Terrible Night

[teddy]

Is it alright if I just give myself a gimme?

Man...I haven't felt this low since before I started coming on these forums. Like I'm feeling that old self-loathing again. Way too outcome-dependent this time and I sensed it and knew it. Lost valuable time and resources.

A gut punch.

 

[YAboi]

take some time off to recharge. and think things through. Going forward relax and have an open mind to the outcome of every interaction. Always remember there are lots of girls and one will eventually bite.

 

[teddy]

I got AW'd to death and I didn't even notice. I invested too much time and resources on a woman who AW'd me. It certainly feels like something material was taken from me and I got nothing in return. It's just disheartening because I thought I would've recognized it by now.

 

[teddy]

Bump. What do you do to rebound from bad nights? I'm just so p!ssed right now that I didn't see it coming even though it was happening right in front of me.

 

[VikingKing]

Take a break from the forum. Don't give up.

 

[Igetit!]

I got AW'd to death and I didn't even notice. I invested too much time and resources on a woman who AW'd me. It certainly feels like something material was taken from me and I got nothing in return. It's just disheartening because I thought I would've recognized it by now.

You got AW'd....

It wasn't the same chick from your "Pretty sure she's attracted, but not sure what my next move is" and "Shows high IL in person...but never wants to meet up" threads.........was it?


The same one who you said you see like once or twice a month at parties?


Hope not. If so,I don't see how that could have happened as much as everyone kept telling you over and over again what it was you were dealing with from the get go.


If you're bummed out,then fine...go be bummed out for a while,but not too long though,cause this really isn't something that should keep a guy down,it's EASY AS SH1T to tell the difference between genuine interest and AW tricks if you know what to look for.

 

[teddy]

You got AW'd....

It wasn't the same chick from your "Pretty sure she's attracted, but not sure what my next move is" and "Shows high IL in person...but never wants to meet up" threads.........was it?


The same one who you said you see like once or twice a month at parties?


Hope not. If so,I don't see how that could have happened as much as everyone kept telling you over and over again what it was you were dealing with from the get go.


If you're bummed out,then fine...go be bummed out for a while,but not too long though,cause this really isn't something that should keep a guy down,it's EASY AS SH1T to tell the difference between genuine interest and AW tricks if you know what to look for.

Not same girl, but a different one that's been hovering around for a while.

I'm just really frustrated that though I've "improved", I'm still not getting much in the way of genuine interest. Maybe it's still just numbers. But still frustrating.

 

[teddy]

I mean, if it's easy to tell the difference like you said, then I find it more disturbing that so far I've been incapable of telling the difference and seem to just attract AWs, no matter how much I relax and go with the flow.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Back when I started reading all this stuff (YEARS ago), I had the same problem. You read some stuff, you feel like you've improved, and then something happens that makes you feel like you're taking steps backwards. We've all been there at some point. Part of it is that, though you've made improvements, you still need to internalize the things you're learning and make them become natural. Until they feel natural, it will be easily read by others - especially women - that you're putting on a facade instead of being your authentic self. But that will come with time.

The second thing is, you have to also become a more confident person. Even when I knew the things I had to do, a part of me still knew that, because I wasn't completely confident in the person I was, I was destined to fail. This has nothing to do about women and everything to do about you - you need to be comfortable with the lifestyle you've chose, the kind of person, you are, the things you like to do, your money situation, etc. All this needs to be in place at a level where you feel confident. See, knowing all the tools to get women is great, but if you're not really comfortable with how you are, all your actions are just going to be used as a way to mask the person you currently are, with the hopes that they won't notice it. But, instinctively, they will.

 

[VikingKing]

I mean, if it's easy to tell the difference like you said, then I find it more disturbing that so far I've been incapable of telling the difference and seem to just attract AWs, no matter how much I relax and go with the flow.

Once you actually meet one that has high interest you will know it, and have that experience for future reference.

 

[teddy]

Back when I started reading all this stuff (YEARS ago), I had the same problem. You read some stuff, you feel like you've improved, and then something happens that makes you feel like you're taking steps backwards. We've all been there at some point. Part of it is that, though you've made improvements, you still need to internalize the things you're learning and make them become natural. Until they feel natural, it will be easily read by others - especially women - that you're putting on a facade instead of being your authentic self. But that will come with time.

The second thing is, you have to also become a more confident person. Even when I knew the things I had to do, a part of me still knew that, because I wasn't completely confident in the person I was, I was destined to fail. This has nothing to do about women and everything to do about you - you need to be comfortable with the lifestyle you've chose, the kind of person, you are, the things you like to do, your money situation, etc. All this needs to be in place at a level where you feel confident. See, knowing all the tools to get women is great, but if you're not really comfortable with how you are, all your actions are just going to be used as a way to mask the person you currently are, with the hopes that they won't notice it. But, instinctively, they will.

I get you, Harry. But it's just frustrating that even if I'm not 100 percent perfect, I still feel like I have it together better than a lot of the deadbeats who not only get women, but get in LTRs with gorgeous, high quality women.

I used to think the difference was just the confidence levels, as you said, but now it's reaching the point where it feels ridiculous that I'm not having some semblance of success.

By the way, I like your site a lot.

 

[JoeMarron]

I get you, Harry. But it's just frustrating that even if I'm not 100 percent perfect, I still feel like I have it together better than a lot of the deadbeats who not only get women, but get in LTRs with gorgeous, high quality women.

I used to think the difference was just the confidence levels, as you said, but now it's reaching the point where it feels ridiculous that I'm not having some semblance of success.

By the way, I like your site a lot.

Yeah it's pretty ridiculous that some of the dumbest dudes who have nothing going for them can score left and right while the intelligent, successful dudes struggle. Don't beat yourself up too much though, for whatever reason some men learned how to relate with women during childhood and others didn't. Guys like us who didn't get it early on may be playing catchup but with a little perserverance, we have the ability to achieve far more success than the deadbeat ever could.

We all have setbacks but it's the things we do after the setback that determines our success. Give yourself time to recover and stop gaming women for a bit. When you do talk to them have no objective in mind besides being social. Catch up on your hobbies, hang out with friends, work out, all the things that make a man attractive. Find something to win in whether it be sports or something as trivial as video games (winning raises testosterone). When you finally get back in the game you'll be refreshed and in a better state of mind. Finally, when in doubt always go back to the fundamentals, the basic things that make a man attractive (fitness, style, body language, social skills, dominant attitude, etc.) and work on those. Every little improvement adds up. Good luck to you man.

 

[teddy]

Yeah it's pretty ridiculous that some of the dumbest dudes who have nothing going for them can score left and right while the intelligent, successful dudes struggle. Don't beat yourself up too much though, for whatever reason some men learned how to relate with women during childhood and others didn't. Guys like us who didn't get it early on may be playing catchup but with a little perserverance, we have the ability to achieve far more success than the deadbeat ever could.

We all have setbacks but it's the things we do after the setback that determines our success. Give yourself time to recover and stop gaming women for a bit. When you do talk to them have no objective in mind besides being social. Catch up on your hobbies, hang out with friends, work out, all the things that make a man attractive. Find something to win in whether it be sports or something as trivial as video games (winning raises testosterone). When you finally get back in the game you'll be refreshed and in a better state of mind. Finally, when in doubt always go back to the fundamentals, the basic things that make a man attractive (fitness, style, body language, social skills, dominant attitude, etc.) and work on those. Every little improvement adds up. Good luck to you man.

Thanks man. I'll be the first to admit I was socially retarded in college (not to mention high school). I got a little better near the end of college, but by then it was too late. Never again would I have such access to women again.

The payoffs are that I have just finished medical school and I've learned to enjoy my time alone.

I am a reasonably social guy now; I get a lot of compliments about that. But time and again I still see these same AWs go ahead and date low-lifes.

You would think the fact that I'm a 25-year-old doctor would boost my stock, but I don't think it really does. I got passed over by a woman for a community college dropout. That has nothing to do with the kind of guy he is, but I'm just trying to point out it's not always the career. So while I'm glad that I can say I feel like I've accomplished something for myself in my life, it's just frustrating that these things keep happening.

I was talking to this gorgeous woman, very sociable, smart, seemed to like me a bit because she was touching me a lot....but she's dating an unemployed, high school-graduate who is sitting at home and playing computer games (she told me exactly that). Tried to escalate with her and was shut down.

I mean, I like computer games and everything...but come on.

It gets to the point where it's always yet another thing I have to "work on" to get some pvssy. At this rate, it's like I apparently have to be perfect just to have a frickin chance, while everyone else can just walk around and get what they want.

 

[teddy]

That's why I'm thinking that maybe it's just a numbers game at this point.

 

[MOTU]

I get you, Harry. But it's just frustrating that even if I'm not 100 percent perfect, I still feel like I have it together better than a lot of the deadbeats who not only get women, but get in LTRs with gorgeous, high quality women.

Are you sure these women are high quality? Maybe it appears that way from outside the relationship but those guys might be the next newbies in here posting "help I just got dumped by a hottie who drained all my resources first".

 

[teddy]

Are you sure these women are high quality? Maybe it appears that way from outside the relationship but those guys might be the next newbies in here posting "help I just got dumped by a hottie who drained all my resources first".

You might be right. But if you're not, it would be one of the greatest tragedies. People not realizing that they could do better, not waking up. That might just be human nature, for whatever reason.

 

[Yo'Mama]

You might be right. But if you're not, it would be one of the greatest tragedies. People not realizing that they could do better, not waking up. That might just be human nature, for whatever reason.

I feel the same way you do. It's ridiculous but that's just how it is. I think the whole professionals (in particular doctors) get laid thing is something of a myth. When I tell girls I'm a lawyer, the reaction is always the same. They are impressed by it or at least they pretend to be impressed by it. But they're just going through the motions of being impressed, it doesn't trigger the tingle. Just my view anyway. I'm not saying you can't get laid a lot if you're a doctor or lawyer, just that it won't be because you are a doctor or lawyer!

 

[GotED?]

Success in life is about taking calculated RISKS (without 'calculated' you are just a moron getting AIDS sooner or later, as an example).

Being successful with women is the same - get used to taking calculated RISKS, and getting REJECTED.

Quicker you get used to it, the quicker you will SUCCEED.

Simple algebra.

Exodus

 

[JoeMarron]

I honestly think it's all about game and to a lesser degree looks. There's simply too many stories of broke, deadbeat, banes of society getting laid by hot chicks to warrant the claim that money/career equals success with women. Sure in the long term that stuff will be important but at the end of the day it's all about what emotions we can evoke in a woman, game is the tool to evoke the right kind of emotions. The problem is when most dudes think of game they think of silly PUA tricks and tactics. Game is really just communication skills, things like body language, charm, charisma, social skills, conversation skills, etc. This stuff can't be taught, that's why the DJ Bible emphasizes going out so much. The only way to truly master it is to continually socialize until the skills become natural. So yeah teddy I'd agree with you that it is a numbers game. Spend enough time in the social arena, observe the naturals, keep going on dates, keep practicing what you learn and eventually you'll find success.

Success in life is about taking calculated RISKS (without 'calculated' you are just a moron getting AIDS sooner or later, as an example).

Being successful with women is the same - get used to taking calculated RISKS, and getting REJECTED.

Quicker you get used to it, the quicker you will SUCCEED.

Simple algebra.

Exodus

Agreed. With enough persistence it's mathematically impossible not to succeed. Sure depending on the situation it might happen sooner or alot longer for some men but it'll eventually happen.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You can't look at other peoples' lives from the outside and pretend to know what is really going on with them. It's naive to think that someone is happy just because they look like they are or because they have a hot wife. The biggest reason to not compare yourself to other people is that you probably don't know the whole picture about them, but you already know everything bad about yourself. Who do think is going to win that comparison?