"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Telling her not to flake?

Phyzzle

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Have any of you tried telling a chick not to flake on you when you ask her out?

I know it sounds completely crazy, but I just noticed that both David D'Angelo and Dennis Neder, but really good writers whose opinions I respect, insist on doing this.

When they call to set something up, they're like:

"By the way, are you absolutely sure you're not going to have some 'emergency' come up on that date? If you think you will, let me know now because my time is valuable."

It seems to me that you are telling the chick that other chicks flake on you: not the kind of thing she should know!

It also seems that she'll flake anyways. Does telling her not to change the way she feels?

Have any of you tried this?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Don't ask out women with questionable integrity and it won't be an issue.
 

SamePendo

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Thinking about this, it sounds weak, if you say it, just do and that's it.

Instead, and don't get offended.. get a life! Be truly busy! Make your time truly valuable, if she's late, go and do your things. That will make you even more of a man than you are now. A man can say "zippi dee doo daa" and remains king. A buffon says "zippi dee doo daa" and remains a buffon.
 

typical

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Nah bro dont say something like that, just ask them out and if they flake move on, I think I handle like 2 flakes from a girl and after that I move on.
 

blueguy

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It's a bad thing to say. Why? Because you're saying you've been flaked on before and because you're placing too much investment in her before you know her. She'll have even less respect for you later on which is the opposite of what you're trying to achieve. If she flakes, who cares anyway? There's a reason she did. She's not yours. It helps you weed out the bad ones.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Phyzzle

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Yeah, that's what I figured.

It's just that I've learned that women don't make sense, and what "obviously won't work" often does.

But I'm glad you guys agree. Pressure doesn't raise interest level. I think both of those writers are experienced in the field, but they let their aggrivation get to them when they gave that advice.
 

blueguy

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Phyzzle said:
"By the way, are you absolutely sure you're not going to have some 'emergency' come up on that date? If you think you will, let me know now because my time is valuable."
I didn't read that part either... I can't believe D'Angelo gave that advice. That goes against some of his other stuff doesn't it? Sometimes it makes you wonder how many chicks he actually pulls? I'm sure girls can read through that BS. I think the general consesus is that you act valuable... not tell her you are valuable. :p They never buy the overt stuff... but they go crazy over the covert stuff. You can really fvck their minds around if you want to.
 

Phyzzle

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DarthJuan

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I did that once.
I made a humorous jibe at a girl I was dating about her being a little flakey. She kept being real wishy-washy about another date we were planning to go on.

She took real offense to the comment.

We did end up going out again, so I guess it works.

But you gotta have some pretty good rapport with her, to reframe her if she responds with a negative reaction.
No matter how flakey or phony a chic is...they all think they aren't flakey or phoney. That's what they call other girls they hate...so they can be offended by you calling them that.

It's a dicey move if you ask me. But I'm pretty ****y with this girl, so it's congruous with who I am to her. I'm pretty harsh on her and don't let her weasle out of any shyt she pulls.
 

Hitman10000

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Phyzzle said:
Yeah, that's what I figured.

It's just that I've learned that women don't make sense, and what "obviously won't work" often does.

But I'm glad you guys agree. Pressure doesn't raise interest level. I think both of those writers are experienced in the field, but they let their aggrivation get to them when they gave that advice.
Where is YOUR PROOF that these "writers" say what you said. If you're going to talk out of your ass, at least have some validity (such as his actual name being credited.)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Phyzzle

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