"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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talk me out of caving in...

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i was seeing this girl off and on this summer...kind of starting to get attached but she flaked on me several times. always saying it was personal shvt. i finally said screw it, no more. she has a lot of guy friends and i figured she just likes to keep guys around to use them. haven't talked to her for a couple months. recently sends me a message saying this;

"okay you know here's the turth I had family **** going on as well as work **** and I wasn't to happy with **** about me for a chunk of time and you so happen to be in the middle of it cuz you were the only guy I was dating or whatever and I AM SOOOO SORRY things happen the way that they did. I jus didn't feel like I should burden you with my problems so I didn't...."

talk me out of caving into this bullshvt. i kinda liked this girl. she seems innocent, but my gut started telling me she just uses guys. and i know your gut is usually right. i haven't found another girl i really like lately, so i'm tempted to cave in to this crap. she has been really apologic. has said she's sorry several times.

i told here that when she gets through all her personal crap she could give me a call sometime and i'd let her take me out to dinner. she said "fair...but you gotta be over being mad...so maybe you should let me know when that happens...cuz it sure doesn't seem like it will".

well, i have every dam right to be mad. she was late or cancelled at least 3 times on me.

talk me out of caving into this bullshvt.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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yeah, i know i know. i should probably add the detail that she's only 20. girls this age are such a pain in the ass. but the problem is, the pickings are so slim among girls my age.
 

JonJack

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by shaken_not_stirred
yeah, i know i know. i should probably add the detail that she's only 20. girls this age are such a pain in the ass. but the problem is, the pickings are so slim among girls my age.
This is the problem with not being confident with yourself in getting girls of your choice. Any girl that just so happens to cross your path becomes the only one, even if she's flaking or she's LJBFing you.

Here's another thing. You are in no position to be mad. If she decides to cancel, that's her decision, that's her choice. If you can't take that sort of thing, you forget about her and stop having any interest whatsoever to call a girl that cancels and flakes. If you still want her, then you've got to accept this trait of hers.

Bottom line. You have the choice. You either choose to continue with her or you choose to forget her. If you choose to continue, don't go continuing the whole thing and being resentful at the same time, cause you'll just come across as being this guy that chooses to get himself into situations that he complains about.
 
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