"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Talking to target's best friend...eek

Touchout

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Well, there's this HB i've been targeting for a little while and while I know what I'm doing with the girl herself, I don't know how to handle her best friend who is my co-worker. Generally I just try to avoid the topic of the HB, but sometimes it comes up, and sometimes her friend just brings it up. Two examples stick out in my mind which make me think I might have screwed it up:

1. A bunch of us were sitting around talking and rating random people we knew hot or not style. Then her friend asks, "do you think HB is hot?" so I just flat out reply yes. She then says, "even though (blah blah)" (something weird I found out about her) and I immediately answer yes.

2. Me and the HB went out for a simple coffee date, but we have a big date coming up in a few weeks (prom) so her friend asked me if I'm going to try to hook-up with her. I say yes, then immediately regret it so I try to play it off like a joke.


I feel like I showed too much interest in HB through her friend, and even though after each example she goes, "don't worry, I won't tell HB" I know she did. Now HB has gotten much colder to me and even didn't respond to a text yesterday, first time ever. What should I do to save myself?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Interceptor

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First off, yes, you did screw up.
Second, don't think that any advice here is 100% guaranteed and fool proof. That is, try it, but be prepared for the worst.
My advice, play it cool and business as usual.
On Prom Night, be a gentleman and do not act desperate, horny, or get drunk. Stay in control, have fun, SMILE A LOT, and be natural and comfortable around her. She may start to think that you were actually JOKING to her best friend, and then relax when she sees you act like a gentleman with her on prom night, especially since it's so common to use prom night as an initiation for sex.
You have to be prepared to realize you've lost her, and be prepared to not get laid that night.
If you're really, really into her ,you'll play your cards right. (but you're so young, are you sure you want to have a serious romantic relationship with her at that age when you and her don't know your elbow from your ass? Figuratively speaking, of course.)

If you're just infatuated and just want to bang her and leave, then it doesn't matter what you do, you're out. She already knows. You killed the mystery, the seduction,and the chase and challenge out of it.
 

Touchout

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Interceptor said:
First off, yes, you did screw up.
Second, don't think that any advice here is 100% guaranteed and fool proof. That is, try it, but be prepared for the worst.
My advice, play it cool and business as usual.
On Prom Night, be a gentleman and do not act desperate, horny, or get drunk. Stay in control, have fun, SMILE A LOT, and be natural and comfortable around her. She may start to think that you were actually JOKING to her best friend, and then relax when she sees you act like a gentleman with her on prom night, especially since it's so common to use prom night as an initiation for sex.
You have to be prepared to realize you've lost her, and be prepared to not get laid that night.
If you're really, really into her ,you'll play your cards right. (but you're so young, are you sure you want to have a serious romantic relationship with her at that age when you and her don't know your elbow from your ass? Figuratively speaking, of course.)

Good advice, I actually didn't think about that at all, it would make me kind of mysterious because she is expecting me to make moves when I won't. I don't want a serious romantic relationship, I want, at most, a open relationship with no pressures, so it doesn't really matter if i screw it up.



If you're just infatuated and just want to bang her and leave, then it doesn't matter what you do, you're out. She already knows. You killed the mystery, the seduction,and the chase and challenge out of it.
That was kind of what I wanted to do, I'll just have to see how it goes. Should I just not contact her for a while?



On a different note, what should I have said when she asked that second question? the only things which came to my mind were what I said and ,"no we're just friends"
 

saber

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HB obviously used her friend to digg for info and IMO the correct response would have been changing the subject or saying something like "if she plays her cards right" and putting it all back on HB with a joke.

If I were to do damage control I would deny deny deny and make up the best excuse possible before any questions pop up-girls will believe anything as long as it reinforces what she would like to believe assuming this girl is really into u:up:
 

Touchout

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saber said:
HB obviously used her friend to digg for info and IMO the correct response would have been changing the subject or saying something like "if she plays her cards right" and putting it all back on HB with a joke.

If I were to do damage control I would deny deny deny and make up the best excuse possible before any questions pop up-girls will believe anything as long as it reinforces what she would like to believe assuming this girl is really into u:up:

Yea, I agree with you about what to say, honestly it slipped and that was nothing like what I am usually like.


As for denying it, I dunno, maybe I should just say I was joking around with her friend...if it even comes up, so far nothing, she is just more distant than usual. I actually just got a random text from her so I guess that's a plus.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Jason88

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saber said:
HB obviously used her friend to digg for info and IMO the correct response would have been changing the subject or saying something like "if she plays her cards right" and putting it all back on HB with a joke.

If I were to do damage control I would deny deny deny and make up the best excuse possible before any questions pop up-girls will believe anything as long as it reinforces what she would like to believe assuming this girl is really into u:up:
I agree.... Talking to HB's best friend is just like talking to the HB directly. But, follow Interceptor's advice and you should be golden
 
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