"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Test?

TheJoe

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So, getting close to this girl after she broke up with her boyfriend. she has been phoning loads recently, so i asked her nicely to stop because i felt tired and needed sleep before work.

I didnt hear anything after that, and seeing as we have a lunch arrangment tommorow i gave her a quick call to confirm. no answer, i then sent a brief text a few hours later, no reply... then the alarm bells started ringing 'TEST! TEST! 'TEST!'

Now, i realise i really shouldnt have sent that text after the call but its too late now. gotta stay alert and im fully aware she may cancel at last minute... ill be ready with that "Thats no problem" answer ;)

Am i right to try and not act bothered at all to the brush off?

Thanks guys, Joe.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Socialreject

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The point is not to act angry or upset about it. If you do it sort of says you were really looking forward to it (too much) and you put time asside for it.

It should be something in terms of, oh she cancels, ok np, i just go do this other thing i was going to do a bit earlier then. Or even... well doesn't matter, i was going to be here anyways, with or without her.

But, an agreement WAS made and if she doesn't show up and gives you some lame excuse then that is kind of disrespectful, and you shouldn't stand for that. So you make a mental note of that, if you agree to meet again you could say something like "what are the ods of you actually showing up this time?" or something like that.

It's not a big deal, but it is sort of disrespectful, so treat it as such.

There are some exception of course, where there really is an emergency. If someone tells you they had to take their dad to ER or whatever that's a reason. If they sort of tell you they sort of alreayd had soemthing planned = excuse.
 

LittleBigOne

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I hope you are not a shoulder too cry on for her. If she is not there tomorrow at the lunch (with or without an excuse) you know enough. I know it s*cks when a woman doesn't reply, can't handle that either. But you might ask yourself: is she that important to me? And you can also ask yourself the question: what do i want from her? LTR, sex only, her little sister...
And personally, i dont think it is NO TEST...your story sounds more like she is too much bussy with herself.

LittleBigOne

Netherlands, the
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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TheJoe

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ok guys, thanks. ill take it into consideration

I cant see why she would be to busy to answer the phone or text back... but maybe your right, im really not that bothered if she does or doesnt turn up. I just wanted to know if it was indeed a test.

thanks, Joe.
 

poohead

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that's a flake, not a 'test'. a flake means low IL, period.
if you were a famous rock star would she try to test you by pretending to flake? probably not.
 

blinkwatt

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poohead said:
that's a flake, not a 'test'. a flake means low IL, period.
if you were a famous rock star would she try to test you by pretending to flake? probably not.
If she doesnt even answer the phone and give you an excuss,that is rude and doesn't even deserve your time of day.
 
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