"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Tell her or not??

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gray_fox_9

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So I've been talking to this girl online and on the phone now for about 6 months. This whole time she has always asked me how many girls I have been with and I would just tell her she didn't need to know. The thing is that I'm really a virgin and she doesn't know it. Well she is supposed to be coming to see me in like a week or two and I'm wondering if I should tell her now, tell her when she gets here or just don't tell her at all and let her find out herself.....Any help is appreciated...Thanks!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Tazman

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I'm a virgin myself man, but I plan to keep it to myself. When I get the opportunity (which I know is going to happen) I'm just going to "go for it." I'm not going to do anything majorly aggressive, but I'm not going to hesitate in making it an enjoyable event for us both.

If I were you, I wouldn't bother saying anything because it may cause her to see you in a different light. Just do it, and if she asks you afterwards you can say something like you've only done it a couple times or whatever, make something up. Just don't give her the impression that you're nervous or make a big deal out of it.
 
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gray_fox_9

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Yeah thats what I figured that I would do but it just gets harder and harder everytime I talk to her on the phone. Sometimes when we are talking "sexy" I seem to run out of things to say....Anyone have any tips for me on this too???? Thanks!
 
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pressure0354

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Yeah I was a virgin til a few months ago. I lost it with this great girl and we talked and she said she lost it at "19". Me being 21 and kind of intimidated at that I said at "19" also. Later she turned out to be my girlfriend and jsut recently I told her. She said she always thought of me to be a pimp but now shes likes me even more knowing that I'm not like that. It all depends on the type of girl your dealing with.

I can totally understand where your coming from. Its about trust, if you honestly dont feel you can trust her don't bother.

A few things to keep in mind are that sometimes girls are unpredictable with that information.

some things:

I know some girls who won't even date virgins (these ones tend to be *****es). One dumped the guy after he told her (she was hot but a total arrogant *****)

Sometimes girls are a little freaked out abnd uncomfortable if they know that they are going to be the first ones.

on a positive note:

Some girls respect and actually find it sexy that a guy isnt so easy to fyck every girl he can.

If she likes you enough, she won't care.




Overall I think you should just play it safe. Tease about her first time and if she asks you just say its a secret and smile. Let her imagination work.

I personally don't really know how to talk sexy. I just think talking lines is cheesy and id probably just end up laughing at myself. I usually just grab my girl around the waste and say "you look great tonight". Touching is better than words. Keep her smiling and touch her when you can and you will be alright.

Good luck man. You got nothing to worry about.

:p
 
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TillTheEndOfTime

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If a woman dumps you or makes a big deal (in a bad way) about you being a virgin, then she's a wh0re. Period.

Real woman are not supposed to have sex on the mind and are not supposed to value it above a relationship. Having sex on the mind and valuing it above a relationship is the mentality of either a man, or a wh0re, never a woman. Hell most men are not that one-dimensional.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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gray_fox_9

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Hey guys thanks for the great advice. This girl is great but I'm afraid of what she will say if I tell her that I'm a virgin. I think she would find it sexy like one of you guys said but then again she might also be nervous with her being my first. I think I'll just play it cool for now and pretend I'm not a virgin. And as for talking sexy I really have to get her thinking about sex because she lives in the States and I'm over in Germany. Kinda hard to get the touching thing going when she is hundreds of miles away...haha.... But thanks again guys!
 
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nonstop

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I wouldn't tell her.

If you're getting dirty on the phone search the net for some erotic stories. That's porn for women.
 
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gray_fox_9

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Hey nonstop thats a great idea! I just don't wanna go overboard with the dirty stories cuz we are supposedly just "friends." Except for the fact that she tells me everything she is going to do to me when she gets here and I tell her what I'm going to do to her right back. Another question for you guys....When do you know to stop teasing her and actually give her what she wants? I'm insanely good at teasing her but I can only hold out for so long.....haha....Thanks guys....:)
 
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nonstop

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that's difficult to answer because it will depend on the woman.

try and keep it going for as long as possible until you think she might start getting pissed off.

if she's really into you that will be a long time.
 
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GrimPhallic

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greyfox I will give you the best advice you ever had, and I am sure all of us who are not virgins will agree... WATCH PORN!!! You will learn alot from it. Well I guess if you are 21 and still a virgin, you have probably wathced alot of porn already, but seriously, study it this time, and you will suprise yourself...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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gray_fox_9

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GrimPhallic, yes that is good advice and thats exactly what I have been doing. But its hard to tell what a girl would actually like because I think most porn is faked obviously. But yeah I've seen my fair share of porns and I try to learn as much as I can from them. Thanks for all the help guys!
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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Originally posted by gray_fox_9
... it just gets harder and harder everytime I talk to her on the phone. ...sometimes when we are talking "sexy" ...
Click to expand...
Your wee wee is getting harder because you are getting excited from the hor/"sexy" talk!:rolleyes:



Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
If a woman dumps you or makes a big deal (in a bad way) about you being a virgin, then she's a wh0re. Period.

Real woman are not supposed to have sex on the mind and are not supposed to value it above a relationship. Having sex on the mind and valuing it above a relationship is the mentality of either a man, or a wh0re, never a woman. Hell most men are not that one-dimensional.
Click to expand...
That's the truth!
 
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