texted a number from last week...and then radio silence.

[starfishandcoffee]

Haven't had this happen in a while, almost all girls I've spoken to lately follow through and contact me back.

went more or less like this...got the # two weeks ago at a coffee shop on campus, and then I got sick the following week, so I waited this week to follow up. Good rapport, but I wasn't expecting much from this particular girl.

what I sent:

me: This semester's getting intense fast. How's yours?
her: who is this again? half of my phone numbers aren't labeled.
me: cute. this is the good-looking rascal you met at the coffee shop.

and...zilch.

Probably nexting her, but is there any magic line I can use here? (I've come roaring back when it's an in person interaction, but obviously texting is way different.)

 

[Eph]

"And he's down for the count". I hate to be another Harry, but this is a pretty good example of how and why bad texting kills relationships. Texting is meant to compliment face-to-face interactions, not replicate them. Although texting fails at that part of its intended purpose anyway.

You can't build rapport through text either, so asking her how her semester was going is pretty useless. This is even more true in regards to someone you just met. You can get away with it a little more with people you know well.

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can to revive her interest. Move along.

 

[sharkbeat]

Nope.

The more your proceed, the more "creepier" you get. Save yourself the trouble, and spend your time on something more worthy like working out.

 

[NewJack]

Your text game is very, very, very tight.

Her view of your connection is that its a generic one.

Interestingly, you feel the same about it:

Good rapport, but I wasn't expecting much from this particular girl.

"Good rapport" is an oxymoron, like "wooden iron". If the rapport is just "good" then its merely a friendly/polite interaction and not rapport. In this case your sexual desire is pushing forward an otherwise largely neutral interaction that wouldn't inspire a follow-up.

 

[TheCWord]

Yeah, really, if you're not a good writer then I wouldn't suggest trying to be cute and funny over text. "Good looking rascal." You wouldn't say this in real life, I hope, so you certainly shouldn't say it over text - just comes across as try-hard.

And you didn't say in your OP, but was there anything before your message about the semester? Or did she just get a text from a strange number? If the latter, how was she supposed to know who you were?

That's why I like to send an ice breaker text within a couple hours of getting the number. I don't expect a reply and, if I get one, I don't write back, but just a little "hey, nice to have met you. -cword" while I'm still fresh in her mind, then she can save the number. That way when I text her a week later to muse on the unforeseen intensity of the semester, she'll know who it is and be more receptive because of a built-in familiarity.

 

[mustfirstregister]

i usually text this and it works 4 me. ive done 15k approaches by the way and i'm not kidding.

me: where are you?
she: home
me: come now
she: where?
me: starbucks at .....
we meet and we start day2.... last time i did it was on sunday but couldnt finished her. she turned to be a bitcg.

 

[starfishandcoffee]

thanks for the input, guys - I'm trying to learn from every interaction I have with women, not just the ones who I manage to rope into dating me.

Yeah, really, if you're not a good writer then I wouldn't suggest trying to be cute and funny over text. "Good looking rascal." You wouldn't say this in real life, I hope, so you certainly shouldn't say it over text - just comes across as try-hard.

What I say often comes across differently than what I text. People (especially girls) think I'm hilarious, but I keep forgetting that comic timing doesn't work over text - especially when it's with someone who doesn't know you. I'll note this and learn from it.

And you didn't say in your OP, but was there anything before your message about the semester? Or did she just get a text from a strange number? If the latter, how was she supposed to know who you were?

The latter. I thought that when you waited to contact somebody after number closing (3 days, a week, whatever) you didn't want to begin the texting exchange by announcing who you were. If I'm mistaken here, please tell me - because I do it all the damn time. (From what you're telling me, I blindsided her with the surprise text and this de facto creeped her out.)

That's why I like to send an ice breaker text within a couple hours of getting the number. I don't expect a reply and, if I get one, I don't write back, but just a little "hey, nice to have met you. -cword" while I'm still fresh in her mind, then she can save the number. That way when I text her a week later to muse on the unforeseen intensity of the semester, she'll know who it is and be more receptive because of a built-in familiarity.

Doesn't texting her a couple of hours later come across as desperate, though? Like...if you want to give out the impression you're good with girls, isn't she one out of the 20 you met that day, and you get around to finally talking to her 3-4 days later?

 

[buzzin_frog]

"And he's down for the count". I hate to be another Harry, but this is a pretty good example of how and why bad texting kills relationships. Texting is meant to compliment face-to-face interactions, not replicate them. Although texting fails at that part of its intended purpose anyway.

So, you think just because he texted her that killed a "relationship"? LOL

The texts he sent her isn't the problem here.....it's her interest level...it has to do with the guy...she has no interest in him at all....his texts had nothing to do with it...C'mon man get with it!!

No, this is not a pretty good example of how/why texting kills relationships

First of all, they are not in a relationship

Second, this chick doesn't even like him

Third, she doesn't even remember him

So, what the hell are you even talking about? LOL:

That's how chicks treat the guys they don't like...they forget about those guys....they are not into them...then when those guys try to call/text the chicks....the chicks ignore them....why?...because they don't give a sh!t about them.....and then some guys want to keep asking these chicks out over and over again... LOL.....it is not the text...it is the dude they don't like.

if she liked him, she would be responding to his texts with no problem....she would have high interest and would want to text with him....his texting wouldn't "kill" anything.

Texting has nothing to do with this situation!!.... it has to deal with her interest level....she has zero interest in the guy....she still wouldn't care for this guy regardless if he texted her or not!!

That's what guys like you, Harry, and others fail to understand...you always want to blame a text even though these chicks don't give a sh!t about the men they ignore....texting has nothing to do with it....they would still feel the same way regardless!!

So, by texting this chick, he measured her interest level....he saw that she has none...so now he can forget about her....he just screened out a flake without wasting his time on her....which is the point I've been trying to get across to some of you guys on here!!

This is what texting does for you...it measures interest level.....it screens out flakes.....it shows you which chicks are really interested in you or not...this situation is a perfect example of what I'm talking about here...I'm glad this guy posted this thread to prove my point!!

The other lame advice goes like this.....get her number....wait a few days.....call her up for the date.....so you wait your few days to either get ignored or flaked on....then some guys are dumb enough to ask them out over and again LOL.....Like I said, that is a waste of time because nothing is ever going to happen!!

You can't build rapport through text either, so asking her how her semester was going is pretty useless. This is even more true in regards to someone you just met. You can get away with it a little more with people you know well.

What the hell are you talking about?....I've texted chicks who I didn't see that lived out of state....I was having sex with them when I finally got there....sounds like a pretty good rapport to me!!

You don't send a massive amount of lame texts...but when chicks are into you...texting won't kill interest!!

Texting only fails when the chick has low interest or has already lost interest in you.....that is not the fault of the text...it is her interest....she would still feel the same way regardless if you texted or not

If the chick was still into a dude....she would be thrilled to be texting him.....that's what you guys don't seem to understand....it is the interest that counts...otherwise you can blame anything for the demise of the relationship!!