"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Tam Tam Tam: The girl that likes you that everyone likes except you! curse

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Oxide

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So I got a pretty interesting situation for you to rack your brains over. This happened to me way too many times, including tonight:

Set up: Party. Hot girls.

..and then there is that girl that is OK looking, she isn't hot, and she isn't a total pig, but she does nothing for ya.. yet she is usually one of the most social one, or she knows all other girls or everyone loves her or it is her party. Lets call her "Average girl" - AG

This is exactly the girl that is always attracted to me first. It is like a sick joke - I walk in and know exactly who it's going to be.


Naturally, I want the hot girls, but the AG will be the one who blatantly hits on me, makes sexual references and wants to sit on my lap.

Now, I am nice because I don't want her to **** it up for me with the other girls.. but I get flustered when she keeps pushing.

When I try to just ignore it and let her keep hitting on me she will eventually stop and then GET PIS SED Off!! And then will bring down other girls.

Other hot girls will say things like "but my friend likes you!" (could be an excuse but still, wtf!)

So what's the best way to deal with this, without breaking a girls heart and yet not letting her in your pants... and still get the hot friends?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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L

Lust

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Change what you are doing.

If it happens to you that many times, don't you think it has something to do with you?

How presentable are you? If a girl met you for the first time, would she think you'd be the guy in the hot girls league, or the average girls league?

I know looks don't count, I'm talking about the way you dress, the way you speak, you're body language.

If AGs keep hitting on you, they probably think you are the only type who is within their league, you have to make them feel as if you are out of her league. Hell, you even have to make the hot girls feel like you are out of their league at first. Only difference is, you run game on the HBs not the AGs.

Also, this situation isn't a bad one you know.

If you get the "But my friend likes you" line, it means you aren't running proper game with your targets.

If you can run proper game will still being getting good social proof from AGs then HBs will be easier to close.
 
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TillTheEndOfTime

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Oxide said:
Other hot girls will say things like "but my friend likes you!" (could be an excuse but still, wtf!)
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Yeah probably a blatant excuse. Women have very little loyalty when it comes to fighting over guys.

Oxide said:
So what's the best way to deal with this, without breaking a girls heart and yet not letting her in your pants... and still get the hot friends?
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What about a wingman? He wouldn't have to be with her all night, just enough time for you to run game at your targets and to see if you got a shot. If that fails, then he can bail and then there is not much harm anymore in getting attention from an AG.

Besides that...all you can do is make some excuse, but since she's there and you're hitting on her friends, it won't take long to figure out you're full of sh1t and she'll get pissed. And being blunt will probably come off as mean.

So I say your best shot is a wingman.
 
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djbr

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TillTheEndOfTime said:
Yeah probably a blatant excuse. Women have very little loyalty when it comes to fighting over guys.
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Take out the "probably" out of this quote, substitute "very little" for "no" and it's perfect.
 
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I-am-someone

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Why do you even engage these girls?

If I'm not interested in a girl, I just give her a quick look, ignore her, and continue to another girl. Instead, it sounds like you actually keep conversation going and create dynamics with these girls.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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TillTheEndOfTime

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I-am-someone said:
Why do you even engage these girls?

If I'm not interested in a girl, I just give her a quick look, ignore her, and continue to another girl. Instead, it sounds like you actually keep conversation going and create dynamics with these girls.
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From what Oxide said, it sounds like they're being too aggressive to dismiss in that way. Hard to ignore a girl sitting on your lap. :crazy:
 
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Oxide

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Well ok, to give exact situation:

Say it is that girl's house and she invited everyone else. I have recently changed my attitude to where I am nice to pretty much everyone around me. I don't cold shoulder people but I am careful who I talk to as well at times.

Last night I had the hot girls in my arms and it was cool.. but I couldn't help but notice that the AG would watch me do this and get upset because it isn't her. I mean I should really not give a **** about what she feels because if she was working on her looks I would be attracted to her..but she didn't.

Honestly, it is like these girls want something outside of their league and think they can get it if they keep pushing...

I do think you are right about me coming off like they have a chance. I would hope to think that I am good looking enough to pull hot girls anywhere, so this could be the attitude aspect. May be the hot chicks see AG flirting with me and think that I would settle for her, or that her friend should have some fun? I really don't want to sit here and think about women think, really.

So what kind of a plan can we come up with?

- Be polite to AG's but do not respond to any flirtation.
- DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES THAT WILL BITE YOU IN THE ASS ("i...uhh..have a gf!")

But if she is to advance and tries to go for it, what would you do? again, calling her out on it is a bad idea because you want to still be a "good guy"

bonus points: how do you flip the script to get her to put in a word for you with her HOT girlfriends?

Yesterday what I did was this - she jumped on me and made out with me a bit. I wasn't into it but it wasn't totally bad. I knew she'd tell her friends so I was hoping they'd get interested. I think some did but that could just be because I started talking about sex and what positions they like and all that jazz with them on my lap... still didn't end up getting with the hotties ( time conflict issues)

more input as always appreciated



To narrow it down a bit more: imagine a guy who everyone loves because he is nice and sweet.. but the homely girls KNOW he is only friendly when he is hugging them/giving them backrubs. They know that he wants hot girls and those are the girls they try to set him up with... THAT is what I want to get to.
 
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escobar04

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party??? hot girls????

yeah, some of us dont get invited to those :(
 
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