Taking Advantage

[jhonny9546]

Tip: She wants you to take advantage of her

I see a lot of guys on here who are in situations where they have a chance with a girl, but they don't escalate with her due to some excuse they invent to make it a less than perfect experience for her. Alcohol is a common one, but there are others, like it being in a car, on a first date...

www.sosuave.net

So, I think I still have this problem with girls.
Sometimes, there are situations where I didn't "take advantage" of certain opportunities, like kissing her, or start something right away. There were just certain circumstances that I missed.
I ask you mature men how you solved this problem.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Tip: She wants you to take advantage of her

I see a lot of guys on here who are in situations where they have a chance with a girl, but they don't escalate with her due to some excuse they invent to make it a less than perfect experience for her. Alcohol is a common one, but there are others, like it being in a car, on a first date...

www.sosuave.net

I ask you mature men how you solved this problem.

By recognizing that this is similar to wit of the stair case https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier Real life isn't a scripted drama, and as such we don't always notice the opportunities which are right in front of us. Doesn't pay to ruminate on such matters

 

[jhonny9546]

Doesn't pay to ruminate on such matters

But to learn on them?
Going back, remember what you've done, and how you could do that differently.

 

[The Duke]

Tip: She wants you to take advantage of her

I see a lot of guys on here who are in situations where they have a chance with a girl, but they don't escalate with her due to some excuse they invent to make it a less than perfect experience for her. Alcohol is a common one, but there are others, like it being in a car, on a first date...

www.sosuave.net

So, I think I still have this problem with girls.
Sometimes, there are situations where I didn't "take advantage" of certain opportunities, like kissing her, or start something right away. There were just certain circumstances that I missed.
I ask you mature men how you solved this problem.

It depends on why you missed the opportunities. Do you lack situational awareness? Are you not good at reading women? Do you talk too much? Do you think too much? Do you lack confidence? Are you not a leader in your relationships?

When I first started I wasn't great at reading women nor picking up on their subtleties. They are indirect many times when it comes to showing sexual openness/desire and are turned off if they have to spell it out for you. Eventually you learn to decode them. Its solid awareness that helps that process take place.

I'm certain by the personality you display on this forum that you miss opportunities because you think too much.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Do you talk too much?

Asking an Italian such a question is similar to asking a member of The Navajo nation "Are you and your entire family drunkards?"

 

[Vanderdonck]

Tip: She wants you to take advantage of her

I see a lot of guys on here who are in situations where they have a chance with a girl, but they don't escalate with her due to some excuse they invent to make it a less than perfect experience for her. Alcohol is a common one, but there are others, like it being in a car, on a first date...

www.sosuave.net

So, I think I still have this problem with girls.
Sometimes, there are situations where I didn't "take advantage" of certain opportunities, like kissing her, or start something right away. There were just certain circumstances that I missed.
I ask you mature men how you solved this problem.

Just go for it. If she is alone with you, most likely she is expecting you to make a move. If she denies you, it's not a big deal, carry on.

We've all missed opportunities. When I was a teen/early 20s I was more oblivious. As I got older I missed fewer but on occasion I psyched myself out. Nowadays I just go for it.

 

[jhonny9546]

you think too much.

What if I think too much because of another issue?


Do you lack situational awareness? Low experience, Yes
Are you not good at reading women? I was. Now I'm Improving, but need more experience.
Do you talk too much? No
Do you think too much? Yes
Do you lack confidence? Yes/No. I haven't in certain situation, but have in some others.
Are you not a leader in your relationships? I don't like to impose my thinking like a dictature, but most of LTR are based on the man being the dictator. Imposing my thinking would be like being mentally closed.

 

[Vanderdonck]

What if I think too much because of another issue?


Do you lack situational awareness? Low experience, Yes
Are you not good at reading women? I was. Now I'm Improving, but need more experience.
Do you talk too much? No
Do you think too much? Yes
Do you lack confidence? Yes/No. I haven't in certain situation, but have in some others.
Are you not a leader in your relationships? I don't like to impose my thinking like a dictature, but most of LTR are based on the man being the dictator. Imposing my thinking would be like being mentally closed.

Are you dealing with Italian girls? To be fair they can be difficult. I had one ask me if I wanted to be slapped (and not in a good way) when I went for a kiss. That was a hard next.

 

[BaronOfHair]

What if I think too much because of another issue?

Social anxiety, most likely. I say this as someone who has difficulty with it myself

 

[jhonny9546]

Are you dealing with Italian girls?

I do live in Italy, so yes. You had the experience

Social anxiety, most likely. I say this as someone who has difficulty with it myself

Ok does this have an "hardware" cause (like my height) or a "software" one (like a trauma or so?)
Curious about yours! Tell more

 

[The Duke]

What if I think too much because of another issue?


Do you lack situational awareness? Low experience, Yes
Are you not good at reading women? I was. Now I'm Improving, but need more experience.
Do you talk too much? No
Do you think too much? Yes
Do you lack confidence? Yes/No. I haven't in certain situation, but have in some others.
Are you not a leader in your relationships? I don't like to impose my thinking like a dictature, but most of LTR are based on the man being the dictator. Imposing my thinking would be like being mentally closed.

So your biggest problem is you are in your head thinking about what to do and not taking action and likely second guess yourself. So the next time you catch yourself thinking too much, stop yourself and take physical action.

Your success hinges on having more experiences. Get out and socialize with groups of people more often.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Ok does this have an "hardware" cause (like my height) or a "software" one (like a trauma or so?)

Most likely both. The terrific news though is that understanding "the cause" isn't a pre-requisite to overcoming the obstacle

 

[Vanderdonck]

That's weird. I always had Italian women asking me if I would spank them after I kiss them. Maybe it's the kissing technique.

Maybe it was lost in translation.

Funny thing was, she seemed really into me but somewhere I took a wrong turn with her. Later on I noticed on her Whatsapp profile pic that within less than a year, it changed to a photo of her and her groom getting married. Within a few months of that, pregnant. She was hunting for something, guess I wasn't it. Was definitely in that mid 30s range for tying down a man. (Again, not in the fun way.)

 

[jhonny9546]

Your success hinges on having more experiences. Get out and socialize with groups of people more often.

Actually I am trying to swap career and get one which I have contact with people, or better, administrate em (like buildings administration or HR)

Most likely both. The terrific news though is that understanding "the cause" isn't a pre-requisite to overcoming the obstacle

Which is the good news?