"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Taste it Sweety!
- Thread starter Tictac
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
abe0
Senior Don Juan
That was beautiful!!! As they say....priceless!! It has been a long time since I have enjoyed a post like that one. Good for him....I loved it when she thought her bf was a homebody who will not be doing anyone...while she f*cks her little heart away on vacation. I guess if there is no emotional attachments, according to her, then its not cheating either.
Thanks for sharing....made my morning! Abe
Thanks for sharing....made my morning! Abe
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Haha, later, biatch!
Tictac
Banned
THE ORIGINAL POST: (she tried to delete it as she was getting hammered in the replies/comments)
TLDR - Before my vacation i [F24] asked my boyfriend [M25] to open our relationship temporarily. Now hes regularly having sex with some girl in our apartment and im heartbroken
Im pretty ****ing upset rigth now , Im going to do my best to explain everything thats happened.
Ive had an extended holiday (3 months) planned with my best friend (Tory) for years. We have always talked about it and my boyfriend (Daniel) knew we were going to do it. She finally finished college this December and we put our plan into action.
Another friend (Michelle) went on a similar trip years ago. She and her friend both had longterm boyfriends at the time, and they both ended up cheating on the trip. A while later their friendship fell apart, and they both revealed each others infidelity. It got ugly. Michelle and her boyfriend broke up, her (ex)friend stayed with her boyfriend but from the sounds of it their relationship was severely damaged.
At first i thought they were absolutely horrible for doing it, but after talking to her i could see their side of things - months of no sexual contact/release, being in a party atmosphere, of course there would be temptation. She's young, attractive and gets lots of male attention. The encounter was purely sexual, she was drunk, and they used protection. The next day the boy was out of her life completely and that was it. I vehementely disagreed with doing all this behind her boyfriends back though.
Talking with Michelle about a month ago, she asked what im going to do about Daniel. I honestly hadnt thought about it like that, i felt like i could easily go 3 months without having sex. And id never want to betray Daniel's trust. But Michelle made a good case for 'opening' our relationship while i was away - she said (paraphrasing): "Of course you love Daniel. But traveling is about experiencing new things, and that includes sex. Youll say it wont happen now, but you just have to trust me that once youre their youll feel different. Daniel is going to wonder either way if youre ****ing other guys on your trip. Just be upfront with him and see what he says."
And so that night i talked to him about it. I explained that i wasnt going to be looking to **** every guy i see that im attracted to, and that my love for him was as strong as ever, but i also wanted to be able act freely and party like other girls my age. It was more contingency if anything - i dont plan on ****ing other guys, but if it happens it happens. A nigth of partying half the world away with people ill never see again shouldnt ruin what we had here. Id insist on using protection. And of course he would have the same opportunity as me, he would be able to freely see girls if he chose to. He wasnt happy, but said he understood. He said "Youve tied my hands. If i tell you i forbid it, ill still be worried if youre being true to your word. By expressing that this is what you want, theres nothing i can do to stop you".
Daniels a bit of a homebody - he goes out with his friends on occassion, but most nights he spends in our apartment playing video games or watching netflix. Given his lifestyle i wasnt overly worried hed be hooking up with all these random girls.
Me and Tory left on February 17. Its been eye-opening and a ton of fun. But its also been stressful. We havent done any partying, we talked to some guys one night but nothing came of it. Tonight i checked my email at an internet cafe and there was a message from Kay, a sweet old lady who lives above us in our apartment complex.
"I have debated for days whether to send this to you and potentially ruin your vacation. But you deserve to know the truth. Daniel has been seeing another woman since you left. There is no doubt that he is seeing her, she has come over most nights and I have heard them being intimate. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry."
I thought i could handle this open relationship arrangement. I cant. This message shattered my heart into a million pieces. This isnt what i intended at all, i wanted the freedom to act in the moment. He is taking this as a free pass to regularly **** some girl. And i have a feeling i know exactly who it is, a girl from his work who was always overly flirty with him.
I regret ever taking Michelles advice and opening my stupid mouth. I dont want him to **** other girls, i dont want to **** other guys. I want this slut out of my apartment NOW!!! I am a ****ing wreck and need other womens opinions. Tory has been so unhelpful, basically telling me to grow up and that i got what i asked for. No ****?! People arent allowed to change their minds or regret their decisions?!
How do I go about contacting him and expressing that this needs to stop NOW without coming across like a crazy hypocritical *****? And let him know that i will be 100% faithful on my trip? I dont even know how i am going to look at him when i get home. I am beyond hurt, this feels so wrong and so sick.
I am going to bed now to try and get some sleep, i will check and respond to all comments tomorrow morning. Thank you
EDIT: guys, seriously stop it. I know i ****ed up, i brought it all on myself. Kicking me while im down isnt helping. Im not asking for your opinion on my stupid selfish decision, im asking the best way to approach this and fix it.
Tory says i should email him saying "what i said before about opening our relationship was a mistake. I havent slept with anyone here and i dont want to. Youre my parter and i dont want to compromise what we have. Please be faithful as I will be to you. I love you." Simply dont tell him about Kay's email or that i know there's another woman. Thoughts?
TLDR - Before my vacation i [F24] asked my boyfriend [M25] to open our relationship temporarily. Now hes regularly having sex with some girl in our apartment and im heartbroken
Im pretty ****ing upset rigth now , Im going to do my best to explain everything thats happened.
Ive had an extended holiday (3 months) planned with my best friend (Tory) for years. We have always talked about it and my boyfriend (Daniel) knew we were going to do it. She finally finished college this December and we put our plan into action.
Another friend (Michelle) went on a similar trip years ago. She and her friend both had longterm boyfriends at the time, and they both ended up cheating on the trip. A while later their friendship fell apart, and they both revealed each others infidelity. It got ugly. Michelle and her boyfriend broke up, her (ex)friend stayed with her boyfriend but from the sounds of it their relationship was severely damaged.
At first i thought they were absolutely horrible for doing it, but after talking to her i could see their side of things - months of no sexual contact/release, being in a party atmosphere, of course there would be temptation. She's young, attractive and gets lots of male attention. The encounter was purely sexual, she was drunk, and they used protection. The next day the boy was out of her life completely and that was it. I vehementely disagreed with doing all this behind her boyfriends back though.
Talking with Michelle about a month ago, she asked what im going to do about Daniel. I honestly hadnt thought about it like that, i felt like i could easily go 3 months without having sex. And id never want to betray Daniel's trust. But Michelle made a good case for 'opening' our relationship while i was away - she said (paraphrasing): "Of course you love Daniel. But traveling is about experiencing new things, and that includes sex. Youll say it wont happen now, but you just have to trust me that once youre their youll feel different. Daniel is going to wonder either way if youre ****ing other guys on your trip. Just be upfront with him and see what he says."
And so that night i talked to him about it. I explained that i wasnt going to be looking to **** every guy i see that im attracted to, and that my love for him was as strong as ever, but i also wanted to be able act freely and party like other girls my age. It was more contingency if anything - i dont plan on ****ing other guys, but if it happens it happens. A nigth of partying half the world away with people ill never see again shouldnt ruin what we had here. Id insist on using protection. And of course he would have the same opportunity as me, he would be able to freely see girls if he chose to. He wasnt happy, but said he understood. He said "Youve tied my hands. If i tell you i forbid it, ill still be worried if youre being true to your word. By expressing that this is what you want, theres nothing i can do to stop you".
Daniels a bit of a homebody - he goes out with his friends on occassion, but most nights he spends in our apartment playing video games or watching netflix. Given his lifestyle i wasnt overly worried hed be hooking up with all these random girls.
Me and Tory left on February 17. Its been eye-opening and a ton of fun. But its also been stressful. We havent done any partying, we talked to some guys one night but nothing came of it. Tonight i checked my email at an internet cafe and there was a message from Kay, a sweet old lady who lives above us in our apartment complex.
"I have debated for days whether to send this to you and potentially ruin your vacation. But you deserve to know the truth. Daniel has been seeing another woman since you left. There is no doubt that he is seeing her, she has come over most nights and I have heard them being intimate. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry."
I thought i could handle this open relationship arrangement. I cant. This message shattered my heart into a million pieces. This isnt what i intended at all, i wanted the freedom to act in the moment. He is taking this as a free pass to regularly **** some girl. And i have a feeling i know exactly who it is, a girl from his work who was always overly flirty with him.
I regret ever taking Michelles advice and opening my stupid mouth. I dont want him to **** other girls, i dont want to **** other guys. I want this slut out of my apartment NOW!!! I am a ****ing wreck and need other womens opinions. Tory has been so unhelpful, basically telling me to grow up and that i got what i asked for. No ****?! People arent allowed to change their minds or regret their decisions?!
How do I go about contacting him and expressing that this needs to stop NOW without coming across like a crazy hypocritical *****? And let him know that i will be 100% faithful on my trip? I dont even know how i am going to look at him when i get home. I am beyond hurt, this feels so wrong and so sick.
I am going to bed now to try and get some sleep, i will check and respond to all comments tomorrow morning. Thank you
EDIT: guys, seriously stop it. I know i ****ed up, i brought it all on myself. Kicking me while im down isnt helping. Im not asking for your opinion on my stupid selfish decision, im asking the best way to approach this and fix it.
Tory says i should email him saying "what i said before about opening our relationship was a mistake. I havent slept with anyone here and i dont want to. Youre my parter and i dont want to compromise what we have. Please be faithful as I will be to you. I love you." Simply dont tell him about Kay's email or that i know there's another woman. Thoughts?
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
This is what happens...... This is the ultimate women bullsh!t, She TRIED to get away with having her cake and eat it to but it backfired BIG TIME and this is what i mean when i tell guys that even though their girlfriends may be great for the time.. Their friends will be in her ear like a little devil trying to ruin something good between two people. The big majority of your girlfriends friends dont give a fvck about you and your relationship and they will sabotage it if you let it. This also happened to me and i really hate girls like this. THEY DO NOT CARE WHAT THEY RUIN and since women are the weaker more submissive, easily manipulated sex... Just as the serpent deceived Eve..... Today's females are also deceived and led to cause emotional havoc. The problem with today modern thinking is women are "free" and cant be tied down like men... WOMEN HAVE TO BE LED BY MEN! not their BS Girlfriends. If you stand up to this then they go on a tantrum that your a controlling man and insecure, when really you as a man, are trying to PROTECT your relationship.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
That's what I'm thinking.... The next guy she will probably keep it quiet and "innocently" cheat anyway by rationalizing it in her moronic mind. Its so great how she viewed him as a stay at home type of guy so he wasnt viewed as a threat to fvck another girl and he did. The reality she was painting for herself with the "help" of her slvt friends was ...."He wont do anything... I'll go away and suck on a few c0cks and when i get back we can continue our loving relationship like nothing ever happened" What a total B*tch that deserves a hard slap. I can bet ANYTHING that even though she would of fvcked a few guys... she would have questioned him if he slept with anyone else and act pissed off if he did but he beat her to the punch.PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
This is a true example of how women of today want to be. Fvck around without ANY consequences and expect the guy to do right by them while they try to get away with it. Can't imagine what PlayHerMan has to say about this story lol
JohnChops
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2012
- Messages
- 2,734
- Reaction score
- 481
This is awesome! See she wanted to **** other guys and yet she pretty much thought Daniel wouldn't **** other girls because of his life style. If he was some good looking model, or actually went out she never wouldn't said that . This girl is a little manipulative *****. I'm glad that kid is nailing another girl.
Quite possibly. They can be pros at rationalizing outright cheating, too.PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
What puts a smile on my face is this...She may or may not cheat in the future, but I bet she thinks twice before allowing a committee of geese to make relationship decisions for her again. With all the crap we have to deal with because of women let their friends think for them, this is just so poetic.
Plus, the whole concept of a "break" in a relationship is pure female BS. The only reason they even consider it is because of the differences in sexual dynamics between the sexes. If they weren't at a massive advantage in that situation they would never propose it. They would never sit still for a guy suggesting such a thing with a straight face. She said herself that she only did it because she thought he would be sitting at home scratching his nuts while she partied for 3 months abroad. It's just beautiful to see this blow up in ones face for once. She may cheat in the future or not, but her little plausible deniability scheme is out the window.
I doubt we will ever hear about it but we won't know about a happy ending until her hamster runs itself to death and she contacts him. To me, a happy ending would be dude dumping her because he's having more fun with his new chick. Dumping her on the phone. No, even better, being vague about it saying " I don't think it's something we should discuss on the phone, but when you get home we need to have a serious talk." Bet she's home in less than a week.
Gold. Pure gold. This should be required reading for all women somewhere.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
VikingKing
Banned
Priceless