"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Texted her the next day, is that okay sometimes?

jackhamma

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Approached a cute 23 year old girl and her friend at a sports bar last night. Both were very friendly and into the convo. The 23yr old and I exchanged numbers and spoke about trying a new spot out across the street this week.

She actually texted me later that night saying "It was nice meeting you!"

I responded with "you too, lets get together this week." she said "sounds like a plan:)"

I just decided what the hell and texted her this evening just saying "hey whats up, was thinking about trying that spot out tomorrow or thursday are you free?"

she said "hey! I am actually going to be out of town but not sure when I am leaving yet, can I let you know tomorrow?"

I responded with "sure, if its better we can go when your back in town, whatever works, let me know."

She hasn't gotten back yet.

Was that ok messaging her? Her IL was very high last night and I actually was thinking of going to that spot tomorrow or thursday...if she doesn't get back to me tomorrow, is that showing that her IL is lower then I thought? Do I hit her up again in a few days if no response by tomorrow?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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goldengoose

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jackhamma said:
she said "hey! I am actually going to be out of town but not sure when I am leaving yet, can I let you know tomorrow?

She told you this. Why are you going to hit her up again until she gets back to you? She knows you want to hang out, let her be the one to get back to you. Don't be an AFC and keep bugging her. You already sounded too needy for a date with your texts. She said she's going out of town. There is no need to keep bugging her about a date. If you keep bugging her her IL will lower. She seemed interested at first, let her show that interest by getting back to you for the date. If she doesn't, you know her IL isn't high. Girls who want to go out with will hit you back up to go out when they say.
 

jurry

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Yes to all, and turn it down a little bit with this one you sound borderline needy/supplicating.
 

El Payaso

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You sound needy, bro.
 

VladPatton

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I've done the next day texting with that "let's get this done!" mentality and it didn't work. Just slow it down and see what happens when she gets back in town, if it truly is for real.

Gotta love these "I'll be leaving town, but I don't know when, or for how long, and when and if I'm coming back" excuses.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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i like calling the next day. texting just feels weak to me but a lot of the times it works. I will always call the next day before sending a text as it shows more confidence
 

TheMonkeyKing

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VladPatton said:
Gotta love these "I'll be leaving town, but I don't know when, or for how long, and when and if I'm coming back" excuses.
Yup. It's the first in a succession of sh!t testing. She's probably not even going out of town(!), rather testing the guy to see if he desperately chases again.

Stay strong jack, and go out an get more womens' numbers/attention in the meantime. Do this and she will text you back to meet, purely out of curiosity. She is only one of many, many options you have.
 

TheGambino

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I number closed a broad this afternoon and I just texted her 5 mins ago heyy lets meet up this weekend what day works for you

idc I feel like texting her now so I just go for it, I know guys who call a hour later and still get the girls out for dates, If shes interested it doesnt matter when you call she wants to hear from you
 

jackhamma

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She responded...but how do I respond to this??

She responded back via text a few minutes ago saying this:

"hey jack I'm sorry I can't make it out this week :-/ "

Now it might be legit, might not. How should I go ahead and respond to this???
 

VladPatton

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That's where I was getting at with the obscure ''out of town'' excuses. Just reply "ok", or forget it altogether. Sounds like she's not serious about meeting.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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TheGambino

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Exactley what Vlad says. Reply with 'ok' and forget about her. Don't initiate anymore you made your move. If she wants to get together she'll get back to you if not move on. Chasing at the point will ruin any chances.
 

jackhamma

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Yeah figured that...

Was it something I did on my end?? She seemed to have high interest in the bar...then she just doesnt wanna get together?

What could I have done different? Or was she just destined to flake?
 

TheGambino

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It happens all the time bro. Girls just love attention and being admired by men. So she flirts, teases you, when you make your move like asking her out she rejects you or comes up with excuses, happens to me also some times. I guess its just lack of interest, she didnt mind talking to you and having fun in the bar but shes probably not interested enough to meet up.

If a girl is really interested she will find a way too see you, so if she can't make it on a day she will offer another day if not shes just a flake

don't get attached to 1 girl its a numbers game get used to talking to women more often and approaching and number closing, you won't care if 1 girl is giving you a headache coz you'll have plenty of options
 

jackhamma

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TheGambino said:
It happens all the time bro. Girls just love attention and being admired by men. So she flirts, teases you, when you make your move like asking her out she rejects you or comes up with excuses, happens to me also some times. I guess its just lack of interest, she didnt mind talking to you and having fun in the bar but shes probably not interested enough to meet up.

If a girl is really interested she will find a way too see you, so if she can't make it on a day she will offer another day if not shes just a flake

don't get attached to 1 girl its a numbers game get used to talking to women more often and approaching and number closing, you won't care if 1 girl is giving you a headache coz you'll have plenty of options
I understand what your saying completely.

Honestly something that I am still confused about. I read so many threads on this site, and am so use to these online flakes that how can I tell if a chick is legit busy, or giving a BS excuse?

I mean lets get real. If she really wanted to see me, she could make time this week. Unless she really is going away with family or w.e

I actually responded with her can't get together this week remark with "maybe we can do something next week if I'm not busy" and she responded with "sounds good"

Could it hurt to try 1 last time next week?
 

goldengoose

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jackhamma said:
Was it something I did on my end?? She seemed to have high interest in the bar...then she just doesnt wanna get together?
Yeah, you sounded too desperate for a date. Your first mistake is below


jackhamma said:
She actually texted me later that night saying "It was nice meeting you!"

I responded with "you too, lets get together this week." she said "sounds like a plan:)
This is good, you want her to text you first. You made the mistake by setting up a date on the same night on the first text she sent you. Flirt with her a bit, make her laugh, exchange a few texts before you set up the date with her. She has interest so keep it going before you ask her out.

jackhamma said:
I just decided what the hell and texted her this evening just saying "hey whats up, was thinking about trying that spot out tomorrow or thursday are you free?
This is your second mistake. You already asked her the night before and by asking her again makes you sound even more desperate for a date.

jackhamma said:
she said "hey! I am actually going to be out of town but not sure when I am leaving yet, can I let you know tomorrow?"
Here's the response you got from her, an excuse to both of the days you suggested. She covers her ass by saying "not sure when I am leaving yet" so she has both days as an excuse not to go out. You can see her low IL now.


jackhamma said:
I understand what your saying completely.

Honestly something that I am still confused about. I read so many threads on this site, and am so use to these online flakes that how can I tell if a chick is legit busy, or giving a BS excuse?
Most likely if you're getting an excuse it is B.S.

Chicks always make sure they are free when it is a guy to their liking. Funny how all these illnesses and problems pop up on the day or a couple of hours before the date is supposed to go down.

If the excuse sounds like a sh1tty one it is always B.S.

If it is legit, she will hit you back up for the date for sure.

jackhamma said:
I mean lets get real. If she really wanted to see me, she could make time this week. Unless she really is going away with family or w.e
Chick will make time if they like you.

jackhamma said:
I actually responded with her can't get together this week remark with "maybe we can do something next week if I'm not busy" and she responded with "sounds good"
jackhamma said:
Could it hurt to try 1 last time next week?
Why do you want to keep asking her out? You already asked her out twice. She was quick to tell you she was going out of town. Let her hit you up if she is interested. Otherwise you're wasting your time. Get new numbers and don't be so needy for a date next time.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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