Telling a woman on the first date that you date multiple women.

[T-Mack]

This was a short dinner date that lasted under a hour because I had to go to class. I told the above "title of this thread" to a girl on the first date because I am in fact going on dates with multiple women.

She didn't seem to like it. I didn't really explain it that well to her. What I meant to say is that I date multiple women only up to a certain point where I decide to be exclusive with one person. To her, I think she just processed.. "wow, this guy is a player and a @sshole".

Any thoughts on this or similar experiences? I live in a small city and everyone is connected in some way. I figured it be better to tell her this info from the start.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

It's not as bad as being AFC, but it is so much better for her to THINK you can and are dating other women.

When you come out and say it, logic kicks in, and when women are thinking of you with their logical mind, game over.

 

[WC2]

Actions, not words my friend.

Plus, why are you telling another woman you're dating other women? Did she ask you?

It sounds to me like you just laid it out on the table without question.

Women work on emotions, not logic. YES, sometimes women become interested when they see a man is dating multiple women. NO, women don't want a man to tell them this.

You see, emotions are sparked by action. Logic sparked by words.

You can sit at a table and brag all you want about how big your c0ck is or how successful you are, but women aren't really interested until they see some action. It's only human.

If a woman came to the table and told you that she's dating multiple men, would that turn you on? Would that make you jealous?

However if a woman you were attracted to was flirting with another man close to you, would that make you jealous? More than likely.

Think about it.

 

[xdreamz]

this is definitely in the "things not to do" zone.. guys that show off in order to gain a woman's affections is a turn off. even though you have the right idea, you are too show-offy by telling her this bluntly. real guys that date multiple women don't tell women that they're dating multiple women, but it could be read by other things that they do or say...so you have to be more subtle or at least try to say it a little more indirectly.

 

[WaterTiger]

You can relay the information, just SAY it differently.

Let's say you sell real estate and you have this house. Now do you tell the potential buyers:
"This is a rundown rat-trap with tons of repairs to do."

NO! You tell them:
"This is a great little fix-er-upper with tons of potential for a dream house!"

So instead of telling the woman:"Yeah, I date a lot of chicks, but nobody owns THIS wild stallion!"

Tell her: "I'm looking for a very special woman and I'll be exclusive when I find her."

This leaves you with "wiggle room".

1-She has to qualify herself as a "very special woman."
2-You won't be exclusive till she proves herself (if ever!)
3-You never be clear at what the qualifications ARE, so you're always free to date others.

It's ALL about salesmanship!

 

[jophil28]

Did she ask you about other women or did you fall for that BS belief that just telling a woman that you see others will amp up her IL?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Noooooooooooo! You are just asking for your life to become more complicated when you start giving away this type of information freely. That is almost as bad as you going out of your way, when not asked, and telling her how many sexual partners you've had.

Even if she had asked you directly, you want to make sure your first response is somewhat vague, yet communicates that you have your choice of women and will not settle for just anyone; but that's a whole other topic in itself and another day's discussion.

 

[Allurre]

There's really not a problem with disclosing that you've dating multiple women; the key is to NOT communicate that you DATE multiple women AT ONCE.

 

[Darth]

This falls under the category of things that should be implied and not actually stated.

On a similar note, I went to a football game last weekend and I was sitting behind a guy and a girl. As I listened to them, it seemed like they weren't very familiar with each other, that this was a first date.

I got a big kick the more I listened to the guy because he sounded exactly like someone who had gone on the internet and looked up how to act with women (which we all have done at some time, obviously). He was being a real hot shot, and it seemed phony to me, but the girl was eating it up.

Then, he loudly said something along the lines of, "You better get used to me. This is the way I am! I don't put up with any of your sh!t."

And I turned around and smiled. He blew it.

It's the same thing. Never say something that can be implied instead. It sounds weak, insecure, and "trying too hard."

Hope that made sense.

 

[T-Mack]

Thanks for the advice guys. I knew it wasn't a good thing to say.

Is there any way I can recover from this or is it a lost cause? I'm going with move on and never say it again.

 

[Frank_Tartaglia]

This certainly isn't a lost cause yet, but you have hurt yourself a little. I would advise you to not bring this point up again independently. If she asks however it might be best to give a somewhat cagey answer. You don't want to give to many details, ex. one of those other women LJBFing you.