TerriblementeCruel
New Member
I want to introduce myself to this community.
Also I want to make this thread my personal journal, write here my field reports and the changes in my life that I started. Maybe someone, sometime will find it useful. Feel free to comment.
But if it doesn't fit this forum - go ahead and remove it or move it to more appropriate subforum - I'm backing it up on my disk for myself. But I hope it won't get removed, because I count on comments later.
Right now I'm almost 27 years old average guy, average looking, average.. everything.
I have experience with women. Still - I feel (felt? Since the "change" has started... ) AFC.
To the beginning.
My first serious LTR occured when I was 20. Before that I was pretty frustrated with women, so I started to watch some PUA stuff. That's how I got this woman in my life.
Long story short, I lost my virginity to this girl, then AFC mentality struck me again - and I lost her 2 years later. Pretty normal story that we all know.
After the breakup, something changed. I was angry at women. I just wanted to play. This - somehow - got me to sleep with a lot of them. The year when I was 23 was f'ckin crazy. I didn't care for women to like me. I slept with 15 girls in this one year, most of them was ONSs. It was REALLY unbelieveable for me. Still, I didn't know what caused it. With one girl (8/10) that I slept with I thought she was "the one". You guys recognize it and know what happened next, don't you? Yep, the "relationship" was over. Oneitis is really bad disease.
Then I had to change the place I live in. I lost all my friends I was hanging around before. I lost my social proof. Then, like with the touch of magic wand, I was AFC again. I lost all of my confidence, girls were rejecting me, the frustration was growing inside of me. In following years (3 and a half) till now I slept with 4 and each time I felt like it was more an accident than something I could control. Even if I tried to behave like in this crazy year, it wasn't the same.
Then I found The Red Pill community in Reddit and it got me here on this forum.
I've already started the transformation. I feel like I discovered the secret of life Now I understand what happened in my past. And I'm eager to learn so much more.
---
DAY 0. Friday, 02.06.2015
I discovered The Red Pill on Reddit in the morning. By the 3PM I was so sucked in that I read almost half of the Book of Pook. Life changer. Enlightening.
In the late evening I decide that reading isn't enough. I should do something RIGHT NOW. I don't feel so secure yet, I guess it all have to sink into me.
So I go out to the pub. Just to have a beer. Alone. Just to enjoy being with myself and not give a single f'ck to other people.
When I arrived the pub was full of people. Well, it was friday night after all. Everybody with friends + one single freaky guy that was nerviously checking out chicks. It took me 20 minutes to get the **** together and throw away the thought that I would look freaky or I don't even know what.
I went in. Noone gave a f'ck about me.
I worked on my posture while standing by the bar. I enjoyed time with myself. I didn't look out desperately for girls, in fact I was feeling I don't need to. The girls was checking me out, one approached me herself (I wasn't interested, I just wanted - genuinly - to be with myself and to digest all the things I've read). I don't think it ever happened to me before to be approached by the girl herself. It felt GOOD.
I drank 3 beers and went home.
Yeah, I really feel the change has started.
---
DAY 1 and 2
Started to work on my body. I ruined it in these last 3 years. I'm skinny, so I begin to work out slowly.
More reading. Forum. Books. "The Tao of Steve".
Also breaking the contact with a girl that clearly was trying to LJBF me. Better start over than fix, isn't it?
PS. forgive me for any grammar errors etc. - English isn't my first language.
Also I want to make this thread my personal journal, write here my field reports and the changes in my life that I started. Maybe someone, sometime will find it useful. Feel free to comment.
But if it doesn't fit this forum - go ahead and remove it or move it to more appropriate subforum - I'm backing it up on my disk for myself. But I hope it won't get removed, because I count on comments later.
Right now I'm almost 27 years old average guy, average looking, average.. everything.
I have experience with women. Still - I feel (felt? Since the "change" has started...
) AFC.To the beginning.
My first serious LTR occured when I was 20. Before that I was pretty frustrated with women, so I started to watch some PUA stuff. That's how I got this woman in my life.
Long story short, I lost my virginity to this girl, then AFC mentality struck me again - and I lost her 2 years later. Pretty normal story that we all know.
After the breakup, something changed. I was angry at women. I just wanted to play. This - somehow - got me to sleep with a lot of them. The year when I was 23 was f'ckin crazy. I didn't care for women to like me. I slept with 15 girls in this one year, most of them was ONSs. It was REALLY unbelieveable for me. Still, I didn't know what caused it. With one girl (8/10) that I slept with I thought she was "the one". You guys recognize it and know what happened next, don't you?
Yep, the "relationship" was over. Oneitis is really bad disease.Then I had to change the place I live in. I lost all my friends I was hanging around before. I lost my social proof. Then, like with the touch of magic wand, I was AFC again. I lost all of my confidence, girls were rejecting me, the frustration was growing inside of me. In following years (3 and a half) till now I slept with 4 and each time I felt like it was more an accident than something I could control. Even if I tried to behave like in this crazy year, it wasn't the same.
Then I found The Red Pill community in Reddit and it got me here on this forum.
I've already started the transformation. I feel like I discovered the secret of life
Now I understand what happened in my past. And I'm eager to learn so much more.---
DAY 0. Friday, 02.06.2015
I discovered The Red Pill on Reddit in the morning. By the 3PM I was so sucked in that I read almost half of the Book of Pook. Life changer. Enlightening.
In the late evening I decide that reading isn't enough. I should do something RIGHT NOW. I don't feel so secure yet, I guess it all have to sink into me.
So I go out to the pub. Just to have a beer. Alone. Just to enjoy being with myself and not give a single f'ck to other people.
When I arrived the pub was full of people. Well, it was friday night after all. Everybody with friends + one single freaky guy that was nerviously checking out chicks. It took me 20 minutes to get the **** together and throw away the thought that I would look freaky or I don't even know what.
I went in. Noone gave a f'ck about me.
I worked on my posture while standing by the bar. I enjoyed time with myself. I didn't look out desperately for girls, in fact I was feeling I don't need to. The girls was checking me out, one approached me herself (I wasn't interested, I just wanted - genuinly - to be with myself and to digest all the things I've read). I don't think it ever happened to me before to be approached by the girl herself. It felt GOOD.
I drank 3 beers and went home.
Yeah, I really feel the change has started.
---
DAY 1 and 2
Started to work on my body. I ruined it in these last 3 years. I'm skinny, so I begin to work out slowly.
More reading. Forum. Books. "The Tao of Steve".
Also breaking the contact with a girl that clearly was trying to LJBF me. Better start over than fix, isn't it?
PS. forgive me for any grammar errors etc. - English isn't my first language.
