Text game when it comes to a taken woman

[TheCWord]

DISCLAIMER: I do not endorse pursuing taken women!

In this case, she is the one pursuing me. She's in an LTR that has clearly run its course.

With single girls, I don't do small talk over text. I pretty much get right to making plans. If I am rebuffed, then no more texting.

With this taken girl, I'm wondering if the same rules apply. If I ask her out and she says no, it's not necessarily low IL as would be the case with a single girl. It could be she doesn't want to go out until she's broken up with her BF. It could be that she does want to go out, but it's not the easiest thing to maneuver given her current situation.

So, like I said, if I got a no (with no counter) with a single girl I'd just drop it, but I'm wondering if that would be counter-productive with a taken girl. After all, I'm her escape. Her fantasy land. I need to exist for her to think more seriously about leaving her BF. She needs that adrenaline rush of texting with me, her first new boy in years. If I take away the adrenaline, her IL may go with it.

If I ask her out and she says yes, okay no problem. But what do you think if she's evasive here, boys? I know she would want to keep texting for her adrenaline rush - but I'm not interested in ONLY being a fix for a bored GF, I want to take it to the next level. Would going ghost work against that?

 

[Maximus Rex]

Proceed with Caution Bruh

How do you if she isn't attention wh@rin' or just merely using you as conduit to make her man act right or to make him jealous? Also, are you prepare to deal to deal with consequenes of taking somebody else's broad?

 

[Çharismo]

Move on.

770 posts and this is what you are having trouble with?!? I hope you aren't serious.

Originally posted by:- TheCWord

DISCLAIMER: I do not endorse pursuing taken women!

Oh really!!!?

In this case, she is the one pursuing me. She's in an LTR that has clearly run its course.

You don't know that. She might cheat and go right back in to that LTR and dump you in the process.

With single girls, I don't do small talk over text. I pretty much get right to making plans. If I am rebuffed, then no more texting.

Ok.

With this taken girl, I'm wondering if the same rules apply. If I ask her out and she says no, it's not necessarily low IL as would be the case with a single girl. It could be she doesn't want to go out until she's broken up with her BF. It could be that she does want to go out, but it's not the easiest thing to maneuver given her current situation.

You don't endorse things like this...remember!?!? Have some standards and some self-control.

So, like I said, if I got a no (with no counter) with a single girl I'd just drop it, but I'm wondering if that would be counter-productive with a taken girl. After all, I'm her escape. Her fantasy land. I need to exist for her to think more seriously about leaving her BF. She needs that adrenaline rush of texting with me, her first new boy in years. If I take away the adrenaline, her IL may go with it.

Why is this chick any different from some of the other ones you have dropped!?!? Who cares if her interest level goes down. She already has a man. I wouldn't even waste my time with someone like this neither should you.

If I ask her out and she says yes, okay no problem. But what do you think if she's evasive here, boys? I know she would want to keep texting for her adrenaline rush - but I'm not interested in ONLY being a fix for a bored GF, I want to take it to the next level. Would going ghost work against that?

I say you drop this chick and move on because you don't endorse things like this. Even if you do reel her away from her current BF she might do the same thing to you if you decide to boo this chick up. Again how do you have 770 posts and are stooping to this level to get with this chick?!? It's never worth it. You can't possibly be this desperate to get with some trash like that. There are too many single women out there that you can talk to rather than waste your time on some trash. Yeaa I called her trash because she is a low-quality woman to go behind her BF's back.

At the end of the day you will do exactly what you want to regardless of the advice given. Have fun!!! :kick:

 

[Zarky]

I don't think there's any such thing as "text game." I'm a huge, huge fan of texting but I use it to set up sexual situations, keep lines of communication open when necessary, and that's it. The bandwidth of text messaging is so narrow that there's no way to know what the person on the other end is getting out of the data you're sending.

To me it's like "Morse code game." Does anybody think you could run "game" on such a paucity of data? I don't. The best you can hope for from text is to keep lines of communication open, set up future meetings, and avoid f*cking things up.

That said, knowing how to do the above three things is quite important. What I believe a guy should do in OP's situation is open lines of communication and keep them open. This act alone will be seductive. Open a channel and let her fill it with whatever data she wants. And then set up a meeting, or whatever. The fact that a channel is open, no matter how narrow, means that she is slowly getting more and more involved with you.

 

[TheCWord]

Thanks for the replies. Will respond to them here.

How do you if she isn't attention wh@rin' or just merely using you as conduit to make her man act right or to make him jealous? Also, are you prepare to deal to deal with consequenes of taking somebody else's broad?

I don't at all know if I am the victim of attention-whoring or if this is a girl who has fallen for a guy who's not her boyfriend. Therein lies the conundrum, Max. My usual AW-detector doesn't work in this situation. If I try to make plans with her (still just a hypothetical at this point) and she doesn't immediately say yes or gives a counter offer, how do I know if I'm just being used by a bored GF or if she really is interested in me and is just trying to keep her morals in check?

If the latter, can I really disappear (the way I would on a single girl that doesn't accept my dates)? Or do I have to keep up a bit of small talk, which I hate, while she sorts out her situation?

You see the problem, right, Max? SoSuave has programmed me to never talk about feelings too soon, so I'm not going to ask her about that kind of stuff. But in this situation you almost want to put a little more out there than you would with a single girl, because you want to make sure you're not a victim of attention wh*ring.

All I can say is she doesn't profile as an attention wh*re.

Various comments

Yeah, I get it. Messing around with taken women is bad and you think I'm a hypocrite. You're not entirely wrong.

Your shock over my tenure in SoSuave resulting in questions like this is not unfounded either. I'm as surprised as you are. The fact is, I have actively avoided taken women, so I've never had to face this situation.

What can I say to a strange on the internet other than you have to trust this is obviously an extenuating circumstance if I am even considering it? Whether it's because it's something special or because I'm just falling into the trap of wanting something I can't have, I certainly have no idea. But I have other plates on the go, I'm fulfilled, and yet I still want to set this situation up for success as best I can. Don't know what that says about me or this whole thing.

If she's chesting on her current BF with you, what makes you think she wouldn't do the sa,e to you?

At a certain point, women get bored and always look to "trade up."

For what it's worth: I've been reliably informed that her strong IOIs towards me, which she has not acted on sexually so she hasn't cheated yet, are out of character. She's a bright, mature girl with a very professional occupation and has no reputation of being slutty or attention-wh*ry. This seems to be a first.

Ideally, she would resolve her situation at home before spending any time with me. But that's the problem, GMMR... It's a serious LTR she's in. Living together and all that. Will take some time and willpower for her to sort it out. If she does. But she'll want to make with the texty text in the meanwhile. I could tell her I don't want to hear from her until she's unencumbered, but what I'm asking is if I kind of need to be present to give her that extra nudge to end her dysfunctional relationship.

That said, knowing how to do the above three things is quite important. What I believe a guy should do in OP's situation is open lines of communication and keep them open. This act alone will be seductive. Open a channel and let her fill it with whatever data she wants. And then set up a meeting, or whatever. The fact that a channel is open, no matter how narrow, means that she is slowly getting more and more involved with you.

I've been thinking in terms of keeping a channel open as well, but I also don't want her to feel like she doesn't have to buy the milk because she can get the cow for free. Know what I'm saying? I don't want to be her text msg buddy if we're never going to meet up. Likewise, I don't want to next her if there is something significant here. I wouldn't be writing this kind of thread if I didn't believe that was possible.


PHEW. That was a lot of typing. This could turn into one of those defining SS threads for me. Thanks to everybody who chimes in. Funny and kind of refreshing how once you thought you've got a handle on women, a new situation springs up that puts you to the test.

 

[GS750]

Oh I've been in this situation with an ex, she was doing 100% of the contacting. But I felt like I was being kept as a plan B in case it didn't work out with the guy or being used for attention or emotional connection that she wasn't getting from the current guy. Once I saw that she had no intention of seeing me, just wanted to talk/text with me, I walked. Actually I ended up having to block her phone number. You'll have to figure out what her intentions are. Is she interested in something more or is she using you for attention? Or as Rex pointed out is she trying to make the boyfriend jealous? Plus she's texting another guy (you) regularly while she's in a relationship. That's kinda shady. Who will she be texting behind your back if you end up dating her? Maybe you should pull a preemptive friend zone on her and see how she reacts.

 

[Tictac]

TELL (not text) her that you might be interested if she resolves her current situation.

 

[Cremasta]

If a taken women is putting the moves on you, or at least giving you the signals to try your luck... do NOT text her.
It is just an electronic paper trail for any suspicious bf to find, then your world can get screwed over royally.
Make her call you, or you call her. Give her some crap excuse that you hate texting if you need to, but don't create a lasting record of whatever it is you're doing.

 

[TheCWord]

Ok, the more I think about it, the more I'd rather her resolve her situation at home before anything happens with us.

Next time she gets all texty text with me, I was considering getting right to the point - asking her how things are at home. I don't want to be in this grey area friend zone, so I figured asking her can at least inform me as to whether or not she has any intention of actually leaving her BF any time soon.

But would asking her what she plans to do with her BF situation be akin to telling a girl that you like her? With single girls, I never give up too much too soon. By asking this girl if she's planning to leave her BF, I've pretty much stopped being a challenge.

 

[Tictac]

Tell her that you MIGHT be interested if she cleans up her act.

 

[TheCWord]

Tell her that you MIGHT be interested if she cleans up her act.

Thanks TicTac.

 

[jimmy18]

"Contact me when you become single"

 

[jurry]

Tricky one. I had a similar situation in college where the girl had been with her bf for years and was ready to get out, and I did tell her I liked her and initiated it I suppose, however we were both in a big dorm together so its a lot different. If you have a decent amount of social exposure to this girl you have the chance of having her being around you guilt-free, having fun with you, potentially seeing you with other women (!!!), etc.

You could tell her you like her, but just be cool and fun and relaxed with her. Even if she DOES break up with current bf, she is most likely not going to jump into a new one (what went wrong in my case). So be totally prepared for this to go nowhere and be honest about it with yourself, as you should be with all girls obvioisly but you know what I mean. You dont want to pressure her shes gota end the relationship on her own, but nothing wrong with letting her know (verbally or otherwise) that you think shes sexy and that youre a fun guy.