Taking "Space"

[DJSavvy]

Hi All,

A question for those of you who are into relationships. Is it possible to go out for a long time, (about 3 years) take a mutual "break" and get together again?

If so, anyone who has done this please let me know; how it worked out, how long you went out with your g/f, and how long was the break you took?

Thanks!

 

[WC2]

Most everyone on here will tell you that it doesn't work out. I'd have to agree.

I've taken breaks in relationships because I WANTED to and things have worked out.. at least for the forseeable future. However, when your woman wants to take a break, that is your cue to make a quick getaway. If you suspect your girl wants to take a break just as much as you do, get out. This mutual BS doesn't work. There's always someone who wants the break more than the other. If you're not that person, you're just getting lined up for heartbreak.

 

[DonGorgon]

Space mean room between you two where another dude can get in and F-her. its that simple. Its not so secret code for "your time is up here"

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471&highlight=breaks

 

[MacAvoy]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471&highlight=breaks

You beat me to it LOL

But for humour's sake, how did this break come about? I'm willing to be it was her idea, given that, it makes everything in Joeker's thread even more true.

 

[MacAvoy]

From what I gather about the other threads you've started, your focussing too much on establishing relationships. Your young and should be having fun, not trying to totally settle down.

You've started about 3 threads in the last month and from what I can gather, they all seem to be about different women ( a good thing if thats the case) but your putting too much emotional investment with these women. However if its all the same women, then your really in trouble.

 

[DJSavvy]

lol thanks guys! Yes i have started several posts about relationships- i prefer a relationship to a ONS, or a random hookup, and my previous posts were about other girls. Just a few questions that i've always had, and wanted to get some other opinions on it.

I actually initiated the break, and we stayed apart for a few months. Let me ask everyone, would it be better to stay in touch, or just cut ties completely at a chance of being exclusive again?

 

[DJSavvy]

Sorry to revisit an old thread, and especially come back to one in regards to an EX- but been on my mind.......

Why would a girl who SAYS she wants time/space SHOW that she's still into me? Holds my hand when we're together, make out, acts like when we first started dating around me, smiling. (When I originally broke up in the first place) Don't know if i should pursue or cut contact. I DO want very much to get back with her in the future

 

[SmoothTalker]

Weird creatures aren't they? I have noticed this too.

Be careful though, it very well may be an act. Most likely she is not to impressed with the guys she's gotten since breaking up with you, and is this spinning you as a plate, as we like to say here.

The problem with this is, she can find someone better at any moment, and since the emotions are not genuine interest/love for you, they vanish instantly.

However it's also possible to a lesser extent that she is genuinely still interested in you, in which case you may be able to get back together if you play things perfectly. I think its hard for us to tell if this is true just from your posts.

 

[Ganondorf]

Taking space is Taking space

why do you guys take it so personal? i don get it

lots of crying babies on this forum

 

[SmoothTalker]

Are you kidding me? Its not about taking it personally but about seeing it for what it actually is.

Girls will usually present needing space or taking a break as a simple "I need a week or two away from you for myself and then I'll come back", which it never is.

The important thing to realize is that its actually a breakup and not just 'space', and you're incredibly naive if you don't see this.

 

[DonJuan11]

Hi All,

A question for those of you who are into relationships. Is it possible to go out for a long time, (about 3 years) take a mutual "break" and get together again?

A mutual break for a girl = get out of my face for a while so I can see if there is another guy who can sweep me off my feet in a month and marry me and give me kids. If there isn't, I will have to come back to you. If there is, you can go somewhere.

 

[X-ecution]

Are you kidding me? Its not about taking it personally but about seeing it for what it actually is.

Girls will usually present needing space or taking a break as a simple "I need a week or two away from you for myself and then I'll come back", which it never is.

The important thing to realize is that its actually a breakup and not just 'space', and you're incredibly naive if you don't see this.

not so man

my girl called the break last time, simply because she *gasp* needed space. she was loaded with work, assignments, and family crisis. she still called me all day long, came to see me, and treatted me like her bf. we were us, without the title.

she hardly had time for trying to bang some other guy, like some many here are claiming. it's just the pressure of being in a relationship is real. it does feel different when you're single and talking, instead of being official

needless to say, she came back, saying she never wants a break again.

 

[SmoothTalker]

Ah, well in my opinion titles like 'girlfriend' are irrelevant anyway. If you kept acting exactly the same without the title, then sure, nothing really changed for you.

But if you're acting the same, what was the point?

Besides, your girl had special issues at that time. Most ask for breaks without such reasons.

 

[WC2]

not so man

my girl called the break last time, simply because she *gasp* needed space. she was loaded with work, assignments, and family crisis. she still called me all day long, came to see me, and treatted me like her bf. we were us, without the title.

she hardly had time for trying to bang some other guy, like some many here are claiming. it's just the pressure of being in a relationship is real. it does feel different when you're single and talking, instead of being official

needless to say, she came back, saying she never wants a break again.

Women who take breaks will always say that they're "so busy or having family problems." I feel bad for the individuals who buy into this crap. Think about it. When things are GREAT in a woman's life, the person she needs least is you. She is content with herself. When a woman is down in the dumps and busy with things like school and work, the person she needs most is YOU.

Women often resort to this excuse right away because it sounds sensible and sometimes it is true that they are busy. But please, don't be fooled. A woman who really has the man of her dreams would never risk taking a break over a long period of time. She simply wants the freedom to test the waters and see if anything better is out there. And as men, there is no reason to feel heart broken over this! Almost all women do this even when they have great guys who are great in every aspect (social, emotional, in bed). Girls are just naturally curious.

There's always a chance that your girl was an exception, and if so I applaud you for picking such a great woman. But 99% of the time a real break is a real wakeup call telling you that you are no longer her #1 pick of the litter.

 

[WC2]

Weird creatures aren't they? I have noticed this too.

Be careful though, it very well may be an act. Most likely she is not to impressed with the guys she's gotten since breaking up with you, and is this spinning you as a plate, as we like to say here.

The problem with this is, she can find someone better at any moment, and since the emotions are not genuine interest/love for you, they vanish instantly.

However it's also possible to a lesser extent that she is genuinely still interested in you, in which case you may be able to get back together if you play things perfectly. I think its hard for us to tell if this is true just from your posts.

Either way, when a woman asks for a break it is sign. It's a sign that you are not so high on her todem pole anymore. Will you be back up at the top eventually? Possibly. But why be with a girl who's so volatile long term? Even if you do sweep her off her feet again, you always know that she's not quite grown up enough to settle down. To put it bluntly, she's still looking to ****. And by ****, she's still looking for great sex and other turn ons that she isn't getting in her relationship.

It's a vicious cycle that tortures men.

1. She's swept off her feet
2. You have a long period of great attraction and sex
3. She starts getting bored and curious
4. She asks for a break
5. She most likely doesn't find anything better, or finds something that isn't practical (like an older dude who gave her the **** of her life but obviously she can't date someone 10 years old.. not practical or sociably acceptable)
6. She starts telling you she "loves" you again

And #7 is up to you. Will you take her back? I have before, so I can't sit her and say - Don't ****ing do it! Guess how it ended up? Cycling over and over. So if you can deal with the cycle, so be it. But in my experience it's best to keep her as a F-buddy and skip over most of this cycle. If you're just f-ing her with no emotional attachment, you're getting the best of the cycle. Either that, or just drop the girl totally. She obviously hasn't grown up enough to keep any commitment nor her legs shut.