techniques for getting over her?

[coin]

I keep telling myself to forget about her, but it's happening really slowly.

All I've read so far says you just need to do it.

Not working so far. Any advice?

 

[usdaprime]

What I do is get really mad thinking about things she has done to me. But this is probally not the healthy way. but it works for me.

 

[HappyHobo]

Occupy your mind with something else besides her.

Perhaps a GOAL or PASSION you have.

It is easy, all it takes is a little self-control.

 

[digitalrat]

I think about how she doesnt like and I automaticly sub-conciously NEXT her.

 

[MDgood]

What works for me is to think, hey, she couldn't have been so great if she wasn't willing to give me a chance. Yeah, it may be a load of bullshyt that does noithing more than settle my mind, but hey, it works for me.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by usdaprime
What I do is get really mad thinking about things she has done to me. But this is probally not the healthy way. but it works for me.

this is useless and keeps her fresh in your mind

the only way really is to not hate them or be pissed at them for anything

i think about my one-its every once in a while but it doesnt bother me anymore

it was a GREAT learning experience

the only thing really is time, goals are good too but sometimes deep inside we acomplish these things so that they can see them and as much as we may deny it somewhere inside it is to showoff to those ppl who have hurt us

 

[Bonhomme]

MDgood's on the right track

I just think about the reasons why I don't want her and she doesn't meet my standards. And there always are some.

The key is to keep internalizing the idea that it's her loss, until that concept is absolutely fixed in yopur mind.

Getting there...

 

[numlock]

everyone says this, and it's so true:

focus on getting other girls. and all your thoughts about this one girl will vanish

when you're going after other chicks, i guarantee your mind won't be on this one

 

[coin]

She never did anything bad to me...

I was with another girl a couple days ago and now that you mention it, that worked. While I was with her I forgot about everything.

Seems I just need to grace a couple other ladies with my presence.

 

[PETE379]

its tuff

probably best way for me is to get out and see all the other posibilities,

 

[lemieux66]

Well, first and foremost, you can't see her. You can't talk to her online. You can't call her. Have absolutely no contact with this girl. It's like they say, out of sight out of mind. You might have to apply this to her friends too, depending on how much you're into this girl.

And like everybody else has said, go out. Go out to find girls. Go out with your buddies. Do whatever. Just be busy all the time.

--Mike

 

[Walden]

FTOB.
Find ten other women.

I didn;t even have to read this one.

 

[Spread em Gal]

Hey listen,

There's a couple of good ideas in this thread

I remember my first and second fixations on one single girl and how I forgot them.

1. Focus on all the negative aspects about her.. Forget about the good stuff, focus on the bad stuff.

2. Get yourself occupied on other things.. Other hobbies , other women

3. Convince yourself that you're better than she is (If it isn't true, forget about this one lol)

4. This is a classic , imagine her sitting on the toilet taking a **** , a big stinking one.

5. Tell yourself to keep cool.. Only a mature DJ keeps cool at all costs.. Not only on the outside but on the inside too. Keeping cool , relaxed and confident will not only allow her to drift from your mind, but it'll allow you to meet other women and score with them

6. Courage and balls

There's some more but I'm tired of writing

 

[Santos]

Getting over oneitis

It took me 3 months to accept my oneitis didn't want me. It does happen slowly and takes a long time, but you will get over her eventually, here are my tips:

1. Think of all the negative things she's done to you.

2. Think of stuff you don't like about her, personality, looks,etc. There is always something. I don't care how beautiful she is, she's not perfect.

3. Don't call her, don't text message her and try not to see her until you are COMPLETELY OVER HER. This was my biggest problem, as my oneitis was in the same classes as me and we had to work together.

4. Use this time for self-improvement. What is it she didn't like about you? Were you too nice, too desperate? Work on your weakpoints (always room for self-improvement!).

6. The fact that you are having trouble getting over her might been you're not experienced enough with women and don't meet them regularly. PRACTICE approaching, conversation, etc!

7. Delete all e-mails, text messages and throw away any letters that might remind you of her.

8. Go out us much as you can, take up a hobby to keep you busy.

9. Try and date other women, or at least meet them and ask them on a date. It helps you distract yourself. I went after two women after my oneitis (one of them was a friend! eek!) but it helps you forget.

10. Are you sure you like her that much? IF you could have any women you know\have seen, would you pick her or someone else?

Spend a lot of time thinking about her? Repeat the advice I (and others) have given you, during that time. Do this until you are OVER her, but REALLY over her. When you are really over her you won't be thinking "lets just be friends" and you will GENUINELY not care whether you see her again or not.

Be strong!
Santos

 

[Walden]

4. This is a classic , imagine her sitting on the toilet taking a **** , a big stinking one.

I dunno man , I'd be kinda turned on by that.

 

[DAMY46]

'tuff'

I feel ur pain..... I just came out of a 2 and 1/2 year relationship. It is her loss.......
Damy

 

[trajhenkhet]

Really focus on goals. Chill with friends. And try and date other ladies.

 

[davelmn2003]

Listen to Cake's version of "I Will Survive":

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
I kept thinking I could never live without you
By my side
But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how you've done me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to get along

And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you
Here without that look upon your face

I should have changed my f*ckin' lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I had had know for just one second
You'd be back to bother me

Well now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around
Now, you're not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one
Who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumple?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh not I,
I will survive
Yeah
As Long as I know how to love,
I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive,
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

It took all the strength I had
Just not to fall apart
I'm trying hard to mend the pieces
Of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry,
But now I hold my head up high

And you see me
With somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person
Still in love with you
And so you thought you'd just drop by
And you expect me to be free
But now I'm saving all my lovin'
For someone whose lovin' me

Well now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around
Now, you're not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one
Who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumple?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh not I,
I will survive
Yeah
As long as I know how to love,
I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive,
I will survive
Yeah, yeah
Oh no

 

[payaya]

i found going out with mates, keep mind occupied was a good way to get over a girl. When your by yourself, you alway think in a negative manner, so you have to go out prove to yourself you dont need this girl anymore to have fun.

Also finding new woman helps, as they say love hurts!

 

[silverdog]

Originally posted by davelmn2003
Listen to Cake's version of "I Will Survive"

Hey thanks man for that, the song made my day