Taking a break from DJ

[Jifto]

Since my breakup 7 weeks ago I've been doing little else other than lifting, meditating, working my ass off, and reading. My reading has consisted of this forum and a slew of red pill books.

Now that the sting of the breakup is gone, I just feel depressed. The stuff is tough to read at times. It really cuts away that fantasy of women and relationships and makes me realize all the times I f'd up in the past. (I guess that's why they call it the red pill!)

But unlike Neo, I don't know kungfu. Instead, I'm just depressed and exhausted. I'm trying to figure out if I need to just take a break from the whole monk mode, just this forum, or what...but I gotta get out of this funk.

I've also noticed one other thing has happened that I have noticed happening to others on this forum:
The need to ask permission from this group, or seek validation from this group before or after doing something with a women.

That shouldn't be the case, but it permeates this forum!

 

[wifehunter]

Since my breakup 7 weeks ago I've been doing little else other than lifting, meditating, working my ass off, and reading. My reading has consisted of this forum and a slew of red pill books.

Now that the sting of the breakup is gone, I just feel depressed. The stuff is tough to read at times. It really cuts away that fantasy of women and relationships and makes me realize all the times I f'd up in the past. (I guess that's why they call it the red pill!)

But unlike Neo, I don't know kungfu. Instead, I'm just depressed and exhausted. I'm trying to figure out if I need to just take a break from the whole monk mode, just this forum, or what...but I gotta get out of this funk.

I've also noticed one other thing has happened that I have noticed happening to others on this forum:
The need to ask permission from this group, or seek validation from this group before or after doing something with a women.

That shouldn't be the case, but it permeates this forum!

Think of this place as a hospital, with most people still in recovery.

 

[Serenity]

I've also noticed one other thing has happened that I have noticed happening to others on this forum:
The need to ask permission from this group, or seek validation from this group before or after doing something with a women.

That shouldn't be the case, but it permeates this forum!

Yes it does, it's interesting how little forums actually help. You still have to decide if some piece of advice is good or bad, so ultimately you gotta figure things out by yourself anyways. When asking for validation, how would you really know who to listen to and who to go against?

You might as well have done the same without all the added noise of everyone's varying opinions. This forum is really a burden and a source of self doubt rather than simplicity and confidence.

 

[soulforge]

I find this too.. It's almost like some of us have lost the power of decision making.. We doubt ourselves too much..

Even when you do get the advice/validation you seek..

You then question yourself, wether you took on board the correct advice or the wrong advice!

 

[resilient]

I think if I didn't read posts and use the support system of the NC thread, I would have suffered longer emotionally and mentally "trauma" post-break up with a main plate earlier this year.

Messaging some top DJs here helped me get some valuable feedback in the gym and nutrition regime that helped me stick to the process of gaining 24 pounds these last few months. I only had one coworker that gave a crap about what I was trying to accomplish.

I got some great advice earlier too about improving on the guitar.

I do get turned off by the negativity or personal feuds that happen on here sometimes. I do recognize often enough it's just passion doing the talking. For the most part, I think we're a brotherhood of sorts that want to help each other succeed in life beyond just women.

Figure out what you really need OP. Journal all the thoughts that you're thinking about. Whatever comes to you. You don't have to take everything literally too. Often, I take things or advice with a grain of salt.

In the end, our own intuition has to sort/filter the logic with sound reasoning. That gets better with age, maturity, and wisdom.

Good luck.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Since my breakup 7 weeks ago I've been doing little else other than lifting, meditating, working my ass off, and reading. My reading has consisted of this forum and a slew of red pill books.

Now that the sting of the breakup is gone, I just feel depressed. The stuff is tough to read at times. It really cuts away that fantasy of women and relationships and makes me realize all the times I f'd up in the past. (I guess that's why they call it the red pill!)

But unlike Neo, I don't know kungfu. Instead, I'm just depressed and exhausted. I'm trying to figure out if I need to just take a break from the whole monk mode, just this forum, or what...but I gotta get out of this funk.

I've also noticed one other thing has happened that I have noticed happening to others on this forum:
The need to ask permission from this group, or seek validation from this group before or after doing something with a women.

That shouldn't be the case, but it permeates this forum!

Can you recommend a few good red pill books?

 

[bigneil]

Since my breakup 7 weeks ago I've been doing little else other than lifting, meditating, working my ass off, and reading. My reading has consisted of this forum and a slew of red pill books. Now that the sting of the breakup is gone, I just feel depressed.

Wow, you and I broke up nearly the same exact day (June 23 for me). You're on the right path of self improvement. By the time she comes back you won't want her back. Also, I read that 6-8 weeks is the most likely time your ex will reach out, so watch out for dump echo when they come back and say "Do you still love me?" and you say yes and they say "I was just checking!" and they dump you forever.

Did you go on any other dates?

"There's one thing in life, and it isn't hard for me to do.
That's as soon as I kiss the lips of another woman,
I'm going to forget all about you."

- Marshall Tucker in This 'Ol Cowboy

 

[Roober]

The problem is your mindset... you have replaced your neediness from your ex with neediness for SoSuave. You are not truly working on yourself as you should be... I don't know how to properly explain this without monologing on and on and on and on...

Long story short... Sosuave and DJ stuff gives you the tools, it is up to you how to use them...

For example, to use myself...
-4-6 weeks post-breakup, I read like crazy, spent countless hours on the forum, etc etc... I didn't read "red pill" books, but more self-improvement books...
-At some point, I realized how I needed to improve... the tools and confidence found here could be utilized...
-How have I changed? My goal has been to constantly feed myself, and free myself of time-wasters (time here is debatable)...

1. Work - stopped taking lunch breaks, focused on developing training programs that help me improve, push for training for my career and/or self-improvement
2. Home - I do not watch TV at all, do not use social media, and do not waste time on meaningless areas (used to spend hours on 49ers message boards)
3. Commute - listen to podcasts. That is 1 hour per day to "feed" myself (30 mins each way)
4. Women - i pretty much spend time with only one woman, and I enjoy it
5. Friends - Don't spend time with friends that don't help me
6. Sex - it is not just about blowing your load. There is so much more, and it will change your encounters dramatically.

Basically, the goal is to revolve your life around feeding and improvement. Once my divorce finalizes (if my ex quits dragging it out), I intend to use my savings/net worth to start a business. I have so many ideas... 3 different apps, 2 books, camping business, male improvement business, restaurant, etc....

Your time here needs to be spent wisely! You need to filter the....
1. intelligent from the unintelligent responses
2. responses which don't align with your values
This is generally easy to do...