"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Text messaging

YoDJYouMyDJ

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I know most of you are probably against it, but I wanted to ask a question about texting (on the cell phone). DO you think it's ok to text a girl and say "What's up? You wanna hang out this weekend?" on like THursday? I could conceivably call but I just feel I'm awkward on the phone and this would be better. Also, it makes it look casual and cool like you don't really care. Please let me know what you all think. thanks
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Dukester

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sure, that's fine. as long as you dont write a book in ya text message. keep it short and sweet and to the point. no more, no less.
state opening line (hey), and purpose (wanna hang out this weekend).
 

frivolousz21

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its good.

short!

Hey, wanna hang out Friday?

she: sure

you: I wil call you then.

her: look forward.


done! :)
 

Hot Ice

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It doesn't make you look casual and cool, just plain ordinary.
I'd call, but if you suck on it and you know it'd be better to text message, then do what your instincts tell you to do!
Go ahead! Noting to lose!
 

YoDJYouMyDJ

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btw - i met this girl last weekend and we hooked up (no sex) - does that change anything?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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jakeyboy

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no it doesnt.. go ahead with your texting to ask her out, when you get her out on a date and get to know her better, maybe you'd be more confident enough to call her for a date then :D
 

Jon E

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I do it all the time and say stuff like:

"hey short bus, got time for lunch?"

or

"Hey loser! Get a life!...call me."



Both field tested to have replies within 30 sec.
 

Barbillus

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You guys should be calling, not texting.

If this was a chick you have been dating for a while, then yea, switch it up soemtimes and text her.. but fo rhte first few dates pick up the phone and CALL.
 

TheRelic

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**** the rules. Texting *can* be great. Not so much initiating, but responding. It's incredibly easy to throw in some c&f responses, and I have always done so with great results. If you're good at communication, the method seldom matters.
 

MadeInTheUK

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i deffinately always set up dates over the phone... dont text them...

girls love to text you... you will end up with texts like good morning and good night. and you can use some really flirty stuff in return... but no long conversations...just ****y funny stuff that makes them giggle and think of you during the day when your not with her.

this way she can think of you for the rest of the day and also wait for your next text...and think of you more.... and also she can tell/show her friends how sweet and how much of a horny goat you are with the texts...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DJBen

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You cant find out anything with text messages.

It's always best to call, even if it's only a real short phone call:

"hey girl"
"hey!"
"I cant talk for long I'm real busy, free up some time on saturday night, we're off to play pool and have a few drinks"
"erm!... whats makes you think I'm not already real busy?!"
"whats more important than spending the night out with this sexy, clever, modest guy?"
"Wh..." *interupt*
"exactly! Good, I'll meet you at 8 outside rileys, baii!"

If she's got a problem, she'll tell you. Assume she'll be there if you dont hear anything about it.

I like to do that kind of phone call as a "we're going out tonight" type of phone call. Makes her get a bit nervous, rush around, and be all excited for the rest of the day.

If she's really interested, she'll make it. If she flakes on it, dont call her for a while - suggest something else. If she flakes again, get rid of her.
 

squirrels

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If it's going to require more than a brief exchange (more than 2 or 3 SHORT texts), then you should just call.

If this is the FIRST time you've asked her out, call her. If you guys are cool and have been going for a while, a text saying "Dinner tonight?" or something along that lines is fine. You wouldn't want to send that to a new chick, though.

Be careful about going out of your way to use text because you're afraid your phone-skills aren't up to snuff. Text should never be used as a "cop-out."
 

Jariel

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I love text messaging. But as others have said, keep it short. I'd also advise that you never reply immediately. While she's waiting for your reply, she's thinking about you.
 

YoDJYouMyDJ

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Ok - i'm getting kind of conflicting info because I only met her once but we ended up hooking up (I got head). HAving that in mind, what should I do? I really just wanna send a text that says "hey this is xxx from saturday. lets hang out this friday." Also, if I was with her on Saturday, when should I text/call her to set up something for Friday? Today? Wednesday? thx
 

YoDJYouMyDJ

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alright. so i send a text earlier today that says "hey. this is XYZ from saturday. remember me?" and no response! I find it hard to believe she;s just blowing me off b/c she was literally all over me on Saturday. If don't get a response from her by Thursday should I just call her and be like "hey this is XYZ from Saturday. we should get together tomorrow night"? What do you think of that? thx
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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