"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Talking to a girl who I think has a bf but she was hardcore flirting with me

mattyvv

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What do I do here... she was flirting so hard with me the other night. How do I ask her about her bf if she has it or not, cuz her facebook says shes got a bf. but shes taken theinitiative to IM me a few times now.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Doggystyle

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face book? IM? I'm not sure what this means but i'm guessing its something to do with a chat room on line. I couldnt possibly bring myself ot try and pick up women on the internet, but each to there own.CRINGE!
Any way about the boyfriend issue. Girls in my experience are worse than fellas for cheating on there boyfriends, i'm not saying that from a bitter twisted, "my long term girlfriend cheated on me an left me for dead" point of view cos this never happened. I'm talking about my, many, many, many female friends point of view. The difference between men and women on the cheating front is that the men brag, get caught etc.. and the women keep it to themselves and come off as all innocent etc... even the most unsuspecting of women probably cheat there boyfriends, trust me, they've probably been with me!!! ha ha only kidding. but what i'm saying is even if she has a boyfriend dont let it stop you
 

mattyvv

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response, with more info

ya we know each other from class, and we chat online and chill occasionally... I wanna make a move but dont know how to ask her but if she DOES have a really good BF what she will say, any ideas how to ask this in a non threatening way
 

Doggystyle

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In what ways was she flirting? can you give more detail?
Does IM mean instant message?
any whoo. Dont ask if she has a boyfriend, girls will usually find a way of dropping it into the convosation, if they do, quite early on, thats if they want you to know. Or if they do have a boyfriend and dont give a **** then they probably wont mention it!
Have you met up before in a friends sort of way also?
 

mattyvv

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heres the answer!

Yeah, I got it into the conversation-

Me: yeah I took my gf to the bahamas this year, then it ended lol
hb: oh that sucks
me: yeah what about u, u got anyone?
hb: yeah I have a boyfriend, things are going well but it will probably end soon hes leaving for a semester for australia.
me: oh that sucks

shes def flirting with me online.. showing signs of interest: heres examples right from convo:

HB: yea im dating someone ... he goes here .... its been pretty good as of now. unfortunately will prob end soon b/c he going to austrialia for a semester
(exact quote from convo)

HB:i think i have poison ivy
Me:were u playin down by the river again..I told u not to go there!
HB:hhahaah i did, i walked my friends dog
Me:im sorry to hear that
HB:you should be its allyour fault haha
Me: : no im just sorry because u wont look as cute with poison ivy
HB:lol, hey hey Always cute haha

etc etc

so I dunno what to do here.. any ideas guys?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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ScrewIt

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i dont know where u get the idea that she's flirting with you, but from the chat log you showed...it seems like you're the one flirting with her...

whether or not a girl's interested, the attention you give her will always keep her around.

if youre intersted just make the move man
 

BrotherAP

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You went about this all wrong, thinking-wise. Not saying you messed anything up, just that you spent way too much thinking about something you didn't have to think about at all.

You see, you actually went onto Facebook and researched whether or not she's single, then you tried to nimbly guide the conversation towards you casually asking if she was single or taken. Why so much work!?

All you've got to do is start out with the assumption she is single. Don't even think about a boyfriend. Girls are single until they tell you otherwise. Flirt with her, just a bit, and make your move. If she has a boyfriend she intends to remain faithful to, at that point she'll turn you down and tell you she has a boyfriend. If she says nothing, you are exempt from all responsibility (no matter what her facebook says).

Don't bother with a girl if she does have a boyfriend, but start from the assumption that she doesn't. There's no logical reason to go about it any other way.
 

mattyvv

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thanks man

yeah that makes alot of sense, well I diddent research it, when I found her on facebook I just looked and saw it, wasnt searching for it. the stuff I used in the convo wasnt even the flirting part, she was telling me she was like a sunday school teacher, and she was bad and a sexy latino haha- things that lead me to believe shes looking for another guy cuz she thinks her and her bf are gonna break up soon. But I understand what your saying in terms of assuming shes single. Thanks for the input.
 

Bloke

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I may be wrong, but big time flirts are generally just ****-teases who flirt with everyone.

When she starts hangiing off me all the time & is asking question, that's when I know she wants it for shizzle.
 

Ace of Flames

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Man, i like me a sexy latina girl. Anyway...

I'd keep tabs on this. She could be planning to replace you for her old bf once he's gone. That's good for you, sux for him. But hey, austrailian girls are nice.

Unless like, you dont wanna be "the replacement bf". I imagine that's not the best title out there.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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