"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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texting before the next date?

stevo

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Yup and your average beta would crack.

You have to literally have a life away from a girl.

Haha any non assault interaction with women even hookups require IL.

If her IL is high enough for you to even see her panties, she'd hit you up and when she does you know it's a go.

thebiglimp said:
her: sure i'll let you know. you're free most of the nights?
me: yes, fortunately. (we're both freelancers)
Next time, do not give the impression that you dont have anything to do with your life.

Just to make sure, was this the very last text you both sent? how many days ago was this?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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thebiglimp

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one thing tho, this girl is unusual in that she's bisexual, initiated the meet first by giving me her phone number, was hitting on me during the meet which i was too drunk to respond to... so she's been leading the parade the whole time, even up to figuring out what to do for the next meet. and then when i ask her 'when', stuff goes cold. so this is when i figure i should be the one pressuring her this time. but oh well... your words are wiser.
 

thebiglimp

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48hrs ago.

rest is this

me: yes, fortunately
her: ok cool, i'll let you know.
i gotta go to sleep, good night. :)
me: right on. good night :)

lol funny thing is, she was online for another couple hours after that, probably chatting up with other dude/girls.
 

stevo

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When a girl draws back, you draw further back. You do not take up her weight.

What you described is how it should be, it's not her leading the parade, it's you making her qualify for your attention.

You however should be telling her what you'd both do, not her figuring out what to do.

thebiglimp said:
funny thing is, she was online for another couple hours after that, probably chatting up with other dude/girls.
She could have, you could have chatted up other girls too, no biggie.

Remember if you start analyzing every single thing a girl could do, you'd drive yourself crazy that's why its key to let her come to you and also key for you is to have other girls. :yes:
 

thebiglimp

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yup i am the over analyzer.. you should see my previous mistakes. i think i've come long way since that thanks to practice and advice.

but how's my case much different from simple flake out, i wonder.

i realize i did push things too fast by asking the second date the very next day... but we're both 30 yrs old, she's a total no-bs type, and not even american. lol. and she's let it be known several times that she's not into dating, just casual hookups.

so if that lets in a smaller chance of this being a waiting game, then i'm screwed either way- cuz she's gotta call whenever she feels like it and i have nothing to control that.

and yeah, i'm too obsessive about it. but that can only get fixed even slower :(
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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