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Text/Online Game Help

Dadsockz

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Before I start, I just want to mention I do go out and cold approach. I’m making progress, but In general, my texting apparently sucks. Both online and with girls I met in person.

Are there resources somewhere that can help me get better?

I’ve gotten feedback that I’m to ‘gamey’ with my texts and look like a try-hard. That may be the case, but when I’m texting these girls, It’s honestly from a place of self amusement. I’ll admit I overanalyze some responses, but still.

Some sample conversations I’ve had recently where the girl stops replying pretty quickly:
 

biggoal

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Before I start, I just want to mention I do go out and cold approach. I’m making progress, but In general, my texting apparently sucks. Both online and with girls I met in person.

Are there resources somewhere that can help me get better?

I’ve gotten feedback that I’m to ‘gamey’ with my texts and look like a try-hard. That may be the case, but when I’m texting these girls, It’s honestly from a place of self amusement. I’ll admit I overanalyze some responses, but still.

Some sample conversations I’ve had recently where the girl stops replying pretty quickly:
Came on too strong too early I think. What dating site is it? I think that depends a lot too. A trashy site like OKC or a swipe site like Tinder, maybe.

A dating site like Match or Eharmony that's higher end women, more demanding, picky and older crowd probably not the best of ideas to come on strong so early.
 

Black Widow Void

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Although I'm not a big proponent of texting, you seem to have a good grip on social banter. My only suggestion is keep texting at a minimum and end with a question (this prompts a response - rather than leaving them with a statement).
 

nismo-4

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This forum really needs a texting game and online dating forum.

Well of course you look like a tryhard if you're not in first place with her. If you were Steph Curry and messaged her this ukelele sh*t, she'd be so much happier and giddier!

And these girls seem to be holding out for a better guy i.e. Chad or Tyrone and you're just seen as some random beta she enjoys getting attention from. As long as your dik ain't within 5 miles of her! These women aren't attracted to you beyond platonic friendship. As evidenced by these girls dropping off when you ask them out.

Get these girls on the phone. Too much gets lost in translation during text. Jokes get misunderstood and texting ain't personal. She could be texting 20 motherf**kers and boosting her ego.

New applicants have it rough with any new woman, and all it takes is one action, inaction, or trait about you to cost you.
 

biggoal

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This forum really needs a texting game and online dating forum.

Well of course you look like a tryhard if you're not in first place with her. If you were Steph Curry and messaged her this ukelele sh*t, she'd be so much happier and giddier!

And these girls seem to be holding out for a better guy i.e. Chad or Tyrone and you're just seen as some random beta she enjoys getting attention from. As long as your dik ain't within 5 miles of her! These women aren't attracted to you beyond platonic friendship. As evidenced by these girls dropping off when you ask them out.

Get these girls on the phone. Too much gets lost in translation during text. Jokes get misunderstood and texting ain't personal. She could be texting 20 motherf**kers and boosting her ego.

New applicants have it rough with any new woman, and all it takes is one action, inaction, or trait about you to cost you.
This. A few weeks back I had a chick MILF 40 miles away I was talking to from Facebook dating app then texting. She was throwing selfies at me from a birthday party and all chatty. She asked if we could meet on such and such day. I said and was honest I had to work that night so I asked if we could meet the following day and after that she didn't talk a lot and came up with an excuse for not being able to go out.
 

AttackFormation

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The vast majority of women on OLD are there for entertainment and validation, at least or especially if youre not Chad. Very few of them have any intention of meeting up with you, and if they do, it may simply be because theyre on the personality disorder spectrum and/or want a meal ticket from men dumb enough to bribe women for their time.

I would take any rejection on OLD even less seriously than the irl numbers game. You have to take OLD as seriously and put in as much effort as women do - as close to nothing as possible.

You worrying over "game" is a coping mechanism for not having the looks and pictures for these women to treat you as more than a chewing gum for their ego like the other 90%+ of men.
 
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Trump

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I’ve gotten feedback that I’m to ‘gamey’ with my texts and look like a try-hard.

That may be the case, but when I’m texting these girls, It’s honestly from a place of self amusement.
It’s not rocket science. Just don’t let them know they “amuse” you.

‘Hi how are you? I saw your profile and thought we could connect. Do you have time to go for a drink next Thursday at 7 pm?”

Too hard?
 

Hal9000

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Until I actually meet a woman my only goal is to get her out on an actual date and I'm typically asking her out within a half dozen texts or so. One complaint I hear over and over from women is how many men appear to want to be texting buddies but won't actually ask them out. This strikes them as meaning the men are either catfishing them, are too scared to ask them, or they are too cheap/poor to be able to afford a date. Either way, they get nexted. I don't get into long drawn out texting convos until after I've gotten a date confirmation or we've actually met. The science of how to text once one gets to that point revolves entirely around who you are speaking to. There's not a one size fits all template you can use to impress everyone.
 

Dadsockz

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Came on too strong too early I think. What dating site is it? I think that depends a lot too. A trashy site like OKC or a swipe site like Tinder, maybe.
It's Hinge... it's the app I personally have the most luck on. You're allowed to send the girl a message, then she gets to decide if you guys will match or not.

You worrying over "game" is a coping mechanism for not having the looks and pictures for these women to treat you as more than a chewing gum for their ego like the other 90%+ of men.
Normally, I'd agree, but I've had my photos rated on photofeeler.com and come out in the top 1-2%. The rating system seems to be fairly accurate because I've put up ****ty pictures of myself that were rated a lot lower. But it's possible that there are godlike guys in my area that are making me look like a 5 - so who knows.

You texted 2 in a row. And yes she "felt" try hard.
The double texts were my attempt to re-engage. Which barely works, but it's always worth a shot.
 

BackInTheGame78

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It's Hinge... it's the app I personally have the most luck on. You're allowed to send the girl a message, then she gets to decide if you guys will match or not.


Normally, I'd agree, but I've had my photos rated on photofeeler.com and come out in the top 1-2%. The rating system seems to be fairly accurate because I've put up ****ty pictures of myself that were rated a lot lower. But it's possible that there are godlike guys in my area that are making me look like a 5 - so who knows.


The double texts were my attempt to re-engage. Which barely works, but it's always worth a shot.
If this is true in relation to your photos, perhaps they feel you are out of their league? I'm not sure but if what you say about the photos is true that does not gibe with what i have seen with some good looking buddies who use OLD...they get more ass than a toilet seat in Wembley Stadium.
 

biggoal

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It's Hinge... it's the app I personally have the most luck on. You're allowed to send the girl a message, then she gets to decide if you guys will match or not.


Normally, I'd agree, but I've had my photos rated on photofeeler.com and come out in the top 1-2%. The rating system seems to be fairly accurate because I've put up ****ty pictures of myself that were rated a lot lower. But it's possible that there are godlike guys in my area that are making me look like a 5 - so who knows.


The double texts were my attempt to re-engage. Which barely works, but it's always worth a shot.
I downloaded hinge but only a few girls within 30 miles so I deleted the app.

I'm telling you it's all about location. When I was up in Tampa I'd get likes om bumble and switched my location on match to my location and suddenly I had cute girls look at my profile without having to even messaging them. Then switch it back down here where no one in my county uses it and nothing but crickets because everyone is 30 or more miles away.
 

ubercat

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In the immortal stage lines of Sandra bullock

Is it the BigGoal? Yes maybe a bit...
 

Dadsockz

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Keep it simple: less texting, more fvcking.

The less you text, the more pvssy you’ll get. Trust me on this.
Have tried this. Or at least tried mirroring the amount of text. However, as the person trying to lead the conversation, qualify/add comfort, it’s hard to just text simply.

Will continue trying though, because in some of the successful conversations I’ve seen online, the dude definitely invested less.
 

Barrister

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Before I start, I just want to mention I do go out and cold approach. I’m making progress, but In general, my texting apparently sucks. Both online and with girls I met in person.

Are there resources somewhere that can help me get better?

I’ve gotten feedback that I’m to ‘gamey’ with my texts and look like a try-hard. That may be the case, but when I’m texting these girls, It’s honestly from a place of self amusement. I’ll admit I overanalyze some responses, but still.

Some sample conversations I’ve had recently where the girl stops replying pretty quickly:
My two cents:

(1) You waited too long to respond after she invited you to talk. A full 24 hours just off of that comment comes off like you're intentionally trying to wait to respond which can be a turn-off. In fact, I would be curious to know how long between your initial comment (that has no time-stamp) and when she "invited you to talk" and responded. I am not familiar with this app.

(2) After she didn't respond to your initial response, it was a mistake to then double text 48 hours later. That came off desperate whether it is how you feel or not. Effectively ending any chance (however remote) you had.
 

Barrister

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I downloaded hinge but only a few girls within 30 miles so I deleted the app.

I'm telling you it's all about location. When I was up in Tampa I'd get likes om bumble and switched my location on match to my location and suddenly I had cute girls look at my profile without having to even messaging them. Then switch it back down here where no one in my county uses it and nothing but crickets because everyone is 30 or more miles away.
Lol...This shtick...yes men outside of any major metropolitan area have probably never encountered a female before I would venture.
 

biggoal

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Lol...This shtick...yes men outside of any major metropolitan area have probably never encountered a female before I would venture.
My county population is about 250k. Maybe 3 decent looking women on match and not even in there daily. Pof even trashier. The average age in my county is 56 years old. The town I'm in the age average is 66. County to my north average median age is 55.
 

Dadsockz

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My two cents:

(1) You waited too long to respond after she invited you to talk. A full 24 hours just off of that comment comes off like you're intentionally trying to wait to respond which can be a turn-off. In fact, I would be curious to know how long between your initial comment (that has no time-stamp) and when she "invited you to talk" and responded. I am not familiar with this app.

(2) After she didn't respond to your initial response, it was a mistake to then double text 48 hours later. That came off desperate whether it is how you feel or not. Effectively ending any chance (however remote) you had.
ah, yeah. There’s no way to tell when I sent my first message. Often girls do not reply right away. Some it takes a day, some several days. I think a lot of girls have their notifications turned off. Anyway, I can see how the over 24 hours thing might look (even though girls will take that longer or longer).

as far as the double text, I figured 48 hours was good, no? Lots of things online say to re-engage after the first nonreply within 1 day, the second within 2, etc
 
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