Text Arguments - DON'T DO IT

[Frogster]

This week, my wife and I got into a text arguement. From the beginning, I explained that the discussion should be face to face, but she kept pushing. Eventually, she got what she wanted, a text from me that she could over-analyze, and then explode on.

Moral of the story:

Even if you're in a LTR or have been married for some time, keep texting flirty and to a minimum.

Never argue via text. You won't be able to "FIX" the problem via texting.

She will keep that as documented proof of what you've said, and then over-analyze the entire thread between the time of the text and the next time she sees you. She will fixate on that ONE sentence that she has most likely taken out of context, and then blindside you when she sees you again.. So don't give in to the temptation to respond to her. Cut the conversation off, and speak to her about it in person. You're in control. Keep your cool and postpone the conversation.

(yeah she'll still be mad, but she wont have documentation of what you said)

 

[RagingBalls]

I agree at some point, but Never arguing via text sounds too impossible for every relationship. It is a form of communication that is used by most people nowadays. It's not the arguments done in texts that we should be more concerned about but rather, the very people that is behind those phone that provoked an argument.

Why would you want to keep flirting to a minimum? That's funny.

If she'll keep it as a documented proof, then it means you better need packing up. Keeping away from an argument just because it's done via texting would not solve an argument but rather postpone it.

 

[Frogster]

Maybe I should have said "flirty or to a minimum".

And dont kid yourself. It doesn't matter how "high quality" a chick is, she will keep that text and rehash it until she can make you the villian.

Postponing the arguement doesn't resolve it.

Emotions can be read into texts and email. A face to face conversation allows for a more civil discussion. If you believe you can win an argument with a woman, you're delusional. That face to face "discussion" is coming whether you like it or not. So, don't give her more ammunition to use against you.

But lets give RagingBalls the benefit of the doubt.

Who here has actually resolved conflict via texting? I would be interested in knowing the story.

 

[IBreatheSpears]

Why would you want to keep flirting to a minimum?

That's not what he said. He said keep texting on the whole to a minimum, and when you are texting, make it flirty.

 

[RagingBalls]

Maybe I should have said "flirty or to a minimum".

And dont kid yourself. It doesn't matter how "high quality" a chick is, she will keep that text and rehash it until she can make you the villian.

Postponing the arguement doesn't resolve it.

Emotions can be read into texts and email. A face to face conversation allows for a more civil discussion. If you believe you can win an argument with a woman, you're delusional. That face to face "discussion" is coming whether you like it or not. So, don't give her more ammunition to use against you.

But lets give RagingBalls the benefit of the doubt.

Who here has actually resolved conflict via texting? I would be interested in knowing the story.

My bad about the flirt thing. I stand corrected.

I respect your opinion. As i've said, avoiding an argument over text would just postpone it and won't resolve it right away. Regardless of being solved or not through text, If you're the receiving end of her bltchiness be it a text message, call, e-mail, fax or other form of communication, i must admire your patience and strong desire to wait til you see each other before she receives a bltch slap. It must be dealt with right there.

My ex-gf and i argued through text to why i haven't been texting her the whole day. She goes "blah..blah, you didn't care like you used too...blah..blah..." I tried to explain that i had been so busy and stressed the whole day at work meeting with deadlines which was true. She still continues to text me stuffs like i should be concerned about her too, and even brought up a few of my shortcomings a day before. I got fed up and i text'd her that she's creeping me out, accusing me things which ain't true and if this is what it's going to be, then it's time to call it quits and part ways. I turned off my phone and continue working. As i leave the office, i turned on my phone and received a couple of text messages from her that she's sorry for acting so childish and immature...blah..blah...she won't do it again...sorry..blah..blah...i love you..blah blah.."

 

[goldengoose]

Women will use any words against you in any argument because they always have to win.

 

[pdx1138]

I agree at some point, but Never arguing via text sounds too impossible for every relationship.

not impossible. I've been there many times with different women. The best thing to do is deflect it or let them know it's important and discuss in person.

If they persist, ignore until you see them.

the lack of text "ammunition" from you helps greatly.

 

[Epimanes]

My wife and I have had some arguments over text. Sometimes its good because its almost like writing a letter. You can think before you respond so you don't fly off the handle with a knee jerk reaction. It helps you in a sense because then you don't hear her b!tchy tone to further your own reactions. If your going to agrue via text..

1. Keep your replies short and simple - don't reply with a monologue. Pick one thing said to reply to.

2. Don't swear.. Or call names in the text.

That's about it... If it starts to feel emotional and its not getting anywhere stop replying and then tell her you will talk in person when we have had a chance to regain our composure. (Same as in person except you disengage and go for a walk or something to let the adrenaline wear off so to not further the fuel on the fire and then re approach the subject say 20mins or so later).

Epi

P.s. Several times if I didn't lose MY frame in the texting argument and my wife was flying off the handle she would often appologize for being rude when I would see her in person. Not always ( this is especially true on PMS week cuz she can get quite emotional just before her period but I just become outcome independant about it and drop it unless I really was an aZZ and deserved it then I would appologize for my own shyt... And THEN she appologizes if she was out of hand but often not for a day or two.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I've been in text arguments before with girlfriends and girls who were just friends... and it never worked in my favor.

For one: I would find myself trying to answer their questions/accusations, but while I'm trying to find the words to type I would continue getting message after message from them. Then, I'd find myself trying to still answer the first thing they sent to me as well as the new stuff they sent to me... this was especially troublesome when I only had a phone with T9 capabilities, lol.

Secondly, the OP is right: women WILL use your words against you. Heck, I can't remember an argument where a woman wasn't able to quote something I said to her verbally, but in some of those cases I could convince her that the way she thought I said it wasn't accurate. Having those words sent to her via phone doesn't allow you to do the same thing.

Third, if a topic looks like it's starting to sound heated, or it looks like she's at a point where you sending certain words can come across as harsh or misconstrued, texting isn't going to help you. Think about it: if, during a text argument, you send her the following words:

"You're making too big of a deal about this"

You could very well come across as insensitive or uncaring. Whereas if you said it to her in person or via a phone call, you could use a vocal inflection to say it in a way where she wouldn't read it so harshly. Furthermore, you may have sent that sentence as an opener to be able to explain why she shouldn't see it as a big deal, but since she types faster than you, you're now being hit with a barrage of counter-arguments from her when you were just using the sentence as a set-up.

I don't get into texting arguments anymore. Know why? One, I limit the amount of texting I do, mostly for setting up dates. And two, on the off-chance a woman I'm dating sends me a text that sounds like it's supposed to lead to an argument, I PICK UP THE PHONE AND HAVE A VOCAL CONVERSATION WITH HER SO THERE'S NO CONFUSION ABOUT THE THINGS I'M SAYING. And so I can settle the argument faster - lord knows the last thing I need to do is have an hours-on-end messaging fight when I can nip it in the bud in 10 minutes with an actual real-life conversation...

 

[adam225]

Women will use any words against you in any argument because they always have to win.

Exactly. The best response to an argument with a women is - "if you don't like it then dump me" . Nothing else needs to be said. :yes: