She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
... umm, after all that you gave her another chance? You're still communicating with her?sylvester the cat said:
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Because she's mentally ill. Have you ever tried dropping someone who's mentally ill? The guilt trips. The bombardment of calls/texts. It was less hassle to let her keep thinking it was on. Last night as I'm trying to sleep I get a call at midnight from her asking if I'll ever cheat on her. No doubt guilt but I'd be only too glad for someone else to take her off my hands.Yewki said:
Yes. As we've seen on that boundaries thread.guru1000 said:
Yes but not to this extreme. It sounded like you had actually given her another chance based on your recent updates... I can only hope that is not the case. The only reason to do so would be if you yourself are in fact mentally ill. Assuming you're not, you need to block her and move on. It's not your responsibility to take care of her if you no longer want to be with her. She has a family to look after her anyways.sylvester the cat said:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Tried that mate. Unfortunately she works for an agency my company deal with so there's no escape. And to be perfectly honest with you my life is far simpler and enjoyable without a girl in it.Yewki said:
She just called. I told her the next time i see her will be me coming to her place (in the 5 months i've been seeing her she only comes to mine). My lord the abuse she gave me. So that's that. She said 'break up with me', call it off everything. typical victim mentality and guilt tripping kept telling me 'you willl not control me, don't try to control me. lol. but no. i said - You will see me only when i come to yours. This is my out. If I dump her i won't hear the end of it. This way she is the one who has to end it. Conversation was Tues circa 21:50...Yorkex said:
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The last conversation she admitted that she didn't want me round hers was because her ex said if he ever caught her with another man around there he would throw her out. Turns out she doesn't own the house at all (which is what she had me believe) and that he owns the house and she is basically paying him rent to live there. She said she loved me and wanted to come and see me tomorrow. When I agreed (as is always best with BPD's) she then said in the same breath that she could not come round tomorrow. I laughed and said I had to go to bed as I was up early in the morning. I then switched my phone off.Yorkex said:
My opinion of her is:PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
This is something she would say. Unfortunately for you intelligent men know that had this been your true intention (to cast pearls of wisdom) you would have said why you did so in the first instance.PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Because you didn't love her... you loved an imagined, idealized version of her. She had some incredibly great qualities, and you weighted those highly in your perception and minimized the negatives for as long as you could. Your masculine core responds to those desirable traits she has and considers the attraction "love.sylvester the cat said:
More stones. Read Atom's input or GS570 or Yewki or Yorkex or anyone else's post for what pearls look like.PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
