Testing...

[RangerMIke]

I got a PM from a member asking me about testing, why chicks do it and how to respond. I never really gave it much thought... my advice is if she's making things hard go find other chicks... and if she's no fun... go find fun chicks.

Chicks are not testing you... they are testing themselves... they are testing how THEY feel. When you let her drift off and don't chase her or you are non-responsive, she figures out if you are worth pursuing. If she thinks she is going to lose her shot with you and cares, she'll reach out and hope you do something. If your absence stimulates her chase instinct, she figures she feels something.

When you try harder and don't leave her be... she will be ticked off and push you away harder. So let her go and figure out how she feels... but it is no guarantee that letting her go will work. She might learn that you really don't make her feel anything, in which case you are done.

It's never about you or what you do, that is PUA BS, it's all about her interest level and how you make her feel. So if you are looking for a chick to connect with, just keep trying them on and you'll know one fits if she likes you enough to put effort into you.

 

[guru1000]

Really depends when it's done. There are congruency tests early on and they actually work pretty well in that regard. There are also DHV, jealousy plotlines, and other game tactics they use to raise interest.

What do you think this is covert operation 007?

In concerning yourself with her "tests," you are already overvaluing her. She's not that important. She either surrenders to you and makes things easy or she gets the boot. Simple.

 

[guru1000]

You're just changing the subject. We are analyzing why they do what they do. If you don't like the thread, read a different thread.

Actually you are. The subject matter is how do you respond to tests. The answer is you don’t. Find a chick that makes things easy, and walk away from those who don’t.

This means:

You meet a girl;
You ask for her phone number;
You text or call her and ask for the date;
You go out, have a good time, and have sex,
You continue seeing her as long as you want.

If she throws a test at you, don’t even acknowledge it. You just continue with the above. And if she gives resistance, you simply walk away.

Dating is simple, so keep it simple. For LTRs, the above does not apply.

 

[RangerMIke]

Really depends when it's done. There are congruency tests early on and they actually work pretty well in that regard. There are also DHV, jealousy plotlines, and other game tactics they use to raise interest.

I'm not saying you are wrong, because I do not know. But I really don't think there is any such thing as a 'congruent test'. I think when chicks ask you to do sh!t for them, it's not that they are testing you... and they don't want you to 'pass' or 'fail', they want you to do things for them. Women just naturally want to see just how much they can get out of a man.

I have never noticed that a chick responds different to me if I do things for them or not. However, I do believe HOW you do things will impact how she feels about you. If you are TOO eager to please her by doing sh!t for her then she starts to think she is better than you, which kills her interest.... She wants a man that is better than her, not her equal or less.

 

[guru1000]

"I got a PM from a member asking me about testing, why chicks do it and how to respond"

Redundant exchange. As stated earlier, the answer to the bolded is it's irrelevant, as the indulgence as to why a girl has wavering IL to the extent of "shvt testing" you places too much importance upon her, and not upon you.

Some chicks are just not going to be that into you, and analyzing their roadblocks belies your own value. Do you think the proverbial high-value man analyzes why a particular girl makes things difficult while dozens of other chicks make it easy for him. It's a matter of what thinking serves you best. Any thinking outside of what serves your interests best is devaluing by virtue of the implicit pedastal-ing.

As stated above, she is not that important, meriting how to handle HER test. Instead she should be worrying how to handle YOU. <<== This is the macro frame.

 

[Roober]

There is no such thing as testing. Women are just women. It will always happen regardless of her interest level and commitment to the relationship.

If they don't feel your strength, leadership, or resolve, you will perceive tests
If they don't feel your love or connection, you will perceive tests

A woman's emotions and the subsequent outpouring of her thoughts is merely an expression of her deepest desires. These "tests" are a misunderstanding of the feminine...
1. What she says is not what she means - If a woman says "I like tall guys" and your short, she is saying... "show me your as strong and powerful as a tall guy" or "you are short and cute, but too weak to protect me" or something...
2. Her negative comments revolve around something that is missing, leadership, connection, mental dexterity, or even your purpose

So what do you do?
a. Determine if her offense warrants next, ejection, or reduction of time - great for guys looking for lays
b. Smack her @$$ with a witty response - good middle ground for all men
c. Ignore her, but consider where she feels is missing and improve it - probably more of the LTR response

 

[The Duke]

Roober laid out the "Why they do it and What to do" pretty well.

The last schitt test I encountered came from a girl I was dating this summer. We were supposed to go to a concert together and I was planning on picking her up. She told me she was running an hour late and wouldn't be ready in time. I said fine, you can meet me there. This set off a schitt storm. She threatened to go out on a date with some other guy. I said go ahead, I'm going to the concert. She ended up going to dinner with the other guy. Sent me some angry texts while I was at the concert. I just ignored and mingled with a few single chics while I as at the concert. At the end of the night I sent her a text saying I was coming over. She said Ok, and I was in her bed 15minutes later and laughing at the guy who bought her dinner and didn't get laid! lol.

Do what you want, remain calm, don't take their schitt. Half the time the get over it and will have more respect for you. If they don't get over it, then find a new girl like Ranger Mike said.

 

[RangerMIke]

There is no such thing as testing. Women are just women. It will always happen regardless of her interest level and commitment to the relationship.

If they don't feel your strength, leadership, or resolve, you will perceive tests
If they don't feel your love or connection, you will perceive tests

I do agree there is no such thing as testing. Why would she 'test' a man because she really doesn't give fvck about how a dude feels, ONLY how that one dude makes HER feel. What is called 'testing' is really her attempt to figure out how a man makes her feel. She's only trying to gauge her emotions.

 

[BeExcellent]

There is no such thing as testing. Women are just women. It will always happen regardless of her interest level and commitment to the relationship.

If they don't feel your strength, leadership, or resolve, you will perceive tests
If they don't feel your love or connection, you will perceive tests

A woman's emotions and the subsequent outpouring of her thoughts is merely an expression of her deepest desires. These "tests" are a misunderstanding of the feminine...
1. What she says is not what she means - If a woman says "I like tall guys" and your short, she is saying... "show me your as strong and powerful as a tall guy" or "you are short and cute, but too weak to protect me" or something...
2. Her negative comments revolve around something that is missing, leadership, connection, mental dexterity, or even your purpose

So what do you do?
a. Determine if her offense warrants next, ejection, or reduction of time - great for guys looking for lays
b. Smack her @$$ with a witty response - good middle ground for all men
c. Ignore her, but consider where she feels is missing and improve it - probably more of the LTR response

I concur with the above. It's the way a woman sorts out how she feels and therefore she feels something. What she feels depends on lots of things, not the least of which is how the man feels about her.

When its harder to discern how the man feels she is the one who experiences uncertainty. When she experiences uncertainty she looks for signs that indicate the man's level of investment in her.

Some women will be direct in asking questions, others, perhaps most, are indirect and this comes out in the behaviors y'all classify as "testing." It's a putting out of feelers in a sense. People don't like to be vulnerable without knowing they are safe. Uncertainty feels unsafe. There are various ways to mitigate this from a woman's perspective. One way is "testing" or "the talk" and behavior along those lines. Another way is to directly ask (although bold this approach has the most risk from a woman's perspective), and still a 3rd way is to simply observe. Observation is the most mature way to discern the level of a man's investment, and it requires waiting for him to initiate (and to his initiation an interested woman will always respond in an encouraging way.) Women who have the patience to observe are far less likely to exhibit "testing" behavior, because they are more secure and feel safer opening up to a man because they can see his interest through his action.

So one way to reduce testing is actually to initiate more. Just saying.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

 

[Trump]

What do you think this is covert operation 007?

In concerning yourself with her "tests," you are already overvaluing her. She's not that important.

OK. We buy she is not that important. As long as:

1) US judges, politicians and lawmakers do
2) Disney, Hollywood, European, Asian cinema do
3) Guys in high school, in their 20s, 30s or 40s do
4) Billionaires like Warren Buffett and heads of state like Prince William do.
5) Governments, doctors and lawyers do

The whole system, billionaires, politicians, movie directors, and leaders of the free world value good looking young women like crazy, and sosuave tells layman like us not to.

I must be doing something crazy wrong.

 

[guru1000]

OK. We buy she is not that important. As long as:

1) US judges, politicians and lawmakers do
2) Disney, Hollywood, European, Asian cinema do
3) Guys in high school, in their 20s, 30s or 40s do
4) Billionaires like Warren Buffett and heads of state like Prince William do.
5) Governments, doctors and lawyers do

The whole system, billionaires, politicians, movie directors, and leaders of the free world value good looking young women like crazy, and sosuave tells layman like us not to.

I must be doing something crazy wrong.

Good point.

Outside of Trump, you'll notice the majority of billionaires, CEOs, and high-profile men don't marry attractive women. And, contrariwise, some men who pale in value date or LTR beautiful women.

Mark Zuckerman has much more extrinsic value via his power and status than I. Yet, I've never wanted to date or dated a women who looks like his wife.

When striving to achieve success, you mirror those who are successful in that specific pursuit. If you want success with the hottest women, don't model CEO game. Model CEO game to be a successful entrepreneur.

Model those who are successful with hot women to be successful yourself. Hence, the forum.

Trump, you've been in the forum for five years, and still struggle with the basics. Why?

 

[RangerMIke]

Im not in this camp. I know its about me and what value i want to bring in my life.
A mans place is not to make a woman feel good about herself. Better said a woman WILL feel great about herself and her life when shes with a man who feels this way about himself because naturally this will manifest in her life as well.
This core concept is being forgotten in some of these discussions.
The way OP put this it is still the man serving the womans interest level and that will not end well.
Your ultimate value comes from not needing her in your life. She feels good because YOU the awasome guy CHOSE her.

For those that this is going over your head.
Try to imagine your dream girl choosing you.
Whoever it is. Rock star, movie star, attourney, librarian, your favorite bar maid.
She feels the same way when your bad azz chooses her!!

Who said a man's place is to make a chick feel good about herself?

Men who are who they are... any dude can find a chick that is interested.... But if you want to increase the number of chicks who are interested in you... you will be the best man you can be. Having a "Dream Girl" is not relevant, if dreams do not match reality.

 

[Roober]

I concur with the above. It's the way a woman sorts out how she feels and therefore she feels something. What she feels depends on lots of things, not the least of which is how the man feels about her.

When its harder to discern how the man feels she is the one who experiences uncertainty. When she experiences uncertainty she looks for signs that indicate the man's level of investment in her.

Some women will be direct in asking questions, others, perhaps most, are indirect and this comes out in the behaviors y'all classify as "testing." It's a putting out of feelers in a sense. People don't like to be vulnerable without knowing they are safe. Uncertainty feels unsafe. There are various ways to mitigate this from a woman's perspective. One way is "testing" or "the talk" and behavior along those lines. Another way is to directly ask (although bold this approach has the most risk from a woman's perspective), and still a 3rd way is to simply observe. Observation is the most mature way to discern the level of a man's investment, and it requires waiting for him to initiate (and to his initiation an interested woman will always respond in an encouraging way.) Women who have the patience to observe are far less likely to exhibit "testing" behavior, because they are more secure and feel safer opening up to a man because they can see his interest through his action.

So one way to reduce testing is actually to initiate more. Just saying.

That's a great way to put it... uncertainty.

Nobody likes uncertainty, and the poor behaviors likely go both ways when either party feels that uncertainty.

People (men and women) are so fvcking guarded these days, they end up throwing relationships away before they even stood a chance. Heartbreak fvcking sucks, but build a fvcking bridge and get over it. Men need to learn how to deal with women, plain and simple, because most certainly don't know how. I would argue that so much of the population could benefit from understanding some of the more basic concepts presented by red pill.

And I really believe the foundation of it is lazy men. The lazy men have created this mess and the women are merely taking advantage of the situation, as any human being would.

 

[RangerMIke]

Men are stupid. and the fact that people still dont understand this is utterly disappointing.

shlt testing isnt some thing made up by the PUA community (as much i dislike puas)

its real and its not complicated.

She isn't really testing the MAN, she is testing how SHE feels about how he responds. A "test' indicates that you can pass or fail... that is BS. You can do everything right and she STILL doesn't like you. You can fail miserably and she will still hook up with you.

So yea there is 'testing' but it isn't about the guy. I prefer to call is 'gauging her own interest'.

Women are designed to manipulate men, they've been doing this for 100's of thousands of years, as the weaker gender of a dimorphic species. She competes though emotional manipulation since she can not compete otherwise because men are stronger and smarter. They are naturally going to push men to do things for them... this really isn't testing. If she asks you to do something, and she feels nothing for you, and you say no... this isn't going to flip her switch and now shes going to like you. If she asks you to do something, and she LIKES you, and you say no... BECAUSE she likes you she will try harder... which gets her to expend effort and creates value.

It all starts with her interest... if she doesn't like you, nothing you do will matter. However, if she does like you you can do sh!t to fvck things up. Don't worry about 'tests', just behave like a man, go for what you want, and if she likes you everything takes care of itself.

 

[RangerMIke]

ill stick to whats been working for me. but thanks

I'm not offering any advice... do what you want... you're welcome.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Men are stupid. and the fact that people still dont understand this is utterly disappointing.

shlt testing isnt some thing made up by the PUA community (as much i dislike puas)

its real and its not complicated.

most guys mistakenly think shlt testing is a bad thing. wrong. **** testing means the girl is interested in you. its a GOOD thing to get shlt tested by a woman you like

i wont get into the specifics about why its done or how it evolved but the short version is:

its a womans way of testing for congruence in a potential mate.

you might look like a man, walk like a man but is it legit? is your confidence for real?

thats how women evaluate you (especially in the early stages) by giving you shlt and gauging your reaction.

you fail by reacting negatively or being rattled by it. if you fall apart = beta (not worthy of her sexuality)

you pass by brushing it off and pushing forward.

theres different types of shlt tests and its not always in the form of questions or even spoken word.

the most common i personally encounter and notice are

1) small requests "can you do xyz for me"

2) jealousy "this new guy at work is sooooooo funnnyy"

3) criticizing something you like or do "oh you like video games, thats kinda nerdy", "do you always walk up and talk to girls you dont know"

shlt tests are as part of female nature as peeping at a nice @ss walking by is for men. dont be angry at them for it. its evolved for a reason. it will always happen and you will never change it. it can be a girl you just met or your wife of 20 years. so learn how to deal with it.

(side note, some women need a stiffer c0ck to keep them in check, some are not really into you and some are just bitches that dont know when to stop. judge accordingly, sometimes the juice aint worth the squeeze)

No you pass by getting mad enough at them that they're scared to try you ever again.

Being unphazed is just neutral.

You need to put them in their place.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

literally the worst way to fail a shlt test. ever.

Girls need to see you get mad.

If it's too much for them to handle, they can go cry to their mommy.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

and how has that been working out for you?

Well I went to prison once for getting mad at a girl.

So I'd say pretty well.

On the plus side, at least I scared her across the country.

 

[Trump]

Trump, you've been in the forum for five years, and still struggle with the basics. Why?

I hate to say it because it's nobody's fault but my own, but sometimes this forum has too much alpha thinking. "Don't get married, focus on money, be alpha, have status, forget women, focus on career, etc, etc, etc."

Well ok, I'm late 30s, alpha, tons of cash, awesome career, no wife or kids.

My friend is mid 40s, beta, some cash, wife and 4 kids.

Who is in a better position?