"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Teasing b1tch - (just wanted to share)

Jetleg

Jetleg

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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today i was sitting in my kitchen, when suddenly one of the (many) students that live in dorms came to me and started teasing me. this b1tch had her eyes on me for a long time but i got a girlfriend and she knows it.

so she start telling me about that she is alone, and didn't have any "wild sex" for a while. she said she would do me if i didn't have any girlfriend (but wasnt joking about it). "let me know when you dont have a girlfriend anymore" and leaves.

i thought that **** happens only in porn? i hate teasing b1tches.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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dustmuffin

dustmuffin

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Jetleg said:
today i was sitting in my kitchen, when suddenly one of the (many) students that live in dorms came to me and started teasing me. this b1tch had her eyes on me for a long time but i got a girlfriend and she knows it.

so she start telling me about that she is alone, and didn't have any "wild sex" for a while. she said she would do me if i didn't have any girlfriend (but wasnt joking about it). "let me know when you dont have a girlfriend anymore" and leaves.

i thought that **** happens only in porn? i hate teasing b1tches.
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You are doing something right. Good for you for staying loyal. Now you know who to hit up if things go south.
 
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