Tale of an Unforgettable Oneitis

[jakeyboy]

hey mates... would just like to share my insights with you

maybe some of you have been through this before...

you found this site because of her, that one girl that you thought was perfect for you, she made living in this dog eat dog world seem all that worthwhile

her looks were perfect for you, and you could never dream of loving or liking anyone else but her... she was "the one"

one problem. a big problem, you could never be together with her under circumstances (she didnt like you, she had a boyfriend, you were her big brother or good friend or breakups)

it hurts i know.

no one has to tell you twice it hurts real badly, to have to see her going around with other guys when deep inside you thought that she was made for you

and it hurts even more to know that you pined so much for her and the horrid truth probably is, she doesnt even know you exist. or maybe she does but she doesnt even give a fvck about your existance

so many of us gather here, to learn more from the forum and site, hoping to be enlightened and have a better life as opposed to putting that oneitis up on that pedestal

here's my story of how i got rid of the oneitis... it was a painful journey for me, but i'd just like to let you guys know what it was like for me

yep, to me she was the perfect 10. long brown hair... a surfer babe with a gorgeous tan. maybe she didnt look all that great to people around, but you know oneitis' are always perfect 10s in our eyes

and we had a wonderful relationship. despite limitations, like she was 10 years older than me...

but it worked out fine, perhaps you could say we were deeply in love. she'd care for me when i was in hospital when i was really sick and in the intensive care unit, she even cried...

i could feel the strong bond i had with her... the sex was great, the love was there. we were even planning to live in bali..

but then one day, all that changed.

she got a couple of high paying jobs and suddenly she didnt have time anymore.

and when i asked her about it, she thought i was being insensitive to her feelings and her opportunities. (this was the turning point in the relationship, because she said that by doubting her she could forgive me, but she could never forget that i questioned her before)

but damn, i was only asking a question.. we could talk about things like these before. but now it seemed everything wasnt right, she would find fault with me for the slightest matter

and i knew that sooner or later it would be over. and i was right

one day she said... let's break up

maybe because i was an AFC, i dont know, maybe i called too much, i cared too much, i took what she said too seriously.

but i had to face it, my romance was over

it hurt like fvck

that burning sensation in your eyes, when you try to be a man and ignore it, but the finally hot burning tears just stream down your face and you feel like the world is ending

and it doesnt go away. no matter how much you pray to your god, the hurt remains

for e, it was very difficult to let go... but finally i did

i put all her things into a shoebox and shoved in under my bed

i refuse to throw them away, because they remind me of a time when i was truly happy in my life..

i deleted her numbers from my phone, preventing me from texting her and telling her how much i miss her and all that bull

and i found this place on the road to self improvement, which helped me get over my oneitis,telling me it was pointless to get her back, because she'd stomp on me all over again.

i began hanging out with more friends.. that i had neglected because of chasing that girl...

i got back into shape... working out in the gym, until i was too exhausted to think about her at the end of the day

i put my energy into studying... topping my class for the preliminary examination..

i dont deny that i still think of her somedays, when i'm all alone, and these feelings start pouring in... they're not unhealthy, we all have that special someone we can never forget...

oneitis is not a terminal disease... it can be gotten over slowly, some of us take a longer time than others... you just got to put your heart to it, and you must realize that whatever it is, you can never be with her. ever.

so dont hold on to that "hope constant" (thanks AFK Protector)
becuase if even think you have a glimmer of hope of ever being with the girl, you're never gonna get over her

let it go..

somethings are not meant to be ours, we just got to accept that

you can never force someone to love you, its just not ethical. and if you do, the love is merely a balaclava. fakeness.

and dont give your heart away so easily, before knowing the girl well enough, she just might change from what she was yesterday...

good luck to all getting over oneitis... and thanks to guys on the forum for all the excellent advice you have served to me on a platter.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Dood..you're 19 and she was ten years older than you at 29?

wtf? Limitation is an understatement bro.

Take it as a fun time with an older woman. I couldn't honestly picture a 29 year old professional woman making a sh*t load of money sticking to a 19 year old college fella that lives with mommy and daddy...and planning a life together in bali??...not trying to sound harsh...but the signs are pretty obvious that this story is the stuff cow pattys are made of or she was using you as young meat to make her older self feel young again.

If the latter is the truth...good score bro. Older women rock most definately. And at 19, good experience.

But..if you're lying...man..make up a better lie



But, I like to give the benefit of the doubt.

Way to get off the oneitis trip bro.

 

[AFK Protector]

My oneitis was the best thing that's ever happened to me. That's all I have to say.

 

[jakeyboy]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
Dood..you're 19 and she was ten years older than you at 29?

wtf? Limitation is an understatement bro.

Take it as a fun time with an older woman. I couldn't honestly picture a 29 year old professional woman making a sh*t load of money sticking to a 19 year old college fella that lives with mommy and daddy...and planning a life together in bali??...not trying to sound harsh...but the signs are pretty obvious that this story is the stuff cow pattys are made of or she was using you as young meat to make her older self feel young again.

If the latter is the truth...good score bro. Older women rock most definately. And at 19, good experience.

But..if you're lying...man..make up a better lie



But, I like to give the benefit of the doubt.

Way to get off the oneitis trip bro.

haha yeah the odds were really against us. was really tough. yup, who knows, perhaps it was just a fling for her, come to think of it, she once told me i make her feel young again... she wasnt 29, she was 28, and i was 18. (what difference does it make anyway) hahaa.. .

i wouldnt say it was a good experience on my part, actually i regret knowing her.

then i wouldnt have to go through all the crap of oneitis after the breakup

sure the physical aspect of it was great, but maybe that was all there was to it... anyone out there willing to share your story be my guest.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

My oneitis broke up with me while I was chasing my second college degree. BROKE...NO MONEY...NO SOCiAL LIFE...STUDYING EVEYDAY...she bounced because she was ready to do the marriage thing, go the next step..and I wasn't.

Soo..after we broke up...I started dating A LOT. I was dating all sorts of beautiful sexy women...but..I tried to treat these women like my ex. I one-itis'd these attention wh*res, high main b*tches, man eaters, gold diggers and was total AFC.

I always felt something was missing...I'd get these great looking women..but I'd always end up losing them. They'd be gold digging - I'd pay everytime. They'd be attention wh*res - I told them how beautiful they were. They were high maintenance - I'd spend all my time with them.

Then I did a google search about how to understand women.

I was reading a bunch of AFC sites about how to be love dovey and honor a woman - BLAH!

Then I clicked on a SS website about seduction that peaked my curiosity...then led me here about two years ago as a lurker. Then a poster.

Now I've graduated..making good money..dating the girls I want to be with...and now understand myself and women greatly. In addition to the men's health, anything section, mature man..I've found a place where being a guy with a d*ck and sack is welcomed...rather than being a metrosexual eyebrow plucking fella with a man p*ssy between his legs..

It came full circle a couple months after I bought my pad...saw the original oneitis ex...and KNEW IN MY SOUL that I was BETTER THAN HER...and that I CAN ACTUALLY THANK HER for letting me grow and find myself.

 

[AFK Protector]

Exactly Hypno. My oneitis was the one who sparked my transformation. I'm grateful for that, but that's all.

I forgot to congratulate both of you, so congrats. lol