"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Text to remind her of tomorrows date

Mr.Fantastic

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Do you guys text a girl the day before a first date? If so, what do you text? It was thursday that we organised to meet on monday so I think I should send her a small reminder, but don't want to send some boring 'hey, hope you havn't forgotten about tomorrow' or some other needy ****.

I was thinking something along the lines of 'hey, don't be late tomorrow, last one to arrive buys the first round! :)'

What do you guys text the night before you are meeting a girl?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

iliketennis

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i would definitely not say something that shows you're worried about her forgetting or being late
 

Ease

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Id say definitely dont text.

Needy and weak from every way you look at it.

She will either text you, show up as expect or stand you up.

First 2 are fine, if she does the 3rd then punch her in the face.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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chance-

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no, then it'll show you have nothing else to do and you aren't busy. if she doesn't show then she wasn't obviously interested in you that much.
 

r0cky

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I always text them the same day. Something neutral like "hey we're still on for tonight right?" A simple reminder wont make or break the date. If she doesnt want to go, shes figured that out long ago, unless your text is something really out of this world.
 

Phat

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Just by reading your needy behavior i can already tell shes going to flake on you regardless if you text her or not.
 

Mr.Fantastic

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ok, so the general consensus seems to be not to text. Anybody else got any idea on this? surely more people on this board go out with girls than this?? give an opinion, it wont hurt!!!

oh, and to phat - seriously not helping dude - thats like me saying 'you are on a seduction forum so you are automatically needy - you'll never get laid now!'
 

Jitterbug

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I usually text them to tell them what to wear for the occasion. Like a certain theme, or a hat, or red boots, something to my liking that has a purpose for the place / event we're going to. It demonstrates my sense of style and gets her to work at it to qualify herself.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Constantin

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I would be sending fun little bull**** flirting texts this whole time building up tension for the meet. It makes little sense to ask someone out and then want to talk to them before and not doing anything.

if you're that nervous about her flaking, like another Phat said, you might be screwed already. I know that's not practical advice though, so I'd just chill out and CALL (if i'm not joking around I call, texts are for **** that doesn't matter) to clarify some logistics of the date. By clarifying the logistics you're by default confirming the date. So listen to Jitterbug and tell her to wear her red boots!
 

Pimp-sicle

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+1 to all the others who said NOT to text. If you did your job right and this girl is interested she won't flake bro. If she has really high interest she'll contact you to make sure its still on.

However if you must text, like the others mentioned, don't say anything like "are we still on?" that's just screaming neediness, you already agreed a couple days ago. If she's gonna flake, she's gonna flake no matter what.

Go with Jitterbug's suggestion if you text and say something neutral like "you better look good tmmrw or I'll pretend like I don't know you... LOL" so she knows your teasing her....


Don't stress on it, keep us posted.




PIMP
 

nismo-4

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Texting to remind of tomorrow's date is what the girl is supposed to do for you. You texting the girl says I'm desperate in 13 languages! It's not very effective.

If she really likes you and the attraction was there, then she won't flake anyway. If she calls or texts you, you win! OP, you text, you lose!

Case closed. Who Dat?
 

Dante420

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If you must text ask her about something she's going to wear let her know you enjoy seeing _______ on a first date
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Mr.Fantastic

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yeah, I think I built quite a lot of attraction so this shouldn't be a problem. I was just wondering, since it will be like, 3 days since setting up the date whether it would be standard practice to give a little text, but now I can see that it would indeed be needy, if she needs confirmation she can text, if not it's all good.

I guess most guys would send a 'reminder text' and therefore it is probably best not to send one.

Also, if she forgets about the ****ing date then obviously she wasn't that into it!!

I can't really think of anything to text her anyway - although the comments about saying something random and then 'see you tomorrow' or telling her what to wear do seem very money, but perhaps would be more suitable for the next meeting when i know her slightly better.
 

Kailex

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This is why I generally set up dates just 2 days in advance, or in some cases 3 days in advance. It's recent enough that you don't need "filler time" but also not too last minute. So if I had that date on Friday, I would have set it up most likely on Wednesday.

Don't text her. Trust me, she knows she has a date with you and if the IL is high, she doesn't need a reminder.

Also, texting her a reminder, no matter what is, has a 90% chance of coming across as needy, no matter what you send. So if she doesn't show up, even without the text, trust me, you already know to next her and it cost you absolutely nothing.
 

cletus

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Mr.Fantastic said:
Do you guys text a girl the day before a first date? If so, what do you text? It was thursday that we organised to meet on monday so I think I should send her a small reminder, but don't want to send some boring 'hey, hope you havn't forgotten about tomorrow' or some other needy ****.

I was thinking something along the lines of 'hey, don't be late tomorrow, last one to arrive buys the first round! :)'

What do you guys text the night before you are meeting a girl?
DON'T TEXT ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It'll show you care too much and ruin any attraction you had.

If your that worried about it then call her and try and reschedule it for Tuesday. Shows your busy (good sign) and sometimes things come up. Plus now she'll have no excuse to forget.
 

Mr.Fantastic

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ok, so people here seem to be saying not to text anything, but i asked the question on another forum and several guys said they had good sucess with a little text a few hours before the meet.

I am leaning towards no text and going on the assumption that she will remember, but several people suggested something simple like

'see you at 7 x'

which is simple and assumes that she will turn up.

thoughts?
 

PectoralisMajor

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women LIKE to know whats going on, so by NOT texting she might feel that you have forgotten yourself, and will then be uncertain about whether its ON.

it very much depends on her personality and the interest you have built up previously as to WHAT you text.

personally, I text to confirm, even if its a date or not ! I like to confirm because my time is short.

a text isnt going to make or break the date as long as you dont say something needy, or place too much effort into it.

you can just say as most people have said already ' looking forward to tonight, see you at 7 x'

JOB DONE, now stop worrying and get on with it !!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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