Taking her friend's advice?

[alloy007]

Girl I'm interested in from work. We've gone out, kissed her. Initially wasn't so smooth with the after-game that next week. Corrected myself. Asked one of her friends for advice. She told me that said girl wasn't quite ready for a relationship yet, but she wasn't sure and that I should take it slowly. She also mention that the girl likes me, but not sure how much.

I'm going to talk to this girl before she leaves for a college tour thing 4-day weekend, I'm going to tell her that I like her. Should I tell her that I can tell she's not ready and that I want to still hang out with her, or just go for the asking her out route?

I don't want to put pressure on her and make her uncomfortable/pull away from me. But I also don't want to miss a chance if I have one.

 

[Tiguere]

Never verbalize your emotions. Actions Use action my friend.

 

[alloy007]

We've already kissed and kino every now and then at work, like play fighting and what not. I'll drop a flirty comment here or there "hate to see her leave, but love to watch her go" or whatever. It's been almost a month. I left notes full of jokes on her car to cheer her up after working the other day, and she seemed amused.

I think I got the action part down.

I told her I'm calling her tonight, that's what I plan to do. (I know, but I already told her I am, and I won't be able to see her for a while anyway.)

 

[VladPatton]

Never ask another girl for advice on girls. Never verbalize your emotions/likes/obsessions to a girl, it'll repel her at the speed of light. So far you did both, this will not head in a good direction.

 

[Iceberg]

We've already kissed and kino every now and then at work, like play fighting and what not. I'll drop a flirty comment here or there "hate to see her leave, but love to watch her go" or whatever. It's been almost a month. I left notes full of jokes on her car to cheer her up after working the other day, and she seemed amused.

I think I got the action part down.

I told her I'm calling her tonight, that's what I plan to do. (I know, but I already told her I am, and I won't be able to see her for a while anyway.)

If you've already kissed her, then what's the point of telling her that you like her? That's kinda obvious isn't it?

And no, you don't have the action part down. All of the actions you've described are those of a clingy boyfriend. Phone calls... Notes on her car... No wonder she's backing away from you. All she had to do was kiss you, and now she has you wrapped around her finger. You're not a challenge.

And as Tiguere said, never verbalize your emotions.

 

[alloy007]

What? I haven't been calling her up all the time, this'll be a first. And oh, I'm sorry, a note. I guess you're right, this is a first for me I guess. Every courtship I've been in recently has been very different and I'm hella inexperienced.

So don't tell her I like her? Not even the hey you're not ready thing?

I just feel it'd be a bad impression if I decided not to call her after asserting that I would. She was offering to text but agreed to the call after I told her that's what I'll do.

 

[VladPatton]

Let her guess what you're gonna do next with uncertainty, it'll keep your unpredictability high. You don't owe her shıt. She wasn't exactly enamored with you after that kiss, so her interest level isn't that high. Leave it alone and find another girl that'll be into you. It sucks, I know, but it'll save your dignity.

 

[Mike32ct]

Never go to her friends for advice about her. EVERYTHING you tell them will go back to her. Plus, women have no respect for a guy that needs relationship "help" or "advice." They expect a guy to know everything.

I did the same thing when I was younger . Live and learn.

 

[Wolfgang D]

"I'm going to tell her that I like her. Should I tell her that I can tell she's not ready and that I want to still hang out with her"

This is a great way of losing a girl.

Stop thinking in terms of "she is leaving for four days, how can I approach her before that?" Four days? Seriously? If she was leaving for four months, that would be something.

The only thing you should do before she leaves, if anything, is suggest she comes with you to have a cup of coffee somewhere. Or better yet, skip the whole thing and wait until next week, or the week after that. Telling her friend that you want to give this girl your heart wrapped in a bow was about the worst thing you could do, so the best thing you can do now is show her that you don't care. Show her that you have enough manliness in you to just go about your daily life without trying to win her attention for a while. That is better than pretty much anything you can do.

Right now your platform has sunk lower than hers. Only indifference will raise it now.

Come back to the issue in two weeks, when I'm sure there will also be new actions - or not - from her side, which will guide you.