johnnybbad said:
You hit the nail on the head here I think . . . Had to research a little bit of what you were saying, because you said it, I'm not "experienced". I think this situation is the least of my worries right now and that I need to focus on progressing my understanding of myself and how relationships work ("the game" so to speak). No doubt I'm in a scarcity mindset after you helping me realize that fact. I do remember a time when I was in the abundance midset in my early 20's. Now I find my self not far from 30, with a job that keeps me socially isolated for the most part and living in a place that does the same (both very rural). So I guess my mind is more or less trained to think that way since it takes much resources and time to have an abundant social life and such. Don't get me wrong, I think I can be blamed for not putting forth more effort to think in an abundant midset and therefore being in abundance of social situations. My eyes maybe opening and I believe I have found a jumping off point here to progress myself, confidence, and skills with relationships and how they work. I have certain common senses but I believe I have lost these types (like the saying, "if you don't use it you lose it). From just the little bit of reading on this site I think the people and information I find here will be a HUGE tool to help me. Maybe I will be become experienced enough at some point to contribute help to others also! Thanks for the insight bro!
Right on man, it sounds like you know what you have to do. I'm rooting for you.
In my opinion you should always be developing good habits. You might not get the initial gratification but the long-term payoff is that much sweeter. I liken it to learning golf. You could go out and learn yourself, hack up the course, and finally getting somewhat decent. The reality is that your swing is jacked up and you will never play in the big leagues. In order to become great and play at a higher level you now have to totally revamp your swing, but that proves hard because of the mind-muscle connection in your subconscious.
So yes you could shoot a text her way, and it may even work, but that behavior will lead to inconsistent results over the long term. Each subsequent girl you will rationalize in your head that if it worked that time then it might work again. You'll continue doing it. I know one text seems like a small thing but I believe the mindset it embeds is huge. Not to mention that getting a number from a friend of a relative of a girl months after the fact screams you have no options. Doesn't exactly put you in a power position if you start dating the girl.
When you are dealing with high quality girls that get hit on all of the time they will be able to sniff things like this out. Practicing abundance mentality, outcome independence, and the ability to walk away can be a learned habit. Let it become who you are until you don't have to fake it anymore. When you've got it then girls will feel it. It is very attractive to them because it is such a rarity with men these days. It signals that you are value. I'm not saying don't approach them and just walk away all the time. I'm saying approach them as the most powerful man you can be and have them sucked into your reality because its so strong. Again, don't think they won't feel it, girls are the master of vibe and being hit on. If they don't go for you, whatever, there's another one around the corner.
Any advice is appreciated.