Tell her I cheated, or never speak of it?

[LostInBoston]

Here's the background story:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185981

TLDR:
Cheated on girlfriend with random hookup on vacation while extremely drunk
Realized i NEVER want to do it again and actually love my relationship
Am completely torn between acting like nothing happened and flat out telling her.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

4.) Grow balls and make your own decision.

 

[LostInBoston]

4.) Grow balls and make your own decision.

Good, i like to hear that :kick:

 

[Iceberg]

I don't see the point in telling her. Just don't do it again.

What....you think it makes you "honorable" to make a confession? People make mistakes. Leave it at that.

 

[Orchard]

Well it depends really. Do you want to tell her because you really feel that she should know, or do you want to say something so that you can transfer the guilt and other negative emotions onto her? If you simply want to feel better and remove this weight from your shoulders, at her expense, then I wouldn't recomend it. Because then she'll feel really bad and see that you're feeling better because of the revalation and most likely she'll resent you for that.

Since you claim this was a one off sort of deal, and that you now want to re-commit to the relationship I'd say go ahead and take your little secret to the grave.

 

[Biggie]

Don't tell her. Let me tell you my experience. My girlfriend and I took a break for 2 weeks, and in that 2 weeks i made out with, not even had sex with, but made out with a girl. When we got back together i thought i should do the right thing and tell her. So i told her, she bawled her eyes out, and for the next few months of our relationship she kept bringing it up saying how she couldn't trust me and said i cheated on her. That's all i ever heard from then on and it bugged the hell out of me. I was was like look, either forgive me and we can move on, or we need to break up. I'm not gonna spend every day with her *****ing at me for something she supposedly forgave me for. Just don't do it again.

 

[Warrior74]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJCiJC2MM5Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g5Hz17C4is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2VBmHOYpV8

in other words. lie by omission. Discussing it will only suck. If you love her, lie to her.

 

[Groovy]

Relationships need to be based on trust and respect one another. I can not even imagine another thing. You two are supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. That is the relationship between you two. Do you allow lies in something IMPORTANT like that? If you don't tell her, you aren't boyfriend and girlfriend IMO, you are just too guys ****ing each other, you are there to please her and then she allows you to enter her *****. Is she there just so you can please her, or help you become a better person too? You need to come clean IMO. I am not saying I am right, or wrong. It's my opinion, just that, and that is what I would absolutely do. The damage can be repaired IMO, and it will become even a better relationship. What, are you now scared? Scared that you are going to loose her? You say you think you messed up. Then you would benefit from her support, or not?

IMO, if you don't tell her because "it will only make things worse", this shows a extreme lack of confidence. If you think you are a good catch, once again, IMO, you should be able to tell her. What is there to fear? There is fear but there must also be confidence...

Once again this is just my opinion, so if you disagree, so be it. But I think any other thing would be extremely immoral. I am having a hard time seeing otherwise, I haven't read the other thread tho or the videos.

What....you think it makes you "honorable" to make a confession?.

Absolutley.

 

[Desdinova]

We all need to learn from our mistakes. You've obviously learned from cheating on her and you're going to use this experience to make your relationship better, which will in turn benefit her. Telling her you cheated will make your relationship worse and won't benefit her in any way.

 

[jammy1257]

I say lie to her and if she ever finds out somehow, just say that you cared for her feelings and appreciate the relationship you both have that's why you didn't want to ruin it by telling her.

 

[Jaylan]

We all need to learn from our mistakes. You've obviously learned from cheating on her and you're going to use this experience to make your relationship better, which will in turn benefit her. Telling her you cheated will make your relationship worse and won't benefit her in any way.

Actually hes the only one who truly benefits from his selfishness. She gets to stay with a guy who doesnt really respect her imo. Id say its better for her and him in the long run if he fessed up. If they break up they both find partners they are more suited for. Hell they are only 20.

Would any of you like a woman who did this to you?

 

[Alle_Gory]

If you care about her and you want to pursue a relationship then don't tell her a thing. Carry it with you to the grave.

If you're a sleazy piece of **** and this is the kind of thing you do regularly then you shouldn't be in a relationship. Everyone makes mistakes, and I hope that it was just that because no one deserves to be cheated on if they're faithful. Would you want her to cheat on you? Well, it doesn't really matter now since you're not that faithful to her.

Fix your defect.

 

[garruk]

dont tell her if you care. alle gory is right.

i made that mistake before and it destroyed the relationship, at a speed you wouldnt believe.

 

[Pair A Dice]

1. Keep it on the DL
2. Bang her mom

Tell her after you accomplish 2.

 

[Angelo]

People are already discussing this on that other thread so why make another one...? Because of a poll? LOL. Mods?