Testing her for congruence?

[upcoming_DJ]

This is a bit long but I keep coming back to the master DJs for master advice -
So I've been seeing this girl for 2 months and a half and we've spent almost all weekends together (with some weekends where I go missing and hang out with other women of my choice).

The girl I am seeing is displaying signs of "falling" for me, and moving towards relationship behavior and language. However, I am not sure this is a woman I want in my life for an LTR.

The girl comes from a humble/poor family, growing up with a single mother since she was 7 years old (she is 28 now). Her mom is old now, and cannot work anymore, so she is left with the day to day bills of the house. Has a stable government job but doesn't sound like she makes a lot of money.

For the first few dates, I paid for the weekends we spent together. Then I got her investing, spend up to $100 on some weekends.

However, this past weekend I picked her up (she lives about 2 hours away) and we began the weekend. When I'm ready I'd just tell her something like "babe pay this one" or "babe pick this tab up for us" and she'd do so. However, this weekend she completely refused to spend any money. She even got mad that I was pressuring her and teasing her on it (which maybe I shouldn't have done). She got mad with me saturday night because I dreaded her after she completely refused to pick up the one and only tab I wanted her to pay for the weekend (was around $180). This is after around 7 or 8 dates so far. where I pick up most of the tabs.

As for the pursuing - she has done most of it. Many times her texts and calls go unanswered sometimes up to days before she gets a reply from me. When she's with me, she doesn't get any weird calls or texts.

one thing I noticed this weekend when she was showing me something on snapchat, under "recents" she had the name of a guy friend from her social circle that she had a fling with. Should I be concerned about this? also - should I have brought it up to her? or should I just maintain my frame, confidence and show her I'm unbothered and unthreatened by him?

also - did I do right to straight up tell this girl that I don't expect her to pay 1/2 or many of the tabs, but that I also have standards and I've been use to women picking up tabs and treating me.

She doesn't withhold sex from me and is always compliant with my requests. We have a great time together and laugh a lot. The only and first time she with held sex from me because she was mad was this past Saturday with the situation of paying / picking up the tab I asked her to. She was mad that night and I tried to open her up by insisting she tells me what she's feeling but she refused to (Corey Wayne teaches this) and he also says that if a woman cannot communicate like an adult you've got to cut your losses because it spells trouble in the long term.

She knows I have a lot of options (women are always flirting with me in front of her wherever we go) and beautiful women call me when we're together (she sees their photo pops up when they are calling) and she usually just turns her face.

what would you do in this case? I'd prefer have someone who would be dependent on me and in that case - more humble, caring, loving, giving (apart from financially) that someone who is independent and because of that can move the way SHE wants and move to her sails.

then again - how can I know if she is just using me or going for the free ride???? what type of tests can I do apart from the ones where I tell her to pick up a tab??

thanks for your time and experience / advice in advance !!

 

[Macaframalama]

What are you investing in return? Are you taking more, than giving in return? You don't get them investing in you by suggesting or insisting they pay. She should feel like it is her idea. It takes a little finesse and you get them investing by doing some investing yourself. She obviously does not need your money, she can probably get sex elsewhere, as just about any woman can. She's looking for emotional gratification. This doesn't mean you have to go off and allow the relationship to escelate in a direction she may want to take it. Find out what her emotional needs are and tend to them. If it is for a relationship and you are not ready, express it. "You are taking this seriously and to take it seriously, it takes time to get to know someone". Forget about her investment for a second and try to listen to what she's not so straight forward telling you. She's starting to feel used up at this point and it's time to gratify her needs. Fvck the Corey Wayne bullchit. She isn't communicating the issue with you, because she doesnt want to come right out and tell you that she feels you are being a freeloader. You have the right idea with the investment. You just need to strike a balance. Don't test and don't intentionially flaunt other women in front of her. Act like you've been there before.

 

[t00dumb]

simple man, if you really dig the girl, you wouldn't think twice if she's the one for you. apparently you're hesitant about the whole situation. hell, if i really like the girl and we get along great, very easy to look past that. now if its a habitual issues, raise your concern. if that still make you feel used, you already know your answer.

stop wasting each other's time and get to the bottom of it. everyone (you and her) deserves to be happy with someone even if it isn't with each other.

 

[Atom Smasher]

This should be posted in the general discussion, not in “Tips”. I’ll move it.