Telling a girl your shy

[Dman101]

Is it ever ok to tell a girl that your'e shy? I've been on 3 dates with a girl I met on facebook 2 years ago who reinitiated contact with me. First date we go bowling have fun talk, 2nd date go to the movies i touch her leg during the movie no kiss, we go back to my house after watch some tv, no contact, hug at the end. Third date she texts me and invites me over for dinner, we talk have a drink, go watch a movie in her bed, I hold her, but no kiss no nothing. After she changed the movie, she sat str8 up so I couldnt hold her no more, so I got into my head and lost the vibe. I've lost my esclation skills and confidence, and have been very nervous around her, yet she still texts me and seems interested. I know I'm not communicating too well with her because of my anxiety and lack of things to say, but I really like this girl for some reason, shes beautiful and seems like a really nice girl.

One of my female friends who has been helping me told me its bad that I haven't kissed her or made a move but that she probably likes you despite your awkwardness. She told me maybe I should tell her the truth and text her saying something like hey i duno if you've noticed but I'm a little shy but I like you. What do you guys think of this.

 

[EFFORT]

Just make a move, no need to tell her your shy.

 

[Don Israel]

well..if you REALLY have this need to tell her that your'e shy, just tell her that you 'sometimes get shy'.

If you tell her directly that your a shy person, it might reduce her perception of you as man.(note: some shy people can still be confident/manly regarless of the fact.

 

[Igetit!]

Is it ever ok to tell a girl that your'e shy?

No. "Shy" is really just another word for being scared "socially".

So would you ever tell a girl you're scared or afraid of anything? Of course not.

I've been on 3 dates with a girl I met on facebook 2 years ago who reinitiated contact with me. First date we go bowling have fun talk, 2nd date go to the movies i touch her leg during the movie no kiss, we go back to my house after watch some tv, no contact, hug at the end. Third date she texts me and invites me over for dinner, we talk have a drink, go watch a movie in her bed, I hold her, but no kiss no nothing.

So you've had three dates with basically no contact. Well after that,I don't think there's any need to tell her you're shy,I'm sure she figured that out on her own.

One of my female friends who has been helping me told me its bad that I haven't kissed her or made a move but that she probably likes you despite your awkwardness.

Surprisingly,your friend is right...well,at least about this part. It is bad you haven't kissed her,or at least tried.




The WHOLE POINT of a man and a woman dating is sexuality.
You take that part out,then what's the point? You might as well just be friends.



You not making a move on her is telling her a WHOLE LOT MORE about yourself than you realize,and it's NOT GOOD.

She told me maybe I should tell her the truth and text her saying something like hey i duno if you've noticed but I'm a little shy but I like you. What do you guys think of this.

Don't listen to your friend about telling her you're shy. The answer is simple...MAKE A MOVE.



Not blatantly or out of the blue,but in situations like the one you previously had were you failed to do something.




I don't know what you're scared of,I mean you've had three dates with her plus she reinitiated contact with you.


What else does she have to do to let you know she interested in you?



You better do something soon,or all the shyness,nervousness,and anxiety WILL TURN HER OFF.

 

[Dman101]

Yes, I know I absolutely need to make a move. The thing is I've had a crush on her for 2 years and it just surprised me that she reinitiated contact and asked me to hang out. Can someone give me a plan for how to step by step seduce her. I'm thinking the next time I'll cook for her, and have some good movies to watch and drink before she gets here. From that point, what do I need to do to get her sexually. Also, what types of things should I be talking to her about because it seems like I talk about the same bs (school, family, what we did last week, and things from 3 or 4 yrs ago when I was in school since I've become a loser after college) with her and I look nervous around her. I appreciate the advice

 

[Igetit!]

Yes, I know I absolutely need to make a move. The thing is I've had a crush on her for 2 years and it just surprised me that she reinitiated contact and asked me to hang out.

You better kill this.

For some reason.I smell insecurity here. You're acting like,"Me! She asked ME to hang out!!! But why? What does she see in me?". It's like you think you aren't worthy to have such a beautiful girl as this interested in you or something.

You better fix that...and SOON.

Can someone give me a plan for how to step by step seduce her. I'm thinking the next time I'll cook for her, and have some good movies to watch and drink before she gets here.

I COMPLETELY do not understand why you'rre asking for some "plan" to seduce her. You've had THREE DATES with her. So obviously,whatever it is you're currently doing right now is enough to make her want to see you again...and again.


You've been successful thus far with whatever you're doing now,but for some reason,you want the forum to come up with something else for you to do...to make her interested...which she ALREADY is.

From that point, what do I need to do to get her sexually.

Do WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING...only the next time you two are alone,kiss her. You know you're starting to border on "Let's just be friends" territory,right?

Also, what types of things should I be talking to her about because it seems like I talk about the same bs (school, family, what we did last week, and things from 3 or 4 yrs ago when I was in school since I've become a loser..

The part I underlined seems to be your problem.

You called yourself "a loser". And aparrently,you really believe that,and since you believe it,it's coming through your behaviors.


Is that why you haven't made a move yet,because you think you're a loser,and you think she thinks (or will think) you are one too?



If so,then NO ADVICE HERE will help you out. What's in a person will ALWAYS SHINE OUT OF THEM.




If you think you're a loser,that will shine out of you,and sooner or later,this girl will see it and be turned off.

 

[playerone]

You're the man. Get her to cook for you. Tease her. Be ****y and funny.

Don't touch her leg. Start with placing your arm around her shoulder, then take it off and do it again. Do playful kino first, to get her comfortable, like tickling her. Touching her leg is more of sexual kino. Follow the A.C.S rule; Attraction --> Comfort --> Seduction. Right now you're working on comfort, and you have to be comfortable with yourself to begin with.

Find your strengths and work on your weaknesses. The man who hunts lions, swims across rivers, not afraid to voice his opinions, does what he does seeking no one's approval, that's YOU.

When you hang out with her, you just simply HANG OUT. Don't think about having sex with her. Just have fun.

And listen to Igetit!'s advice.

Keep us posted.

 

[Dman101]

Thanks for the advice.... I know I have some deep issues like I get so into my head that I cant even hold a conversation sometime. I think with her, I"m getting by on the fact taht I'm tall and good looking and a little funny, but I know I've been real awkward and had bad convos with her. Any advice on material I can use to help sort this out