is huge. Hell, even I could get an excitement boner when I see a girl has sent me a long text.

General Concepts​

I could rant on and on about textgame and about approaches, and still there would be people complaining they almost get no results at all. This is because they need to work on their inner game, and need a deeper understanding of some concepts. At least waist-deep. When the concepts I'm going to talk about really SINK IN, you're going to get way more consistent results.

There are a truckload of variables that influence an interaction, and many of them are uncontrollable. You can't control the past experiences that a woman has had with men. You can't help that she thinks all men are *******s, or that she has some pent-up anger towards us. You can't control that a girl likes vaginas instead of penises. That's pretty hot, though.
Here are some variables you can control:

1. Do Looks Matter?​

No, they do not. Hold your horses before you start arguing with me that they do, indeed, matter. I am not saying they don't have an influence, cause they do. I'm saying that they don't matter, unless you let them matter. Too confusing? Let me break this sh*t down.

Good looks will not influence your entire game in general, but it will influence the amount of women that will be warm to you from the moment you open your mouth to talk to them.

You can divide women in three general groups after opening them: Warm, Room-temperature and cold.

Warm girls are girls that will immediately hang on every word you say. They have already decided: You're the sh*t. All you have to do is basically not f*ck up when you're talking to them.

Room-temperature girls are girls that don't know what to think about you. They haven't decided if you're the sh*t or just sh*t yet. It'll be your job to make them decide with your amazing game.

Cold girls are girls that don't want to talk to you. The best thing you can do when meeting a cold girl is keeping it short, and leaving. You don't want to invest time into a girl that really doesn't want to talk to you. The chances that you'll be able to make her warm are very small.

The more goodlooking you are, the more girls will be warm to you. Most girls will be room-temperature.

Fear not! Good looks for men aren't almost fully decided by our genes, like they are for women, they're also decided by style, healthiness and grooming. This means that we can control our own looks to a certain extent.

Style​

A lot of us shy away from it. Why though? Is it really that gay to take an interest into how you look? I beg to differ. I am not going to give you a lot of tips about style, cause there are so many differences between and within countries that would cause a lot of tips to lose significance. Also some styles for subcultures don't fall within the normal categories. I advise you go look at some websites about male fashion and write down what you like.

Healthiness​

It's not a secret that a healthy man attracts more women than someone who's unhealthy. If you're overweight, go to a gym. If you have acne, go see a dermatologist. If you tend to have greasy hair, shower and use products. I am not an expert in all three of those things, but there are countless people with the same problems and an equal amount of discussion boards and information sites on the web.

Grooming​

The gentleman's best friend. You can't imagine how much a haircut can do to change the way your face looks. Every hairdresser has those books with pictures of models. If you see a model with a similar bone structure to yours with a haircut you like, ask the hairdresser to model your hair after the model's haircut. Facial hair can do a lot to add age and character to your face. Shave and or trim and please, get rid of that neckbeard. Neckbeards SCREAM "basement dweller".

Makeup. Just kidding.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Neediness

need•y adj. need•i•er, need•i•est

1. Being in need; impoverished. See Synonyms at poor.

2. Wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree.

Neediness is the root of most problems you'll encounter in your pickup journey. It's also one of the biggest turnoffs for a girl. It's a thing that everyone encounters at least once in a while. Even a completely awesome, very handsome, incredibly hilarious person with a massive penis like me still gets needy sometimes. I forgot to mention my beautiful eyes.

It's hard to draw the line where you start becoming too needy. Most pickup theory says that when you are more invested into the bond you have with a girl than she is, you're being needy.

Now, this means we have an issue. Let's call it the neediness paradox. By approaching a girl, we would be considered too needy if we follow our own rule. But if we don't approach, then we will not be getting as many girls. Also, typically, you'll be doing most of the talking during at least the first 5 minutes of conversation, unless you meet an exceptionally extroverted or social girl. So what are we supposed to do? We need to rephrase this so it finally makes sense.

You're needy when: You approach a girl to get validation, to see their reaction to you, to get other guys to be jealous of you.

You're not needy when: You're approaching a girl cause you really want to know what she's like, get to know her, not caring what the reaction will be.

If you don't care what the reaction to your approach will be, and you only want to see what she's like, then rejection won't matter as much. You're doing this for you. Not to get her to like you.

Neediness causes some sh*tty stuff:

Reactiveness. A problem that a lot of guys have is reactiveness. It basically means changing your reactions to fit a girl. Example of reactiveness:

Girl: OH EM GEE I LOVE ONE DIRECTION.

Guy: Yeah, they're good. (When he thinks they're actually sh*t.)

Stick up for yourself! If you have an opinion, don't be afraid to express it. Be non-reactive. Girls absolutely love a guy that isn't afraid to say what he thinks. Reduce the filter you have. Let your personality and humor shine through everything you say. Example of something I'd say:

Girl: OH EM GEE I LOVE ONE DIRECTION.

Thijs: I'd rather headbutt a rusty nail than listen to that crap. I have a feeling this is not going to go anywhere. I'm breaking up with you.

Playing too safe. Neediness causes people to develop a huge filter on their words. They will hold back a lot of urges or things they want to say, just cause they feel it's too risky. Playing too safe is like putting two condoms on at once. It looks safer before you know any better, but in reality, it's way less safe. Low risk is actually high risk.

Not playing safe, or being risky will have way better results! We call this wonderful thing polarizing. The main goal of polarizing is making a room-temperature girl either warm or cold. We do this by not holding back anything. Things you want to say, things you want to do and especially jokes. If you're really using your own humor, there is no quicker way to polarize a girl. You have read it already, my humor is harsh and sometimes downright vulgar. This is going to polarize girls really fast. If they don't like my humor, they'll soon hate me for it. But when they do like it, they'll love me instantly.

I am not saying you should all copy my harsh and vulgar sense of humor. Intellectual humor, for example, will polarize girls pretty easily as well. Girls that value intelligent and concealed wit will love you for it. Be that nerdy and funny f*cker if that's who you are.

There is another problem attached to neediness. Some guys try to become the opposite of needy by telling everyone they don't give an eff, to show how non-needy they are. Think about this for five seconds and see how it comes across. Exactly. Kill that behavior, smother it in its sleep and take a sh*t in its mouth.

Someone who cares more about the opinion he has about himself than he does about the opinion others have of him doesn't have to tell everyone that he does. By trying to go out of your way to show how little f*cks you give, you are showing how many you really do.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Mindset

Your mindset is a really important part of your game. It is what we call inner game. Any thought process or concept that will improve your game once it really sinks in should be adopted into your mindset, while anything that holds you back should be thrown through the window and have its head smashed in on the curb. Please don't kill anybody. This is metaphorical.
Mindsets that will harm your pickup progress:

"She's Out of My League."​

Bullsh*t. Even the thought that leagues exist is bullsh*t. Something that'll help you get rid of this mindset is not using the "points out of ten" scale. Use my scale instead:

0-Wouldn't bang.

0.5-Would bang if drunk and horny

1-Would bang

1.5-Would bang and be pretty proud about

2-Would bang and send pics of her to everyone I know, including my parents

Or even the binary scale (0-Wouldn't bang, 1-Would bang).

"Pickup is Hard"​

Bullsh*t and pickup is pretty damn simple. We all instinctively know what to do. It's getting rid of your problems that's hard. Making your lifestyle better is hard. It's a gradual process that knows no clear ending point.

"I'm Just Not That Kind of Guy."​

Bullsh*t and stop lying to yourself. Every guy has the potential to become any kind of guy they want. The plasticity of the brain is something really remarkable, you can pretty much adapt to any situation, given enough time.

"Women Don't Like Sex as Much as We Do."​

Bullsh*t. Women like sex just as much, if not even more than men do. Your sexuality should be nothing to be ashamed of. If your parents didn't have any sexuality, you wouldn't be here. Oh god, I'm sorry for putting any horrible images into your mind. Of course there are also mindsets that will help and improve you:

"Pickup is a Game."​

This is a great one. When you see pickup as a game, you will care less about rejection and you will get out of your head way more, focus less on theory and more on the moment. Also when you are having fun, your emotional contagion will cause the girl to have more fun as well. Fun is good.

"All women are attracted to me." Even though this can't possibly be true, it gives you an ego boost and a bigger sense of entitlement. When you really assume all women are attracted to you, you'll have more confidence, because you expect her to react well. When you think women aren't really attracted to you, you will open with the expectation of failing. The expectation to fail will make you, indeed, fail. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and expect to succeed.

"Pickup is Simple."​

With this in mind, you'll stop over analyzing. There really is no need to explain every little mistake you make. A lot of failures just aren't in your control. Sometimes girls reject you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. She might have had a boyfriend and is really loyal to him, she might have had a bad day and didn't want to speak to anyone anymore, she might have just broken up with an ex and decided to take a break for a while,... The list is endless.

Initial Opening Text​

You've got her number. F*cking great. Now you have to text her. "F*cking f*ck. F*ck. F*ck. What do I say? Sh*t. F*ck. I can't come up with anything good. God. Sh*t. What if I type...? No, that isn't funny. F*ck. God. Sh*t. Maybe this... No, not interesting enough. Sh*t. F*ck. Sh*tf*ck." Does this situation sound familiar to you? No worries. The initial opening text is a scary part of texting, but we're going to make it one hell of a lot less scary for you.

Your logic reasoning might tell you that when a girl was hooked and the interaction was good, she will reply to any opening text you can come up with. This is true for the most part, but you can get more success if you actually take care to send a good first text.

My reasoning is: Interesting text leads to interesting conversation, interesting conversation leads to interested girl, interested girl leads to date, date leads to sex with a strap-on. Scratch that last part. Or don't. You decide.

When to Send the Opening Text?​

You can send your first message whenever you feel like talking to her, though it is best to send it sooner than later. The longer you wait, the more likely it is she'll forget the vibe you had together. As a general rule, I send an opening message either immediately after getting the number or in the evening on the same day.

I often just send my name and last name after getting a number, so she knows where the next text comes from immediately and you never get that awkward "Who are you?" text back.

When you immediately send her a text after getting the number, she'll have your number too and it happens that a girl will send you a sort of opening text before you have to send her one first. Examples:

Thijs: Now you have my number. -The Professor (Long story, but my nickname was the Professor for a while)

Girl: Nice to meet you Why do they call you the professor? And are you going out this week or next week?

Thijs: Thijs.

Girl: Where are we going on our honeymoon, Thijs WITH H? (You can also spell Thijs without an H, which we talked about. I also told her I'd be marrying her)

What to Send in Your Opening Text?​

Your opening text should be inviting to answer. If you have a good opening text, you will have a better idea of where the conversation can go. You'll want to come across as a unique person, not an ordinary guy, so your first text should not be something that she could get any day from any guy. Boring, commonly used texts are a big no-no for the initial opening text. It's a different case for reopening later.

Examples of sh*tty, way too common texts:

-"Hey."

-"Hey how are you?"

-"What's up?"

-"Hi beautiful x"

Would you be inclined to answer a person who texts like that? I know I wouldn't be.

Something that works really well is bringing up something you talked about in your interaction with her. It brings back the feeling she had with you and creates a sort of inside-joke feeling, which is a good way to bond immediately. Girls love the feeling of knowing a secret. An inside-joke is a sort of secret you share.

Here's a few examples of good texts and the reactions to them (all names used in this post are fake):

Thijs: Hey, Jessica. I'm the second boy of today. Your ego must have been massive after getting approached by two guys in one day. Let me guess, you used a parked car window as an improvised mirror to check what you looked like.

Jessica: OMG, how do you know me so well already?!

Thijs: I study psychology. Before you know it I'm inside of your mind. My god, you have a dirty mind.

Thijs: Hahaha! Psychology is interesting, I almost chose to study psychology, but then I changed my mind. How long have you been doing it?


(This girl had already been approached once that day, which we talked about in the interaction. Making a joke referring to the interaction you had is never a bad idea, combined with an invitation to answer, "Let me guess,...?")

Thijs: The Professor invites you for his class Penetration Communication. (I told her I was the Professor, this was from the same period as before, and that my class was called "Penetration Communication")

Laura: I'm very curious. The Professor is quite direct, it seems.
Me: The Professor is a bit ill and needs to be examined. (She studied to become a nurse)


(In the interaction, I had told her I was the Professor, and that my class was called "Penetration Communication".)

Thijs: Stephanie, I have bestowed upon you the honor of being in possession of my number.-Thijs

Stephanie: Yesss my day is perfect now.


(This is an example of a text I send 1 minute after meeting a girl, so they have my number, and an immediate response to it. It wasn't meant to be a conversation starter.)

Thijs: Now you also have my name and number to do with as you please (apart from giving it to fat girls, that would be very mean of you). -Thijs

Caroline: Haha hey Thijs! My name is Caroline Why did you want my number if I am allowed to ask?

Thijs: I know your name is Caroline, I asked! I thought you were attractive and just HAD to get your number.

Caroline: That's flattering! I like that you have balls...


Thijs: I remembered your number very well, Tes. I want to know your name, Tes.

Kate: It's Kate. Well done!

Thijs: Nice to meet you, Kate. My name is Thijs and if you still need money, you can always come to me, cause I'm the Prince of Nigeria, I'm super rich and I have dolphins swimming in my pool. (Whole bunch of inside jokes)

I didn't have my phone with me, so she made me remember her number, and she looked like a girl I know called Tes, so I kept calling her Tes.

Thijs:I'll text you tomorrow. -Thijs (Sent this while I was partying and got a number)

Sarah: Hope u do.

Thijs: Told you I would. Ohh iMessage. Free texting and sh*t. Perfect for a poor guy like me. (The next day)

Sarah: Poor guy? Yeah right, you look like a richboy to me.

Thijs: I'd never lie to you, Sarah :x xoxo (over the top amount of smileys can make something look ridiculous)

Sarah: I didn't know such boys existed. Marry me

 

[Maximus Rex]

Dealing with Flakes

Flake: A girl not returning your texts or refusing to meet up with you.

You thought she was interested, yet still she didn't answer your text. What a nightmare. A lot of people get very frustrated when a girl flakes. Before you can come to terms with a flaking girl, you'll have to understand the main reasons why girls flake.

Why Do Girls Flake?​

There are several reasons why girls flake. Some of them might be a surprise to you!

1. She Wasn't as Interested as You Thought She Was.

This happens to everyone once or a few times in a while. This is probably the most common reason girls flake, but it's not the only reason. For your own improvement, I advise you to always think a flake happened because one of the following reasons.

-Solution: When you approach more girls and get more experience in general, you'll start becoming better at noticing when a girl just gave you her number to get rid of you, and when she was genuinely interested in you. Still, you should text all numbers you get. You never know whether you misinterpreted the signs you thought you got. Secondly, it's good practice!

2. Her Vibe Now is Completely Different From When You Met Her

Humans are emotional beings. Female humans doubly so. A girl might have been in an exceptionally good mood when you met her, which is why your conversation went smoothly and you got her number. Now, about an hour later, her mood has changed because something happened (Let's say she saw shoes that were too expensive for her). She is in a sh*tty mood and doesn't want to talk to anybody. Flake.

-Solution: When a girl doesn't answer your text cause her mood is totally different, there is pretty much nothing you can do about it, apart from trying to text her again some time later.

3. She is too Nervous

Yes, this happens. Ever got a girl's number and never could find enough courage to text her? It happened plenty of times to me. Some girls, when they really like someone, get really nervous. You know the feeling when you like someone so much, that you're determined not to mess up, and start playing too safe? Girls do this too, sometimes resulting in flakes. This is my favorite explanation for flakes, cause it keeps me in a good mood.

-Solution: Nervous girls are not easy to flip around into being comfortable texting you. They might have been a bit intimidated by your confidence in real life. If I notice a girl is really nervous talking to me, I try to make my texts a bit friendlier.

4. She Simply Forgot to Reply:

She might have been in the middle of something when you texted her, saw your text, put her phone back into her pocket or purse and then forgot about it.

-Solution: Only one way to solve this, don't get too desperate, too quickly. Send another text later.

She Didn't Text You Back
​

Whatever the reason is, you didn't get a text back. The first you have to do is, don't panic. First attribute her flake to something other than her not being interested in you. Wait a day or two. If she still hasn't texted back, send another text. If she indeed didn't text back because of any of the reasons I listed, she'll probably apologize. If she doesn't, don't call her out on not replying, there's no point.

If she still doesn't reply, quit trying. Two texts without response should be your maximum, though I do admit I sometimes try a third time if I really thought the vibe was great in real life.

She Flaked for a Date
​

The biggest reasons girls flake for a date are:

1. She Really Has No Time

-Solution: Propose to change the date. Ask her what her schedule looks like.

2. She is too Nervous

For the same reason girls are too nervous to text you back, there will be girls that are too nervous to go on a date. Usually they will convince themselves they really have no time to hide their own nervousness.

-Solution: Accept they have no time and build a little bit more comfort over text if you feel this is the reason they flake. Later, try to arrange another date.

3. She Doesn't Want to go on a Date With You

Some girls are just out for attention. They love their cell phones blowing up with texts, so they keep talking to you, but typically their responses will be short and quite boring. Just enough to keep you texting them. When you finally go for the date, they'll flake.

-Solution: Bye bye, honey.

When a girl flakes on me, I will give her a second chance to go on a date with me. If she flakes again, I assume it's because she's not interested and stop texting her. If I genuinely think she has good excuses, I will tell her that I do not appreciate her flaking and try again later.

Sometimes you can just feel a girl is too nervous to meet you. Then I keep on talking to her for a while without trying to plan a date, so I don't put too much pressure on her, and then propose a date again later.

Flirting and Keeping it Interesting​

Great, you've sent her your first text. AND SHE ANSWERED! Have a celebration dance, then get back here. Now how do we continue? How do we keep this conversation from turning to sh*t? This is probably one of the hardest parts about texting, cause you can't use your gimmicky opener again, which is why a lot of people advice immediately going for a date, so you can skip this stage.

Immediately trying to get a date is very quick and very efficient with girls that are already really interested in you. If you try to do it with girls that aren't that interested yet, you will get a lot of flakes or won't even get a response from them. That's why you sometimes need to make the conversation longer and keep it fun.

One of the best tools, if not the very best, for keeping up the vibe and preventing the conversation from getting boring is flirting through text.

Flirting​

Flirting is basically everything and anything that will make a girl more interested in you sexually. Teases are the best form of flirting. When you tease a girl, you're mocking her midly. She can have two responses to that. She'll either show how much she wants you, or tease you right back. Sometimes you'll even start some sort of massive teasing battle with a girl. Nothing gets me more erect.

You could also throw in little sexual jokes and comments. Anything that puts an image of her with you together is a good idea. The us-mentality is a perfect example for that. Let me explain.


Us-Mentality

The us-mentality is one of the atom bombs to make a girl more attracted to you. And what's better: It's incredibly easy to use. The only thing you have to do is plant a scenario into a girl's head, like a flower. Am I really going to use a flower to describe some pickup stuff? Well, we already got a swimming pool before. Let's get creative:

The seed is the idea. You make the girl fantasize about something that you and her will do together. This can be entirely fictional and could be about pretty much anything.

For example:

The girl loves travelling, so you talk about how you and her will do a trip around the world, and you start fantasizing about which countries you're going to see. This gives you a truckload of opportunities to make jokes or display your knowledge about the world.

Another example:

The girl says she does horseback riding. Talk about how you want her to give you horsback riding classes so you can act as a knight in a movie and become famous. Tell her she shouldn't worry, cause you'll get her some VIP tickets for events and celebrity parties. You get the image.

Let the Flower Flourish

With the soil being the girl's mind, you have found the ideal ground to plant your seed. Nobody is going to create an image more perfect for the girl than the girl's mind itself. When a girl will imagine the things you say to her, she will let her imagination work and make the situation perfect in her head. Her imagination is your biggest ally.

Plucking the Flower

Harvest those emotions. There is no better moment to start sexualizing a conversation than after a successful us-mentality chat.

Inside Jokes

In my textgame, I'll use a lot of inside jokes. Anything that got brought up in the conversation I had with her in real life can be turned into a joke. When you start having inside jokes with a girl, she'll feel like you have a real bond with you, cause you share a secret, and we all know, b*tches luuuv secrets.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Text Examples

Here are some examples of how I followed up, opener included (some are from the previous chapter):

Thijs: Thijs (*censored last name*)

Girl: Where are we going on our honeymoon, Thijs WITH H?

Girl: If you ignore me we'll have to get a divorce...If you remember who I am at least don't text me back now for a while, I'll text you again tomorrow...

Thijs: I need to know your last name, I'm going to facebook stalk you.

Girl: If I ever told you my last name you wouldn't succeed in facebook stalking me.

Thijs: You underestimate my powers.

Girl: I don't have facebook anymore, too mainstream.

Thijs: Oh you hipster chick. Do you also listen to hipster music?

Girl: Define hipster music.

Thijs: Underground stuff with only 10,000 views on You Tube.

Girl: Kind of, yeah, wanna go for a drink tonight?

Thijs: I can't tonight, what about Monday?

Girl: I'll see if I can go on Monday, cause I leave for France on Wednesday.

Thijs: My trip to Canada wins by far.

Girl: Okay fact...Thanks for sharing that, now I'm depressed.

Thijs: Shhh no tears, only dreams now. Everything will be okay, you'll go on another great trip when we go to Bali on our honeymoon.

Girl: Bali is chill. "Shh no tears, only dreams now" sounds a little creepy haha

Thijs: Bali is a small paradise. Lots of ugly people that want to take a pic with you cause you're white, though (Not kidding).

Girl: Have you been there? Awesome!

Thijs: Yeah, but with family=visiting temples 24/7

Girl: Temples are cool, ok? I wanna go to Peru and that shizzle. There are temples named after me there, hell yeah.

Thijs: In Turkmenistan there are temples named after me, but not a lot of people know this.

Girl: Doesn't matter. Actually I'm half-Dutch, but not a lot of people know this. Thijstemples, doesn't sound like Turkmenian.

Here are some examples of how I followed up, opener included (some are from the previous chapter):

Thijs: Thijs (*censored last name*)

Girl: Where are we going on our honeymoon, Thijs WITH H?

Girl: If you ignore me we'll have to get a divorce...If you remember who I am at least don't text me back now for a while, I'll text you again tomorrow...

Thijs: I need to know your last name, I'm going to facebook stalk you.

Girl: If I ever told you my last name you wouldn't succeed in facebook stalking me.

Thijs: You underestimate my powers.

Girl: I don't have facebook anymore, too mainstream.

Thijs: Oh you hipster chick. Do you also listen to hipster music?

Girl: Define hipster music.

Thijs: Underground stuff with only 10,000 views on You Tube.

Girl: Kind of, yeah, wanna go for a drink tonight?

Thijs: I can't tonight, what about Monday?

Girl: I'll see if I can go on Monday, cause I leave for France on Wednesday.

Thijs: My trip to Canada wins by far.

Girl: Okay fact...Thanks for sharing that, now I'm depressed.

Thijs: Shhh no tears, only dreams now. Everything will be okay, you'll go on another great trip when we go to Bali on our honeymoon.

Girl: Bali is chill. "Shh no tears, only dreams now" sounds a little creepy haha

Thijs: Bali is a small paradise. Lots of ugly people that want to take a pic with you cause you're white, though (Not kidding).

Girl: Have you been there? Awesome!

Thijs: Yeah, but with family=visiting temples 24/7

Girl: Temples are cool, ok? I wanna go to Peru and that shizzle. There are temples named after me there, hell yeah.

Thijs: In Turkmenistan there are temples named after me, but not a lot of people know this.

Girl: Doesn't matter. Actually I'm half-Dutch, but not a lot of people know this. Thijstemples, doesn't sound like Turkmenian.[/b]


This conversation amused me, so it got very long. Let's take a look at WHY this is a good conversation:

"I need to know your last name, I'm going to facebook stalk the f*ck out of you."

If I was just asking her last name, it could come across in a very creepy way, so I exaggerated, which made it look funny instead.

"Oh you hipster chick. Do you also listen to hipster music?"

This is a little tease, and turns the conversation to music. Music is always an easy topic, everyone loves it. We didn't actually end up talking about music here, though.

"I can't tonight, what about Monday?"

I couldn't meet her on the day she suggested, so I proposed a date myself. Something I also could have done was asking what her schedule for the other days looked like, and then pick a day, cause then you know for sure which days she's free.

"My trip to Canada wins by far."

With this I'm teasing her again. Having some sort of competition between two people creates a bond, and gives you something to talk about. You can even add in a point system, which is something I often do. For example, a girl tells you she's good at cooking: "+10 points for cooking skills. You get another 20 points if you actually cook for me. Score so far: 10 for you, 130 for me."

"Shhh no tears, only dreams now. Everything will be okay, you'll go on another great trip when we go to Bali on our honeymoon."

Here I start using some us-mentality. I didn't push the us-mentality further in the conversation because she gave me a pretty worthless reply. If I had gotten a better response, I'd have gone into detail about our trip, what we would do. Example:

"I doubt you'll see a lot of the country except for the inside of the bedroom in our suite."

"Yeah, but with family = visiting temples 24/7"

This was actually not that great of a text. It was just a fact and not inviting to answer, unless she could relate to it. But of course, because she was pretty invested, she texted back.

As you can see, this conversation is random and jumps from topic to topic, which is the definition of a good light conversation. It's not about anything in particular and it allows you to make a lot of jokes. A downside to this kind of conversation is that you don't build any comfort and you don't get to know each other. It keeps the image of you as a funny, interesting guy in her head, and that's why it's a good idea to have a light conversation like this before you start building comfort.

Thijs: I'll text you tomorrow.-Thijs

Girl: Hope u do.

Thijs: Told you I would. Ohh iMessage. Free texting and sh*t. Perfect for a poor guy like me.

Girl: Poor guy? Yeah right, you look like a richboy to me.

Thijs: I'd never lie to you, Sarah

Girl: I didn't know such boys existed. Merry me

Thijs: My god, I'll need to educate you. Your English is SH*T. Marry*.

Girl: Haha yes please but i'm still drunk

Thijs: You're such a bad girl. You're lucky I think that's attractive.

Girl: I'm not so bad once in a week

Thijs: Only once? I take my words back, all my attraction is gone.

Girl: I wasn't supposed to go out yesterday, i need to study but again, so hard to resist...Are u a bad boy then?

Thijs: I'm the baddest boy alive. I eat soup with a fork and walk on the grass when there's a "Do not walk on grass" sign. This world can't handle all of my badassness.

Girl: Are u...I like bad boys..

Thijs: You must be really attracted to me then.

Girl: You can say that you're a bad boy but I need proof

Thijs: Let me just devise a perfect plan to prove I'm a bad boy.

Thijs: I will kiss you upon meeting you tonight. No words, no warning whatsoever.

Girl: Maybe I'll kiss you back... Or i play hard to get. What do you think?

Thijs: I think you'll resist at first to make me go crazy but you'll give in and kiss me back after that.

Girl: Hmmm seems reasonable to me.

Girl: But who said we would meet?

Thijs: Haha YOU did. You commanded me to text you today and said you'd come meet me after 9PM.

Girl: Glad you listen so well

Girl: Where do you stay in *city* (And more bullsh*t about the city.)

 

[Maximus Rex]

Why This Was a Good Conversation

This conversation amused me, so it got very long. Let's take a look at WHY this is a good conversation:

"I need to know your last name, I'm going to facebook stalk the f*ck out of you."

If I was just asking her last name, it could come across in a very creepy way, so I exaggerated, which made it look funny instead.

"Oh you hipster chick. Do you also listen to hipster music?"

This is a little tease, and turns the conversation to music. Music is always an easy topic, everyone loves it. We didn't actually end up talking about music here, though.

"I can't tonight, what about Monday?"

I couldn't meet her on the day she suggested, so I proposed a date myself. Something I also could have done was asking what her schedule for the other days looked like, and then pick a day, cause then you know for sure which days she's free.

"My trip to Canada wins by far."

With this I'm teasing her again. Having some sort of competition between two people creates a bond, and gives you something to talk about. You can even add in a point system, which is something I often do. For example, a girl tells you she's good at cooking: "+10 points for cooking skills. You get another 20 points if you actually cook for me. Score so far: 10 for you, 130 for me."

"Shhh no tears, only dreams now. Everything will be okay, you'll go on another great trip when we go to Bali on our honeymoon."

Here I start using some us-mentality. I didn't push the us-mentality further in the conversation because she gave me a pretty worthless reply. If I had gotten a better response, I'd have gone into detail about our trip, what we would do. Example:

"I doubt you'll see a lot of the country except for the inside of the bedroom in our suite."

"Yeah, but with family = visiting temples 24/7"

This was actually not that great of a text. It was just a fact and not inviting to answer, unless she could relate to it. But of course, because she was pretty invested, she texted back.

As you can see, this conversation is random and jumps from topic to topic, which is the definition of a good light conversation. It's not about anything in particular and it allows you to make a lot of jokes. A downside to this kind of conversation is that you don't build any comfort and you don't get to know each other. It keeps the image of you as a funny, interesting guy in her head, and that's why it's a good idea to have a light conversation like this before you start building comfort.

Thijs: I'll text you tomorrow.-Thijs

Girl: Hope u do.

Thijs: Told you I would. Ohh iMessage. Free texting and sh*t. Perfect for a poor guy like me.

Girl: Poor guy? Yeah right, you look like a richboy to me.

Thijs: I'd never lie to you, Sarah

Girl: I didn't know such boys existed. Merry me

Thijs: My god, I'll need to educate you. Your English is SH*T. Marry*.

Girl: Haha yes please but i'm still drunk

Thijs: You're such a bad girl. You're lucky I think that's attractive.

Girl: I'm not so bad once in a week

Thijs: Only once? I take my words back, all my attraction is gone.

Girl: I wasn't supposed to go out yesterday, i need to study but again, so hard to resist... Are u a bad boy then?

Thijs: I'm the baddest boy alive. I eat soup with a fork and walk on the grass when there's a "Do not walk on grass" sign. This world can't handle all of my badassness.

Girl: Are u... I like bad boys..

Thijs: You must be really attracted to me then.

Girl: You can say that you're a bad boy but I need proof

Thijs: Let me just devise a perfect plan to prove I'm a bad boy.

Thijs: I will kiss you upon meeting you tonight. No words, no warning whatsoever.

Girl: Maybe I'll kiss you back... Or i play hard to get. What do you think?

Thijs: I think you'll resist at first to make me go crazy but you'll give in and kiss me back after that.

Girl: Hmmm seems reasonable to me.

Girl: But who said we would meet?

Thijs: Haha YOU did. You commanded me to text you today and said you'd come meet me after 9PM.

Girl: Glad you listen so well

Girl: Where do you stay in *city* (And more bullsh*t about the city.)


Let's take a look at why this is a good conversation:

"I'll text you tomorrow. -Thijs"

I tell her when she can expect my text. If you have a solid interaction, a good vibe and send the girl something like this, she'll look forward to the text and be extra receptive when you send the text. This one even said she hoped I would, which further solidifies the expectation.

"Told you I would. Ohh iMessage. Free texting and sh*t. Perfect for a poor guy like me."

We had been joking about how poor I was the night before I sent that text, cause I had run out of money for drinks. When you use inside jokes, it creates that secret feeling that girls love.

"I'd never lie to you, Sarah :x xoxo "

I rarely use smileys, but sometimes I use an over the top amount of them to show how sarcastic I am.

"My god, I'll need to educate you. Your English is SH*T. Marry*."

Here I'm teasing her hard. Most girls respond well to this kind of teasing, especially if she's somewhat familiar with your humor.

"You're such a bad girl. You're lucky I think that's attractive."

Here I tell her I think she's attractive, being quite direct. She knows my intentions pretty well, and now that I've been direct in my texts, I can continue to do so once she responds well to it.

"Only once? I take my words back, all my attraction is gone."
Tease, tease, tease.

"I'm the baddest boy alive. I eat soup with a fork and walk on the grass when there's a "Do not walk on grass" sign. This world can't handle all of my badassness." Girls love jokes. Surprise.

"I will kiss you upon meeting you tonight. No words, no warning whatsoever."

This is something I love to do. I escalate in text before I meet them and tell them I'll kiss them immediately, so the vibe and tone of the meetup is already set and I don't have to "find the moment" to kiss her during the meetup. I actually escalated this conversation way further and sexted with her.

Arranging the date​

The final showdown, putting your cards on the table and seeing results for the effort you’ve put in. The moment of truth...the date.

I'm going to share a secret with you guys: Before you go on a date, you have to arrange it. Luckily, how you can arrange a date isn't a secret. It isn't even hard. The hardest part is making her interested enough before you suggest it.

What Should a Good Text to Arrange a Date Look Like?​

A good text to arrange a date should contain a few things:

-What you're planning to do

-The day you're planning to do it on

-The time

I know a few questions might be bubbling up into your mind right now. Let's start answering them!

What Would be a Good Thing to do on a Date?​

Pretty much anything is good. You should avoid two things, movie dates and dinner dates. The reason to avoid movie dates is cause you cannot talk as much during a movie, and you sit too far apart to have any contact. Of course, this doesn't count if she's coming to watch a movie at your place. You should avoid dinner dates because a lot of girls are uncomfortable eating in front of a guy, and you all know the feeling of wanting to say something with food in your mouth. "Mmh, mmh, so, mmh, excuse me, mmh, what are your hobbies?"

It's said that active dates are the best, cause they give you something to talk about, and you've shared an experience with the girl. These are usually fun and you warm up to each other a little without risking awkward conversation at first. What I like to do the most is invite girls over to my place for something. I have a few reasons for this:

1) I don't need to move my lazy ass.

2) She's already at my place, so I don't need to convince her to come to my place after the date if I plan to do naughty things.

3) You get to talk as much as you want and really get to know each other.

What I found most effective when inviting a girl over to my place is bringing something up from a past conversation to do. If a girl had told me in text that she loves Disney movies (I do too), I'll invite her over to watch the Lion King, for example.

What to do if She Can't Make it on the Date or Time You Suggested?​

There are two possible reasons for this:

1) She really can't make it.

2) She's not interested in meeting you, but being polite about it.

You can do one of two things. Either you can immediately propose a new time and date, or you can ask her what her schedule looks like for the following week (or the week after, it's up to you), and then pick one of the days that work for you.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Connecting

If you've mastered the things I spoke about in previous posts, you should be able to get girls laughing and get them interested in you (if they weren't already). But sometimes, some of these girls will still flake! Now, why would a girl that is interested in you flake? Mostly it's because they feel like they don't know you well enough yet, and they are hesitant to have a date with someone they don't really know. You have to build a solid connection with those girls to pull them over the line.

Don't get me wrong, you don't have to try and build a solid connection (something I call Connecting) every time you use textgame. I only rarely do this. Usually I go for the date after some light and flirty conversation, without building a real bond. You only need this step if the girl tells you she has to know you better before she'll meet up with you. I also do this when I can't meet up with her anytime soon, to keep her interested until I can find some time for her.

The conversation I use to connect is going to look lot like a conversation I'd have on a date. My texts will usually end up being way longer than during the flirty, light conversation. Now how can we connect in the simplest way?

Sharing Stories​

I share stories all the time. It's my favorite connecting "method". I share a story and invite them to tell one of their own. You can easily tie pretty much any conversation topic to a story that once happened to you. If all goes well, you end up sharing a string of stories, and float from subject to subject effortlessly.

The easiest topics are the ones everyone can relate too. Examples:

-Childhood stories

-Alcohol stories

-Embarrassing moment stories

-"That kind of guy" stories

Out of these, I like alcohol stories the best, cause you invariably find an opportunity to talk about sex. Alcohol and sex. Great combination.

An example of each:

Childhood Story​

Thijs: Pokémon is on tv. I remember when I used to go out looking for pokémon in my garden when I was younger. I always ended up getting so disappointed that I couldn't find any. Or that I couldn't turn super saiyan like in Dragonball Z haha

Girl: Hahaha I always wanted to be a princess or a spy like in Totally Spies.

Thijs: Are you secretly a spy? Did the Russian government send you?! I always thought my dad was some sort of secret agent cause he was always so vague about what he did in his job and always wears suits.

Girl: yes, I'm a spy. I've been watching you while you sleep. Lol my dad is just a teacher. I was so embarrassed cause he was a teacher in my elementary school. Everytime he walked past, he would greet me, and I would ignore him haha

Thijs: He probably cried when you did that. You are such a bad person. I used to tell everyone in my class that my dad was a police officer so they wouldn't mess with me or they'd get thrown in jail. Or the ultimate threat: "If you keep doing that, you can't come to my birthday party!".

Girl: HAHAHAHA I DID THAT TOO! Did you also trick people into sharing bits of their cookies and telling them you'd give them a present if they did, and then run away when they shared?

Thijs: I'm not a criminal. That's just theft. You con artist. My dad is a police officer and he'll throw you in jail for that. Don't steal from me or you can't come to my birthday party.


In this example I was re-initiating a conversation just by saying what's on TV. By tying a story to Pokémon, my text got way more interesting and very inviting to answer. There's no pressure on her to come up with a response. She won't have to think about her text for ten minutes, cause everyone can relate to childhood stories. You see how we float from one childhood topic to another, while I tease her or joke about her stories.

At the end I could easily have gotten into some kind of us-mentality using role-play, that would involve the both of us as thieves. See how easy it is to keep things interesting?

Alcohol Story (So many topics can easily be tied to alcohol,)​

Thijs: Yup, we all have those "I AM NEVER DRINKING AGAIN" moments, and we end up drinking again two days later. When I'm drunk I always think I'm extremely interesting and that everyone thinks I'm attractive.

Girl: Haha I get upset really easily. Like when a glass breaks I would care less, but when someone's mad at me when I'm drunk, I get so emotional.

Thijs: And then you cry and cut your wrists, right? That's what everyone does, right? Not just me, right? Right?!

Girl: Of course! I wouldn't want to be excluded from the cool kid group. (you don't really do that do you?)

Thijs: I love my body too much to harm it. Same reason I'll never pull a knife on you. Aren't I sweet? I remember when my sister was younger and we teased her at the dinner table, she'd stick out her knife at me to threaten me.

Girl: Hahahahaha I was always just the quiet, crying one, when I got teased. It must have sucked to have you as a brother

In this one I even changed from the alcohol topic to the childhood topic. Flowing from topic to topic is a sign of a good and easy conversation. The conversation is about nothing serious. Most girls love to be able to text a guy and not have to think long about a good answer. Again, I could easily get into a us-mentality roleplay where I'd tell her what it would be like to have me as a brother. I could have later said something like:

Thijs: "I really wouldn't want to be your brother. Seriously. Like, for real."

Girl: "Why not?"

Me: "If I were your brother, I wouldn't be able to have sweet hot steamy passionate sex with you. My life loses all of its meaning."

Embarrassing Moment Stories​

Thijs: I just arrived late in class. Don't you hate it when you're late and everyone's staring at you, and you suddenly become EXTREMELY conscious of the way you're walking? You suddenly can't find a good position for your arms and such?

Girl: Hahahaha yes! And I'm ALLLLWAYS late. Or when you see someone you know on the street who you don't really wanna talk to, but you say "hi" to be polite, make some small talk, and when you leave you go the same way. aaaaaawkwaaaaaard.

Thijs: I had the worst embarrassing moment ever, I doubt you can top this. Ready?

Girl: I think I'll win, but yes I'm ready. Tell me.

Thijs: Last summer I was home alone, so I thought wearing clothes was unnecessary. I wake up in the morning and decide to have naked breakfast. Now, in the morning, I usually have a massive erection. I go downstairs and stand eye in eye with one of the gardeners just outside. I just turned around and went back upstairs.

Girl:Hoooly sh*t, you win. I have had a lot of small embarrassing moments, like tripping and falling on my ass in front of people, but nothing like that.

I like "embarrassing moment stories" because of the feeling it gives a girl. A lot of people think they're the only one to feel a certain way in embarrassing situations, so when they find out you feel the same way, it's like you have something profoundly personal in common. Get that connection going, player.

"That Kind of Guy" Stories​

Thijs: I'm in a train, and there are some pseudo-intellectuals annoying me. You know the kind.

Girl: Haha not quite sure what you mean?

Thijs: The kind of guys that aren't that smart, but try to act like they are, by only talking about serious sh*t, and having an opinion about EVERYTHING, without it being based upon anything. They "read" it somewhere, but usually are just making it up on the spot.

Girl: Oh god yes, I know the kind. And they always think they're better than you. I also hate old people on the train. They smell.

Thijs: And 14 year old girls, blasting their sh*tty music with their cell phones. If I hear one more story like this: "OMG do you know this guy, he kissed that girl OMG" I will kill myself.

There are some types of people that everyone hates. The loud obnoxious guy. The smelly guy that invariably sits next to you. The guy that always interrupts everyone. The list goes on and on. I often rant about some type of person, which gives the girl an "I KNOW, RIGHT" feeling.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Asking Questions

Asking interview questions in all the previous stages was a big no-go. When you're trying to connect with someone, you'll end up asking questions at some point. It's inevitable.

You use the new questions as fuel to keep the conversation going. Asking a girl about her hobbies immediately gives you something to talk about. Asking a girl about her music tastes will provide an opportunity to talk about music. It's really straightforward.

If I'm talking to a girl later at night, I sometimes propose a question game. Basically a sort of truth or dare without the dare... I guess you could call it Truth or truth. Girls love games. Transitioning from normal conversation to a more sexual vibe can be pretty hard. This is the easy way out. The questions usually start off innocent and 110% of the times end up sexual.

Example:

Thijs: Do you know what time it is?

Girl: tell me

Thijs: It isssss... Imagine drumrolls... Question game time!

Girl: Haha okay you start.

Thijs: Okay. Hm. What is the country you'd love to go to the MOST?

Girl: Easy. Japan. Hmmmmmmmm on a scale from 1 to 10, how much would you rate me?

Thijs: 8/10. Not 10 cause of the pointy elbows. Kill, marry, f*ck: Justin Bieber, Francisco Lachowski, me.

Girl: Kill: Justin Bieber, f*ck: Francisco Lachowski, marry: you. What would you choose?

Thijs: Hey now, you can't ask the same question. (But for your information: Marry: me, f*ck: me, kill: me -just to keep things interesting-).

Seriousness​

If you've just started talking to a girl, or you're still flirting with her, you always have to keep the conversation from turning serious. Now, when you're trying to connect, getting serious is not always a bad thing. Discussing opinions about life, plans for the future, telling secrets, this is the part of the conversation where you get the opportunity to talk about them. It'll make her feel like you are starting to really trust her and opening up to her (which might very well be true).

Try not to get stuck in a serious tone for too long. Mix it up. Switch between periods of light conversation and serious topics. You risk getting stuck when you've been serious too long and it's harder to find an opportunity to change the mood back to something less heavy.[/i]

Re-Initiating Conversations​

You've gone on a date. You impressed her with your intriguing personality, great humor and your beautiful ears. You want to see her again. This means you'll have to re-initiate the conversation. If you've done everything right, you've already gotten to know her a bit, which means the first conversation you had will be quite different from the ones you're going to have in the future. Now how do we make sure we can still talk or arrange a second date?

Immediate Inside Joke​

After a date, it's great to send the girl a text within an hour of meeting her. She'll be delighted to hear from you, if she had fun on the date. Usually I'll send her a short message referring back to something that happened or something you talked about during the date. I purposely keep the text short so I know that if the girl answers, she probably enjoyed the date and is interested in you. Example:

Thijs: Haha I still can't believe you actually called the waiter "mom".

Girl: OH MY GOD my cheeks are STILL burning! I couldn't look anyone in the eye when I left. I'm sorry I was so silent at the beginning, I suppose I was just a bit nervous

Me: That's fine. I can never shut my big mouth, and you opened up pretty nicely, so it didn't bother me at all. I had a lot of fun!

Don't be afraid to tell a girl you enjoyed yourself on the date, or what you thought about her. You're not supposed to be some emotionless machine. Be honest with her.

Thijs: You do realize that your skirt made my penis very happy? He probably felt like it was his birthday.

Girl: Oh I definitely noticed Took great care in selecting my clothes hihi

If you send a text like those just after the date, you'll immediately know how interested she is in you. When a girl enjoyed herself on a date, you can be sure she'll answer as soon as she sees the text. If she didn't, well... Be prepared to get a lousy text back, or even none at all.

Greetings​

When you re-initiate a conversation with a girl you've already had some good chats with, you don't need to put much thought into every opening text you use. You already know she'll react well and conversation is effortless with her. I like to greet girls and use their name in the text. It makes the text way more personal.

Thijs: Good morning, Lisa!

Girl: Good morning!! I actually dreamed about you. You were a pony farmer. Weirdest dream I've ever had.

Thijs: You didn't know I am a pony farmer? With all those bronies nowadays, I get more and more requests for a "gentle pony that doesn't mind getting stroked".

Girl: I refuse to accept those bronies are actual human beings. Some kind of brainwashed zombies.

Thijs: What's up, you thief, (Inside joke)

Girl: I'm in the weird part of youtube again.

Thijs: I once watched a full hour of a liposuction surgery. I have no idea why.

Girl: I just saw a chimpansee rape a frog. What a cruel world.

You see how here the girl is obviously more comfortable with me already, which makes it really easy to start new conversations.

Wait For Her to Text First?​

Some guys seem obsessed with having a girl text them first. Fact: Some girls will never, ever text first. You don't need to play mindgames and wait to see how long it takes before she texts you. Face it, sometimes it just won't happen. We're men and we take the first step. Be a leader! Don't dwell on it if you are always the one to initiate the conversation. So, that's all folks, hope you got something out of this.