Text her back or not?

[the_stig]

Situation is I recently started talking to a girl again that I dated for a few weeks in December, she's hinted at "friends" but we've hung out, been intimate, had sex, etc, so i'm unclear of our exact status, but I want dating and will NOT be just "friends". We started talking about this, but didnt get to finish. Tonight she texts me and it went like this (She lives 30min from me and is on 3 hrs sleep):

HER: Guess i'm not going out tonight
ME: How come
HER: My friend had to cancel she's upset about something
ME: Be over at 9 and we'll get you a drink
HER: haha i'll probably be asleep
ME: Stay awake
HER: How come you arent going out
ME: Maybe I am and i'm taking you with me
HER: lol what bar are u going to? some of my friends will be downtown
ME: Ya i'll be downtown too
HER: Fun fun Your liver is going to hate you
ME: Yup have fun staying in - This is the last text i've sent
HER: Yup I will be snuggling with the puppy soon
HER: Text me later if u want. Have fun tonight
HER: Maybe we can go out next weekend! I am off! Lets go downtown!
HER: [texts picture of her dog 30 min later]

Should I respond or let her last four texts be? I'm trying to increase her IL. I also want to finish our chat before I agree to meet her. If I replied it'd be "We'll see where we stand after that chat" in regards to plans next weekend. Give me some better advice on how to game her! She texts me multiple times daily btw.

 

[Radharc]

In your situation I wouldnt answer the last 3 messages. Give it a few days, she'll probably contact you. Anyways, about that "chat before anything else" issue, its usually not a good idea to try to conduct things with women like its a logical negotiation, it'll more often than not put them off, and you'll come off as bit insecure. The way to do it, if you are so adamant on sorting it out, would be to "escalate" on the way you are together, invite her to a weekend out or something like that, if she agrees it indicates she wants to take it to a next level and the answer to your issue will come by itself, if she doesnt you also have an answer.

 

[Iceberg]

I also want to finish our chat before I agree to meet her. If I replied it'd be "We'll see where we stand after that chat" in regards to plans next weekend. Give me some better advice on how to game her! She texts me multiple times daily btw.

Finish your chat about what? Your relationship status?

You can't chat a girl into being sexually interested in you. Either she is or she isn't. That will be sorted out if/when you see her next weekend.

Also, there's no need to respond to her last 3 texts. They're useless as to how things are going tonight. Sounds like she just wants some attention. Which is good, because now we know what she wants....and we know to withhold it until she gives YOU what you want.

As for her value to you...if she stays true to her plans to meet you next week, then we're onto something. If she flakes, then she's a lost cause. Simple as that.

 

[Packers2010]

Situation is I recently started talking to a girl again that I dated for a few weeks in December, she's hinted at "friends" but we've hung out, been intimate, had sex, etc, so i'm unclear of our exact status. Assume FB now, but I want dating and will NOT be just "friends". We started talking about this, but didnt get to finish. Tonight she texts me and it went like this (She lives 30min from me and is on 3 hrs sleep):

HER: Guess i'm not going out tonight
ME: How come
HER: My friend had to cancel she's upset about something
ME: Be over at 9 and we'll get you a drink
HER: haha i'll probably be asleep
ME: Stay awake
HER: How come you arent going out
ME: Maybe I am and i'm taking you with me
HER: lol what bar are u going to? some of my friends will be downtown
ME: Ya i'll be downtown too
HER: Fun fun Your liver is going to hate you
ME: Yup have fun staying in - This is the last text i've sent
HER: Yup I will be snuggling with the puppy soon
HER: Text me later if u want. Have fun tonight
HER: Maybe we can go out next weekend! I am off! Lets go downtown!
HER: [texts picture of her dog 30 min later]

Should I respond or let her last four texts be? I'm trying to increase her IL. I also want to finish our chat before I agree to meet her. If I replied it'd be "We'll see where we stand after that chat" in regards to plans next weekend. Give me some better advice on how to game her! She texts me multiple times daily btw.

what?!

if it was me. i would reiterate the fact that she is staying in with a dog and not a real person " hint" " hint"

i mean doesn't matter if you fail wit that cos you will be out and about. can meet her after.

( also i am not saying you WILL fail. i am saying it's a flip from here)

 

[runner83]

Dude,

I have 2 questions to ask you:


1) Why the fvck are you having relationship talks with a girl?

You should not be doing this. For G@d’s sake, just let things take their course. If you starting talking relationships with a girl like this, it is likely to scare her away.

Attraction is not a process of negotiation or compromise – it is spontaneous.


2) Was this on a Friday / Saturday night?

If so, then you should not have even answered the text for at least several hours or even the next morning.

Unless she is your girlfriend or a girl who has a consistent record of interest in you, do not answer texts from a girl on a Friday or Saturday night!

Even if not true, you should be conveying the impression that you have interesting stuff happening and are busy, until that becomes a reality.

In this case, she messaged you to get her ego fix from you.

Your line “Be over at 9 and we'll get you a drink” and she knew she still has you by the balls, on her beck and call whenever she feels like it.

And then, with that ego boost she probably headed out to da clubs to pick up another guy.

Better course of option would have been either:

1) Ignore the text completely until next morning…then something like “Wow…was so noisy…what a crazy night”

2) “ABC Club at 10pm. Be there”…and ignore anything else that comes through.


Do not fall into the texting trap with chicks.

Keep it short and concise, and when in doubt, no answer is better than a bad one!

 

[the_stig]

This all happened in the last hour, and I can't say it's a FB, just gotten mixed messages. We started talking under the guise of friends, then hung out and things were immediately where they left off, there was talk of "taking it slow, not making the same mistakes, leaving the past in the past". Yet in our text argument about this, when I called her out on some bs, she said "oh you don't want to be friends?" - and theres where we didnt get to finish,

 

[Radharc]

This all happened in the last hour, and I can't say it's a FB, I just don't know what she wants as i've gotten mixed messages.

What she wants isn´t as important as what you want. And trust me, you'll have a much better shot if she is wondering what is it that you want than the other way around. You like logic and things clarified, her interest in you on the other hand thrives on emotion and uncertainty.

 

[f283000]

This all happened in the last hour, and I can't say it's a FB, I just don't know what she wants as i've gotten mixed messages.

It's about WHAT YOU WANT!

Your next course of action is rather simple.

1. Ignore those last texts she sent you, don't reply to them: You said you were going downtown SO ACT LIKE IT! Let her wonder about all the fun you are having downtown with your friends. Let her get annoyed at the fact that you didn't reply to those last 3 texts she sent you as you are having too much fun with your friends. That's what we call good annoyance

2. The most important action of all is for you to ask her out. Not to go out with friends on the weekend but to spend time with you JUST YOU TWO. That's how you show a girl you mean business and you erase all confusion from her "mixed signals."

Don't complicate yourself. All questions can be answered by simply asking a girl out and getting her response.

 

[the_stig]

What she wants isn´t as important as what you want. And trust me, you'll have a much better shot if she is wondering what is it that you want than the other way around. You like logic and things clarified, her interest in you on the other hand thrives on emotion and uncertainty.

Understand perfectly: take her out, show her a good time, sex her up, all while acting like I don't care about our "status" because i'm too busy seeing other girls and leading an exciting life with or without her.

 

[Iceberg]

Understand perfectly: take her out, show her a good time, sex her up, all while acting like I don't care about our "status" because i'm too busy seeing other girls and leading an exciting life with or without her.

Pretty much, yeah.

I don't know why you'd be having conversations with her about relationship status. As someone said earlier, it's not a negotiation.

The sexual status of your relationship will be settled when you guys meet face to face. Not through talks and texts.

 

[the_stig]

Pretty much, yeah.

I don't know why you'd be having conversations with her about relationship status. As someone said earlier, it's not a negotiation.

The sexual status of your relationship will be settled when you guys meet face to face. Not through talks and texts.

The relationship status talk was a mistake in the making, glad you saved me before we actually got into it.

How would I tentatively react if she rejected my physical advances and behaved more like "friends" than "lovers"?

 

[Radharc]

The relationship status talk was a mistake in the making, glad you saved me before we actually got into it.

How would I tentatively react if she rejected my physical advances and behaved more like "friends" than "lovers"?

If she is into you, even if she rejects them at first, if you dont let it phase you, keep a grin on your face, keep things light and have a good time, she will eventually accept your advances. If not she will tell you to stop and will leave or ask you to leave, trust me, youll know. The "rejection" is really different when it for real and when its just a test or a "not so fast" rejection. In any case, never let it phase you and keep a smile on your face, and walk away if its the second kind of rejection.
The "more like friends than lovers" thing, if after you made your intentions well know she still wants to be with you its just a way of her saying "you´re getting there".

 

[runner83]

The Corrosiveness of Asking for Excessive Advice

Bro,

I know you are just trying to learn, but doing this (asking advice from stranger's over the internet as the situation unfolds in real time) will be incredibly and detrimental to your game.

Instead of living your life out there, you are using the computer as a prop.

I wrote about this very thing just recently:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=182284

DON'T DO IT!

Get out there, make mistakes, and by all means give us reports on what goes well / not so well.

But do not ask for advice in real time like this ever again.

 

[iliketennis]

glad you didn't have the "relationship talk". as others have said, that's what girls do. your job is to brush off those conversations and temporarily sideswipe the questions.

there's nothing wrong with calling her every now and then to talk. but you should set up a time for the two of you to meet. have something in mind that you're going to do and tell her she can come along.