talking

[dixonnormus]

sup,

I've been shy as fuk since i was in kindergarten. I would only talk to my brother in our language and only when there was nobody else around. This meant that when i became fluent in english later on, i didn't talk to anybody unless they talked to me first and even then i would say fuk all. The thing is, i never tried to get rid of this bad habit until recently (last year) and i find it really hard to maintain conversations with people. i think it might be because i never (fully) developed a way to talk to people when i was younger. So what does one do in a situation like mine? i've tried talking to everybody but i always end up with an awkward silence, and this isn't with strangers, its when i'm talking to classmates.

also, i don't mean talking to just chicks, i don't care about that. i want to be able to talk to people: guy or chick.

 

[floydb25]

You'll have more luck looking for a forum dedicated to social anxiety, anti-social, and shyness.

The main thing is to build confidence, eliminate fear, and grow your self-esteem. Don't worry about what other people think of you. Their acceptance doesn't determine your worth. You won't get along with everybody.

Get involved in activities you enjoy doing that could include other people - like sports. Chat up random strangers for the hell of it - even just to say hi, or make a random comment, or ask a question. People love to talk about themselves. The best conversationalist is a good listener. You'll eventually build your confidence, and feel more comfortable around others.

Also, make yourself presentable - like you're someone who seems interesting, and worth getting to know. Dress nice and take care of your appearance. Don't look so negative or depressed, although that's hard if you're shy. Just look like someone who's enjoying life. Walk tall. Talk a lot.

 

[dixonnormus]

You'll have more luck looking for a forum dedicated to social anxiety, anti-social, and shyness.

the thing is they'll just tell me to "be myself". it's not so much that i'm nervous, its that i can't of anything to say. Sure i was nervous when i first tried talking to people a year ago but thats died down alot.

 

[FairShake]

The only thing worse than awkward silences is ending them.

Most people don't click right away and have silences. They are only awkward if you feel them to be. You seem like you think you have to be constantly talking and entertaining. You don't. Just be interesting and interested and people will talk back.

 

[dixonnormus]

The only thing worse than awkward silences is ending them.

what do you mean? do you mean breaking silences by saying something or breaking them as in saying goodbye to the person and walking away?

 

[floydb25]

He means, making it seem like you HAVE to talk at all times - even when there's silence. This usually happens out of insecurity. Thinking, they're not talking because they don't like you, are bored, and caring too much about it. Instead of just chillin with the person - you feel the need to talk about something constantly. Whenever they act silent - you immediately start talking - thinking its going to make you more interesting and entertaining. When, its just going to annoy them.

Not everyone likes to talk all the time. A lot of hang-outs consist of minimal talking.