Technical's Approach Journal

[Technical1]

23 year old grad student here, doing an approach journal!

I will also catalogue the male strangers I talk to, because that is a skill I also want to cultivate, just to be more social in general. I don't know if there is a universal standard as to what an HB9 is, so Im just going to say 'for Tech she was a 9'. Its my standards.

First week - discovered SoSuave, read some articles. Approached a girl in a bookstore (6 for Tech), floundered - too much built up tension in me thinking about it. Approached 3 other guys in the bookstore and chatted with them, laughing. Approached 2 girls and 2 guys on a plane flight. One girl I wasnt interested in, the other one I was (7 for Tech), but was too tense to continue. She kept looking at me after that, so I knew she wanted it.
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Second week - met an old friend and two friends of his, and instead of being withdrawn like usually, I was spontaneous and came out of my shell so to speak, and I actually was the center of conversation at lunch! I havent been this talkative in years, but it worked great! These guys really like me now. Just one week ago it would have been totally different. I would have said next to nothing and would have made non-spontaneous interview type conversation. Like I said, I'm RE-socializing myself through this stuff.

Cold approached an attractive girl (8 for Tech) at a library. She was sitting on the steps, it was a mentally stalled, interrogation-style I-am-so-nervous kind of talk. Horrible. I am a bit smooth however even in my nervousness, so I didnt totally look like sh1t. Afterwards she came to where I was sitting and was hovering around talking to some guy, throwing glances at me. At that point I was in a poor frame of mind to continue and actually had to work.

Practiced EC in the supermarket and did it until I knew I could do it every time. Practiced a few times asking sales ladies questions about things.

_______

Third week - went out to 3 discos on the weekend. Approached two girls separately in the first disco (8 for Tech and 8.5 for Tech), danced intimately with the more traditionally "hot" one, asking interview-style questions and not being sponataneous, also not dancing super well. At some point she bid me farewell! (Hint: I still am learning how to escalate!). The other girl was really my type, student-like with glasses, she was shy when I came up to her, dancing with her friend. I danced up to her and said: "You didnt come here to dance with your friend, did you?" She replied, "You've had a little much to drink, haven't you?" I'm not going to let my brain process that because it will just make me mad. I pulled at her handbag and said, "You brought this here? It must be full of all kinds of important stuff!" she blushed. Then her stupid girlfriend she was dancing with pulled her away from me. Damn I really wanted to have this girl.

I didnt chase her, but in retrospect I should have. I thought chasing her would be AFC, perhaps it would be. I should have gone up to her and forced her to dance with me, or at least confront me and ask me to leave. She needed me so badly she had no idea.

I danced up to another girl who acknowledged me but didnt dance with me. She looked unsure, and I wasn't vibing in a friendly enough way!

Then, in the other disco, I went up to a girl dancing in a group and said "hello!" and smiled at everyone. The guy, her boyfriend, said a menacing "hello!" back and I smiled at him and kept dancing. The girl then did something weird, she PUSHED ME AWAY WITH HER ASS. She literally rubbed her ass against my body in an effort to push me away. She basically humped me away from her, right next to all her friends! WTF? I dont care, I just laughed it off. Anyway, it was more sexual than dancing with her would have been, given all those friends. She was a 6 for Tech but had beautiful legs. God, her dancing style was fvcking horrible! I'm glad I did it but as regards the choice of woman, Techie baby, what were you thinking?

At one disco I went up to a table in the corner and started dirty dancing with the table, some girls looked, and I just laughed and walked off with a friend. A little bit of cowardice was covered in that humorous, apparently care-free outburst. I still enjoyed it. Me and my friend were singing and talking all kinds of sh1t to each other on the ride there, we had a ball.

We got hit on by two sets of two girls, but I just stonewalled them. Great for them that they love us, I choose the women I fvck. Well, actually, this is a bad attitude to have. Take what comes to you. But I was totally focused on my sh1t, and women trying to flirt with me without me initiating is somehow against my nature. This too, I will probably have to overcome.

 

[Technical1]

_____

4th Week -
This week I havent been out yet, I plan on going to some discos. I am getting contact lenses and practicing not looking at the ground, EVER. It is a big change, I used to never realize how much I looked at the ground when I was walking for example.

I'm being a Teachers assistant in a class where the students have to use electronic equiptment. I teach each group of students how to use the equiptment, each group is two students. Its really fun to do! I ALWAYS choose a group with girls in it, and I get to do 5 groups a day all week, so I get to talk to 6 or 7 girls each day. I love it!

One of them fell for me, was asking me questions about my life, I had her laughing up and down, looking deep in my eyes, she acted like she thought I just fell out of heaven. I wanted to number close but I left. I also was unsure what to do because my "boss" is not very far away, what if he saw me ask for the number? She was a 5 for Tech but had a personality that charmed me.

The other girls did show some IOIs. One gave me the deep, deep scanning dilated pupils look, as in, ARE YOU HIM, MY IDEAL? Now that I say this, 6 months ago I did the pupil scanning thing to another girl, crazy! So that was what that was! Now I understand, god it felt cool back then.

The other girls were mostly nervous and polite around me, one was kind of breathless and distracted, I imagine from nervousness. She was good looking.

I also sat next to a random stranger (a guy) at lunch and struck up a conversation with him. I wanted to do this each day of the week, but for some reason, I felt weak today and yesterday (I have a light cold). In the future I want to do more cold approaches and I want to spend more time in Discos!

I also resolve, that the next time I feel an urge to smack a girl's ass in a disco, that I am going to do it right away, provided she is not the aggressive type. I will never get that shy girl's ass back to smack, it is SO sad. I knew she was shy and having her ass smacked would brighten her day. I should have done it. That would have been on her mind for a week.

Thanks for reading, I'll post again next week.
Tech

 

[Technical1]

Thats 13 interactions with women that I deliberately sought out carried through myself. I'm not sure if the TA job should count as an approach, although I do avoid the guys and approach the girls, and they also dont know that I am there so I do have to introduce myself and explain what Im doing. Anyway, 13 interactions in 3 weeks with new girls, most of whom I chose for their good looks.

Im just a Recovering AFC, but this lifestyle feels alot better than my old one already! Already I have upped the odds in my favor by a whole lot!! Hooray!

 

[Technical1]

5th week:

tongue-kissed, kinoed and failed number closed an HB7 (on my scale...).
She was a great girl, doing her PhD. Maybe thats why she was hard to f-close. Her friend was there so Anti-Slut Defenses were up.

flirted with a milf, kissed some random women on the cheek in a bar, approached more women in a disco. Who gives a **** about any of this ****, not me.

 

[Technical1]

Friday Night, April 4th:

Cleaned my apartment *just in case*, went out to four nightclubs. Cold approached maybe 12 people, just starting convos- in some cases very difficult because of loud music. 3 were unattractive girls, 2 were girls I'd want to boink. I met two or three really cool guys, surprisingly!! My best convos were with guys but I wont talk about them here. Two girls I failed to approach because of AA, though I wanted to boink them. Two losses!!!

First girl I'd want to boink: on the train, asked her what kind of bag she had, it was from a european students organisation, but after she gave me flat monotone answers and a blase look I dropped "the interrogation" after three questions. She was the best looking broad I think this evening, could have really enjoyed her. Oh well. She did not put out a fun vibe.

Second girl I'd want to boink: After I had some EC with her but decided I wasn't really feeling her, she approached me, or rather came and sat next to me directly. Dont remember how I opened. 10 minutes convo, where are you from, etc., what do you do. She told me her life story, etc. Unfortunately she had been up since 5 that morning working so she was tired, and we are from pretty different backgrounds (she works unpacking food in a grocery store! I cant even pretend to be interested in that sh1t!!), so although she was obviously interested, I would have had to push the connection. Tonight I didnt want to push anything, just be real with people and be friendly and let things take their course.

So I kinoed her lightly while she was reaching in deep to talk to me, pretty erotic from my perspective. Still wasnt feeling her, she didnt convince me. We chatted and I said I'm splitting, I could have got her phone number but didnt care to. She was really kind and respectful to me, which is cool, she was interested in me, we didnt have a "fun" connection though and I wasnt feeling her. I left. Its great to talk to someone who is interested in you and obviously respects you though, I tried to give her that right back.

Progress:

First time I ever went out to nightclubs on my own to sarge. First time I ever could beam at complete strangers and hold a smile for a long time. I've been in a good mood, or at least now I find it easier to be in a good mood under these circumstances. I wasnt flighty. I had AA but it wasnt overwhelming, pretty relaxed actually. I enjoyed myself!

Negatives:

I was not impressed by the people at these nightclubs. 60% guys, and the girls didnt do it for me. They all seemed short and boring looking. I'm 6'2 and I like a woman that is near to me in height. Alot of girls just dont put out any interesting vibe, like you look at them and there seems to be no spark of life. "Blah" is their facial expression. I must be picky, but some of these girls look like their faces got rode over by a bicycle.

Anyway, better than staying in all night.

NEXT STEP: Day game in bookstores, because I like women who read.

 

[Magma]

Brother Tech! I am glad that you are charting your progress. Doing so in a public forum shows confidence in and of itself. For that I salute you!

Keep fighting the good fight!

Respect.

 

[reset]

Oh crap. You started out trying to sarge but inadvertently are becoming an outgoing person who is able to get along with just about everyone and enjoy himself, and enjoying the experience.

 

[tihash]

I'm enjoying the journal. I really see the progress, and it has only been a few weeks.

Questions for you (because I wanted to go out alone to a club/bar tonight but decided not to because of being self-conscious): Any tips on how to get into a bar alone and not feel weird about it?

I do a lot of daytime sarging maninly b/c I dont have many friends to go to bars with. And I think I am missing out, but just cant bring myself to go alone.

 

[Technical1]

Questions for you (because I wanted to go out alone to a club/bar tonight but decided not to because of being self-conscious): Any tips on how to get into a bar alone and not feel weird about it?

Well, I've internalized the "prize" mentality more and more in the last weeks, basically through doing affirmations with an mp3 file I made.
I made it according to the directions in this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=16908

Here are some facts which one might be able to objectively affirm, but yet not subconsciously believe, which when you actually believe them help you out alot.

1. You're a great guy.
2. You have a lot to offer the world.
3. People want to share your reality and you to share theirs.
4. You dont need to put on a show or play games for people.
5. If you just smile and vibe with people, everything will fall into place.

(see http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=112228 )
You really just need to smile, vibe, and forget yourself and voila
you're socializing with people.


Thats what you believe about yourself.

This is what you have to believe about women:

1. Women love sex
2. If you're on this website chances are you're good looking and smart
3. So women love sex with you
4. Women love the way your smile looks
5. Women go to clubs to get hit on
6. For most women you talk to, you're going to be the best thing that could happen to them.

The only technique I can recommend is doing affirmations, such as those listed on that thread. You are basically brainwashing yourself into believing that you're the sh1t. Its working really well for me, I do it every morning and night. Gotta go.

 

[Technical1]

Saturday, April 5th. Day Game.

Went out for about 4 hours today looking for a part-time job. Did about 8 or maybe 10 cold approaches.

Met a guy standing outside a church who just broke up with his woman of 8 years after she cheated on him with 3 diff. guys. He's quit his job, sold his house and is going on a pilgrimage across Northern Spain (the so-called Jacobs-way pilgrimage). Not for religious reasons but I think just to have time to himself. He was obviously at a turning point. I described SoSuave to him and how it has helped me, without revealing the name of this place. We talked for 15 minutes and he gave me his business card, I may clue him in to SoSuave.net. A cool dude, he shared alot of himself with me for a cold approach. It reconfirmed for me that this place isn't just an echo-chamber for bitter and maladjusted types, the sh1t we talk about in MM really does happen. Lives get ruined.

Chatted up a 50-something woman in a gambling hall, she was ragged and old as hell but I just wanted to. After a few minutes, with her giving me the "where is this going?" vibe, I just said: "We can chat, can't we?" She said, "No..." and acted like she was waiting for me to leave. So I left.

Talked to a Scottish guy in line at the grocery store about how Britain is a fascist country, etc. I'm not a big fan either honestly of the government of that place. He was obviously a bit of a nutball though.

And heres the rub: all morning I was thinking about my standards, calibrating my standards. What qualifies a woman for me to want to sleep with her, how good does she have to look, how interesting a vibe does she have to put out. Because the girl from the disco last night looked better than 95% of the women I saw this morning, and I was thinking... "Tech... lower them standards man and get some pvss!" ... so I was tossing this around in my head amazed at how many women just look blah-blah uninteresting.

What happens next? On my walk in to the grocery store I saw a girl who was perfectly my type, who I would definitely want to go all the way with. She was selling newspapers. Tall, curvy, dirty blonde curly hair, beautiful face, strong black eyebrows, glasses. Eyes must have been green or blue or grey. I could have clubbed her and dragged her off to my cave right there and then. But as I walked by, I beamed her a huge smile, like a smile that nobody would ever give you unless they thought you were pretty cool. I think its the "I want to fvck you" smile. I hope it didnt look weird, because that smile was fricking huge. She either thinks I'm mentally insane, or she got the message.

Then I got my groceries and went out. She was there again and did her sales pitch again, directed at me with some force. Bam! Huge smile explodes across my face, this is the kind of smile I think one could signal planes to land with. Still I keep on walking. I know it was weak not to approach, I'm not going to offer any excuses. I just didn't go for it.

Progress:

In the old days when I wanted to fvck a woman, I would get nervous or get shifty-eyed with her or get stern or get cautious or get withdrawn. Now I can smile at them, big radiant stuff. This is big progress for me. I hope I didnt freak her out though because I may have looked too happy for the situation.

Go me!

 

[faiNt`]

Great stuff; enjoy reading it.

 

[Technical1]

I want to record here that I intend to talk to 15 girls tonight, I'm going out to two diff. night clubs. I will have a small notebook and pen with me and I will make a tally mark for every one I talk to just to be precise. I find that goal-setting and demanding this of myself causes me to push my boundaries more. Will report on how this works tonight/tommorow. This is to correct the problem of my last report where I went out to 4 nightclubs but only ended up talking to 2 attractive and 3 semi-attractive girls. This time we are going to have 15 attractive girls, or bust.

 

[Credos]

Good job Technical1, keep up the good work !

Trying to make my own journal, though I don't know if I'm succeeding as much as you in making it fun to read !
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1394822&posted=1#post1394822
Keep it up though, keep reporting!

 

[Technical1]

Failure

I failed in my mission. Details follow.

On the way to the disco I kept myself chatty by talking to about 10 or 12 people, doing cold approaches. It worked very well, basically I kept asking people for directions. I gave one guy my phone number after we chatted for a bit in the train. When I went to get money I realized I only have 16 Euros left to my name, which means things are going to be tight in the coming weeks.

On the way back I met a girl walking who was my type: tall, brunette with fair skin, beautiful face, elegant demeanor. I asked her directions even though I knew where I was going.

I'm not going to write the rest. I failed. Too angry at myself and the world to writ any more, sorry. I missed an opportuntiy and thje self loathing is extreme. bye.

 

[Huffman]

Who am I to judge, but one thing:
Don't hate so much. You know where that self-loathing comes from?
It is your need to constantly improve, which is a good thing. But by hating yourself, you try to spur yourself to put even more effort into it. You try even harder, and - at some point - fail again. Your hate yourself even more.

This is dangerous. Perhaps you're trying with too much force? Get some time off and relax.

 

[Technical1]

Inner Game Update

So I beat my porn addiction, stopped eating sweets, got a 2nd job where I earn good money, and started to get my finances in order. I also began planning in depth for my future and the next step of my education, which is a beautiful thing– the effort I put in I have no doubt will be repaid with later successes. It feels good to put energy into your life and improve it, I can feel myself *catching up to and overtaking* those around me, since I can work more intensely and more deftly than they can. For example, I have to present a scientific paper in three weeks, already I got started thinking of topics: I am going to blow that presentation out of the water.

No more girls in my life for a while, the progress I am seeing in all other areas is too good to jeopardize, particularly because it just started really gaining momentum. Being master of your own life, if you can achieve it, is already victory. Plus, I have to say, for those of us who have ingrained high standards, saying "I am the prize" or "I am the king" over and over again doesnt mean sh1t. I have objective standards for my personal behavior and when I break them, I feel bad; when I surpass them, I feel wonderful. My evaluation of myself is based on fixed standards, and the more I meet them, the more genuinely proud of myself I become.

That was an important thing to realize, since there is a strand of moral relativism/subjective reality represented occasionally on this board (and elsewhere) that says: accept yourself however you are; just think that you are good, just believe it, and that will be enough.

In fact, I was unable to dupe myself into thinking I was a king or a prize. But by hard work and fulfilling obligations and earning money I've increased my status in my own eyes and earned a bit of pride which I could cash in for numbers at the Great Female Bank, yet choose not to at the mo.

Keep it real everybody, I may not be writing for a while, and I deliberately didnt write some stuff here that I could have, yet this journal might blow up one day. I'm very excited about the future and what it holds for me... l8r!