Talked to her about STDs. Very Bad Idea

[FutureSpartan]

This was the same girl I lost my virginity to. I basically called her up the next day telling her i had a great time with her.

Later on I started getting concerned about STD's because I did not use a condom. Dumb mistake I know, and I will always wrap it from now on.

Well, my stupid a*s calls her again that day. I told her that I normally wear condoms (white lie) and I was concerned for her and my health. I suggested that we both got tested. She just said "ok" and I let her go.

Well it has not been the same this past week. I invited her over twice and she told me she was too tired/had hw. I backed off and she did not even call me during the weekend. I knew something was wrong because she was always blowing up my phone before we had sex.

I called her up today and she never called back. I think it was safe to assume that by mentioning the whole STD thing I insinuated she was a slut/*****/skank.

I feel really bad about this whole thing because she was sweet and fun girl, we really vibed well together, and to see such a drastic change in her receptiveness just screams "I F*CKED UP"

I sent her a text message
"Look, I know your not gonna call me back and i know it had to do with what I said to you the day after that night. I should not have brought that up and im very sorry. I really enjoy your company and hope we can see eachother again"

If she calls me back, then i'll tell her to put all that behind us and offer to take her out to lunch or something.

What should I do if I dont hear from her?? Since I felt bad was I justified in apologizing?

 

[KontrollerX]

"What should I do if I dont hear from her??"

There's nothing you really can do.

Like you said you fvcked up bigtime.

All you can do is have no contact and if she comes around she comes around.

If not that might be fine as well.

I mean do you really want to have a relationship with an overly sensitive chick thats going to take things way out of proportion?

As for your question on the apology...sure it was a decent thing to do but its still not going to help matters any with an overly sensitive woman. She's still going to feel insulted and like you are rubbing her face in this.

 

[FutureSpartan]

I understand if she does not want to see me anymore. And even though she may be sensitive I dont necessarily think she's overreacting to it. I implied that she had STDs and she simply got offended.

It just frustrates me because I did everything to correct my chumpish behaviors before meeting and laying this girl, and when I finally did everything right...i made myself look like a fool afterwards. I just have a bad habit of saying and doing the wrong things at the wrong time...and yet again, I'll have to take this as a learning experience for next time.

 

[Last Man Standing]

You did nothing wrong so why apologize! She is a hor - she knows it!

 

[Bible_Belt]

I had about your same experience, but spread over a 6-month ltr, and the girl actually gave me an std. When I told her about it, she denied having anything, started treating me like a leper, and ended the ltr very quickly. A woman's decision to have sex with any particular guy is highly emotional and completely illogical. That means it can also be cruel and heartless.

It's logical to talk about STDs, but again we see how logic does not work well with women and sex. For a woman, the mating game is all emotion, and anything that makes her feel less than sexy or attractive hurts your sex life.

 

[FutureSpartan]

I had about your same experience, but spread over a 6-month ltr, and the girl actually gave me an std. When I told her about it, she denied having anything, started treating me like a leper, and ended the ltr very quickly. A woman's decision to have sex with any particular guy is highly emotional and completely illogical. That means it can also be cruel and heartless.

It's logical to talk about STDs, but again we see how logic does not work well with women and sex. For a woman, the mating game is all emotion, and anything that makes her feel less than sexy or attractive hurts your sex life.

This is very true...I was surprised at the complete 180 she pulled. Its like nothing that happened before all this even mattered anymore. All the good emotions I was giving her went out the window after I brought that up. Well, regardless of the outcome, I'll probably thank myself for figuring this out now rather than repeating the same mistake wondering "WTF is going on!"

 

[ketostix]

I totally agree with Bible_Belt's post and while I think asking about the std thing was a bad move, i wouldn't be so sure that alone did it. Lots of times after you hook up with a girl she can change and stop talking to you even if you didn't do anything "wrong". She doesn't seem like she's very decent or sensible.

 

[zerocelcius]

Next time wear a condom and don't put that kinda shame on somebody else.

Go get checked.

 

[FutureSpartan]

I totally agree with Bible_Belt's post and while I think asking about the std thing was a bad move, i wouldn't be so sure that alone did it. Lots of times after you hook up with a girl she can change and stop talking to you even if you didn't do anything "wrong". She doesn't seem like she's very decent or sensible.

since it was my first time, i had serious performance anxiety, and could not come. But we fooled around like crazy and she was insisting on seeing me again.

Somewhere towards the end of the date I put it out there that I was not looking for a committment and wanted to see other girls. maybe she got pissed about that later on.

And then the STD thing was probably what finally set her off.

I was trying to be honest and logical with my intentions but i guess as bible belt says, that will often times hurt your sex life more than it will help.

 

[zerocelcius]

since it was my first time, i had serious performance anxiety, and could not come. But we fooled around like crazy and she was insisting on seeing me again.

Somewhere towards the end of the date I put it out there that I was not looking for a committment and wanted to see other girls. maybe she got pissed about that later on.

And then the STD thing was probably what finally set her off.

I was trying to be honest and logical with my intentions but i guess as bible belt says, that will often times hurt your sex life more than it will help.

You should have been logical and honest with your actions.

 

[IceCream]

Stop trying to think about how she felt and why she might have thrown everything you had with her away. There is no reason to try and figure why it happened for it already did, instead, learn to realize everything she DID.

1) You had sex with her with no condom. (And she let you?)
2) You called her next day suggesting an STD test, and she later rejects the idea and ends up rejecting all your calls. (she is scared to have an STD test? She has had it done already?.. She has STDs)
3) She doesnt answer your calls or texts back. (she's moved on to another ****).

Get checked, she might have given you an STD. And move on.

 

[Jaxon]

Dude don't feel bad about bringing it up. STD's are a reality of life and she can get over it. I'd rather just ask her then constantly be worrying about my d*ck falling off or worse.
I mean come on, you can f*ck her but STD's are taboo? Gimmie a break.

 

[tony-montana]

yeah fuk that. knowing if you got std is more important that some dumb b!tch.

 

[Mandiblard]

It really sounds like she has an STD or STDs. If she was clean she'd try really hard to prove it to you, not back away

 

[Maxtro]

This thread raises and interesting question. At what point in the relationship can you start talking about STD's and getting tested. No guy wants to use a condom all the time but it's a huge gamble to stop using one if you have no idea about your partners history and if she has anything.

Most STD's are permanent, most girls aren't.

 

[Drum&Bass]

If you have sex theres a chance of getting an STD, thats life...THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU DON'T CONTRACT A LIFE THREATENING STD....

talking to someone about STD's AFTER the fact doesn't make the situation better or worse and makes you look like a fuck.

What if she called you up and asked if you had an STD, after having sex with you, what will it change ?? Once you decide to have sex without a condom you made the decision that the person your gonna be intimate with is well enough for you to have sex.

You do sound stupid because if you really were paranoid about STD's your so called logic should have kicked in BEFORE THE FACT.

Maybe you should become a born again christian and NEVER have sex again, that way you won't have to ever worry about being a chump anymore.