testing interest levels

[Jeremymichael]

Hi Guys,

How do you test interest levels with girls especially in bars. I know this girl who I get on with and we have exchanged phone numbers, but now I'm not sure whether to call her.
Initially I thought she was interested, now I'm not sure.

Is just getting a number enough. When I see her now in the bar she talks to me but also many others. The bar is normally quite busy and also she spends most of her night dancing. Under this king of environment it's difficult to aks her out.

If girls are interested I find they tend to hang around you a lot and make time for you and also use your name a lot etc.
Also they tend to find reasons to touch you.

God it's so damn difficult at times. They should have a course from abou the age of 5 on how to pick up girls. I think Beavis and Butthead mentioned that once!

 

[Mr. Me]

we have exchanged phone numbers

For one thing, if it's gauging a woman's interest level (IL) that you're looking to do (and you should), exchanging phone numbers isn't the way to go. That scenario is typically "give me yours I'll give you mine" and what she's really doing is obtaining your number so she can probably screen your call out when she sees it on her caller ID, while you're under the belief that she's interested. What she may have really done with that was to get rid of you that night by seemingly giving you her number. You shoot yourself in the foot with that one.

So now you have a bad foundation with which to ascertain whether she's truly interested or not, so now you have to take some more steps to see it through to get your answer. That means calling her and inviting (not "asking") her out. If she gives you any excuse at all or says anything vague like "Call me early next week", and doesn't offer a *specific* alternative date that she's available, then she's a waste of time.

But if you can gauge a woman's interest better at the time you meet her, you don't have to go around wondering and cut down on the bewilderment and frustration.

Here's some fast and simple ways of seeing if she's all that interested, although I think bars and clubs are hard environments and not as conducive as say, a private party environment or meeting someone through friends.

* When you ask her name, don't volunteer yours. Instead, see if she ever asks for your name.

* When you talk to her, observe: is she looking around the room or acting distant, giving one word answers, or is she fully engaged in speaking with you, and even filling in the empty spaces when you're not speaking?

* After building some fun and rapport, ask for her phone number. Does she hesitate or give any excuse not to hand it over or give you her business number or do that "give me yours first" or does she readily give her number to you?

Under this king of environment it's difficult to ask her out.

You don't ask her out when you first meet her.

The objective, when you first meet a gal, is to get the phone number. Then exit and make yourself scarce.

When you call her some days later, that's when you invite (not "ask") her out.

One step at a time.

It's really not that difficult.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

x2, solid advice Mr. Me

Get her number quick, exit, when you call if she *remembers* you, that's more telling than any bar based IOI's...

 

[Ingeniarius]

Use Anti-Dump's Machine to sort out uninterested women. Search for it in the DJ Bible.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jeremy Michael,
Your posts are always thought provoking,you are just too well mannered to bottom feed in bars.....go out with common interest groups and inter-action will just happen...Promise.

 

[window]

Jm, is this the same girl you texted last week after you were pissed ? Grow some nads and call her up. If she's interested she'll go out with you. If she says she's busy like Mr Me said then you can move on knowing you at least gave it a shot. At the moment you're in the twilight zone which is not a good place to be as you just do circles in your head.

 

[Jeremymichael]

yes window, you are right it's the same girl. Sorry oneitus.
Next time I see her, I promise I will ask her out and be dammed!. Actually, correction, invite her out!.