Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Ten Rules for Virgin Living
#1 - Sex is a really, really big deal. Your first sexual experience will define you for the rest of your life, so everything must be perfect. Since it never will be perfect, you can always use this excuse to wait just a little bit longer.
#2 - Words mean everything. Lay all your feelings out there first. Then take every word of hers as the logical and literal truth. If you tell her how you feel, then she will tell you how she feels. It's easy!
#3 - Women are holy...or at least parts of them are. Realize that you have no value in comparison. Bow down and worship every woman who comes near you. Eventually, one of them may take pity on you and let you stay around for a while. That's if you're lucky.
#4 - Alcohol is the devil. If you have sex with a woman who has had alcohol, that makes *you* the devil.
#5 - A girl's level of attraction to you will never change. Women's emotions are pillars of stability. Construct your future around the premise that she will never change her mind about anything.
#6 - When one girl rejects you, hold your anger inside until you can re-direct it at some other girl that you have not yet met.
#7 - Every guy who gets laid must have the perfect life. Lack of sex is the source of all your problems. Do not think of it as the result of all your problems, or else that would lead you toward having to start fixing those problems, and that's too much work.
#8 - Risk, adventure, fun...all of that is overrated. Structure your life to avoid risk as much as possible.
#9 - Women have cooties. But only if they've done icky stuff with other guys, like holding hands. Only date girls who have never touched another guy or were raised by wolves.
#10 - People love to hear you b!tch about life, especially women. The world is one giant conspiracy against you...no one else, just you. Be a negative person who constantly complains.
#1 - Sex is a really, really big deal. Your first sexual experience will define you for the rest of your life, so everything must be perfect. Since it never will be perfect, you can always use this excuse to wait just a little bit longer.
#2 - Words mean everything. Lay all your feelings out there first. Then take every word of hers as the logical and literal truth. If you tell her how you feel, then she will tell you how she feels. It's easy!
#3 - Women are holy...or at least parts of them are. Realize that you have no value in comparison. Bow down and worship every woman who comes near you. Eventually, one of them may take pity on you and let you stay around for a while. That's if you're lucky.
#4 - Alcohol is the devil. If you have sex with a woman who has had alcohol, that makes *you* the devil.
#5 - A girl's level of attraction to you will never change. Women's emotions are pillars of stability. Construct your future around the premise that she will never change her mind about anything.
#6 - When one girl rejects you, hold your anger inside until you can re-direct it at some other girl that you have not yet met.
#7 - Every guy who gets laid must have the perfect life. Lack of sex is the source of all your problems. Do not think of it as the result of all your problems, or else that would lead you toward having to start fixing those problems, and that's too much work.
#8 - Risk, adventure, fun...all of that is overrated. Structure your life to avoid risk as much as possible.
#9 - Women have cooties. But only if they've done icky stuff with other guys, like holding hands. Only date girls who have never touched another guy or were raised by wolves.
#10 - People love to hear you b!tch about life, especially women. The world is one giant conspiracy against you...no one else, just you. Be a negative person who constantly complains.