Hi , i am new here and i enjoy the site and advice here.. I work with a very beautiful woman who i found out liked me alot. she is also very cool and never *****y. so i played it perfectly and let her chase me for a while and it worked. she would seek me out where ever i was to talk to me. then she said we should hang out after work.. i felt like a king, it couldnt be going any better because i played it cool and she didnt think i liked her , than she said we should hang out after work . the 1st time was innocent and then 1 night she said we should go to her place after work. i said sure and we went back and i was exited and nervous. after a little while the time was just right and i could tell she got very close and wanted to be kissed. i went in for that 1st kiss and it felt good ffor a second or to and she actually slipped her tonguue 1st ,, i then made a mistake and pulled back and started to suck on her tongue, she didnt seem to like it and instead of locking lips again i started kissing her very lightly on her neck and she really seemed she wanted me to be more aggresive and i choked and got to nervous and didnt follow up, then a couple of minutes later she said she didnt feel good and i should go home,,, just 10 minutes before she said i could stay over !! i made a rookie mistake and deliverd a horrible 1st kiss and didnt even use my hands to touch her body , she must have felt like i was going to be a bad lover if i couldnt even kiss her right,,,,,,, ever since that night she hasnt been acting the same and she seems distant ,,, she is still nice but know acts more like a friend,,,,,, i went up to her and said i cant wait to be alone with her again because i am going to be more aggresive and cant wait to touch and kiss her all over,,,,,, she still hasnt given me a 2nd chance and i think im doomed. should i chase her or let it be,,,,,, i am still confident she is attracted to me but that 1st sexual impression seems tough to overcome ,, sorry for the long post ,, but i could use some help ,,,,,,,,,,, thanks
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
TERRIBLE 1st kiss ,,,,, what to do
- Thread starter figman
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
Damn, I'm susprised she shot you down like that... I would just let her be for awhile and let her pursue you still. In the mean time; flirt with other girls around her to make her jealous of you. You might find a new girl anyways...
Treat b!tches like b!tches. You should have banged the sh!t out of her.
However you should never let a b!tch disrespect you like that. It was a mistake that you said "I hope we'll get some alone time soon". Makes you look weak in her eyes.
Next her and find a b!tch that appreciates and worships you.
Don't make a big deal out this. Keep on trucking bro...
However you should never let a b!tch disrespect you like that. It was a mistake that you said "I hope we'll get some alone time soon". Makes you look weak in her eyes.
Next her and find a b!tch that appreciates and worships you.
Don't make a big deal out this. Keep on trucking bro...
yeah, I think I have to agree. A lot of girls are really screwed up in the head: They demand that a man lead things (which is natural), but if the guy leads in a way which is somehow not to their liking, they freak out and don't even give him a chance to adapt. There's just very little way to win in a situation like that. I'd find someone who isn't so uptight and full of herself, at least for the time being.
and kissing on the neck isn't particularly passive, especially if you do it right. If the girl isn't a very hard-core kisser, sometimes I'd rather just focus on the neck myself because the mouth-to-mouth ones can get boring.
and kissing on the neck isn't particularly passive, especially if you do it right. If the girl isn't a very hard-core kisser, sometimes I'd rather just focus on the neck myself because the mouth-to-mouth ones can get boring.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
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Really, you might have just made it seem awkward. The way you kissed didn't seem that weird, but choking up was your main problem.
The sucking tongue accident could have been played off real slick. You could have pulled back and winked at her or just smiled suggestively then proceeded to make out some more. You probably messed up there not with the sucking her tongue part but the acting all awkward as if it were a mistake.
The sucking tongue accident could have been played off real slick. You could have pulled back and winked at her or just smiled suggestively then proceeded to make out some more. You probably messed up there not with the sucking her tongue part but the acting all awkward as if it were a mistake.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
your awkwardness killed it.
attraction peeeeoooooou down down down.
she thought you were smooth and the man. and when you got awkward... OMG how can he be awkward? i thought he was tha man. i feel sick.
It might not be lost though. I would suggest being upfront. just say you were nervous. she'll ask why? and just say that she's different from the other girls. and then say no more.
if you get another chance...do not be awkward.
awkward is the surest quickest way to lose ALL attraction.
I've choked too... in my younger days. Got them all the way to the bedroom and then been like hmmm i did it i did it. haa haa! and then they're like; but i thought you were don juan?... nope, first time, so where do i stick this thing anyway
haa haa haa haa
attraction peeeeoooooou down down down.
she thought you were smooth and the man. and when you got awkward... OMG how can he be awkward? i thought he was tha man. i feel sick.
It might not be lost though. I would suggest being upfront. just say you were nervous. she'll ask why? and just say that she's different from the other girls. and then say no more.
if you get another chance...do not be awkward.
awkward is the surest quickest way to lose ALL attraction.
I've choked too... in my younger days. Got them all the way to the bedroom and then been like hmmm i did it i did it. haa haa! and then they're like; but i thought you were don juan?... nope, first time, so where do i stick this thing anyway
haa haa haa haaI think i am going to still act nice to her,, because we work together , but i am going to move on to next one ,i have one in mind , not as good looking but she is fun ,,,,, should i bring it up that i have another girl that i am going to spend more time with or dont bother ,i still want the 1st girl , would it make her jelous ?thanks
nismo-4
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Sh*t happens.
You ARE doomed.
That choke and awkwardness is what ended that attraction faster than Milli Vanilli's career.
For a good first kiss, don't think of anything funny. It'll cause you to aim your kiss wrong.
Lesson learned. Don't cry over this little sh*t, and remember this for the next time it happens!
You ARE doomed.
That choke and awkwardness is what ended that attraction faster than Milli Vanilli's career.
For a good first kiss, don't think of anything funny. It'll cause you to aim your kiss wrong.
Lesson learned. Don't cry over this little sh*t, and remember this for the next time it happens!
no, don't play games. saying that would be stupid, not to mention transparent
And honestly, you said this girl was real cool and all, but if she bails on you SUDDENLY and DISRESPECTFULLY just because you have a brief awkward moment, I'd be pretty annoyed with her. You say you still want her, but you maybe you shouldn't. She sounds bad for you. As I said, she's really uptight and full of herself; making you leave over it was a seriously b1tchy move. I'd say she blew it, not you. Don't put up with crap from these broads.
Obsidian nailed it dude.
Unless youre leaving something out.
Asking you to leave from what you described is just ridiculously cruel. Sure you were awkward, but if she was as into you as she lead on then she would have easily overlooked it a little or atleast given you a chance to get her going again.
Also.. just remember this dude. When a girl rejects you like that, ie being a ***** and disrespecting you, you may feel a tinge of emotion leaning towards "I want to win her back" etc. If you can realize that she is a b1tch for acting like this, and that only your emotions are leading you to think you still want her, you can overcome it and get over her alot quicker.
You need to rationally believe that you never want to have alone time with her again. Why? Because what she did is not how a DJ would accept being treated. Unless she gets down on both knees and begs you to take her back you need to forget about her. Just next her. Don't try to make her jealous because that means you're not over her.
Unless youre leaving something out.
Asking you to leave from what you described is just ridiculously cruel. Sure you were awkward, but if she was as into you as she lead on then she would have easily overlooked it a little or atleast given you a chance to get her going again.
Also.. just remember this dude. When a girl rejects you like that, ie being a ***** and disrespecting you, you may feel a tinge of emotion leaning towards "I want to win her back" etc. If you can realize that she is a b1tch for acting like this, and that only your emotions are leading you to think you still want her, you can overcome it and get over her alot quicker.
You need to rationally believe that you never want to have alone time with her again. Why? Because what she did is not how a DJ would accept being treated. Unless she gets down on both knees and begs you to take her back you need to forget about her. Just next her. Don't try to make her jealous because that means you're not over her.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.