Taking a break/breaking up due to school/work/family issues...

[strong like bull]

what do you guys think about taking break in relationships?
is it always a sign of the relationship going down the tube, or is it something that could come back around?

my girlfriend and i have had a great 8 mos together. no regrets... but were at a point now where shes a full-time student, part time job, sports and has serious family issues goin' on. i could see it coming... shes been very overwhelmed lately and has little time for herself, let alone us. her schedules gonna be this way for the next 5 months. ive been in the game long enough to say that i honestly dont think she wants the break because of another man. i genuinely know she still loves me. but i know with her schedule and mine we really dont have time to commit anymore.

she brought it up; i played it cool and told her that i respect her decision and i agree its not fair to either of us. if it was meant to be we'd cross paths again down the road... and left it at that.

she text me later that night and told me she loved me and goodnight. i didnt respond.. she text me the next morning and told me she couldnt sleep at all that night and didnt want to lose me forever... i didnt respond.

im looking at it in a positive way; i need to focus on myself more and accomplish my goals and not be distracted for a while. she needs to do the same.

im not upset or resentful or anything like that... but do breaks ever come back around positively? i took her virginity and i know she cares about me, and shes honestly the only girl (and ive had lots ) ive thought about keeping around, moving in together or even marrying...

obviously im not gonna play the fool and hold my breath.. and if a good opportunity comes my way i might take it.. but whats the best way to handle these types of situations?

for better or worse, i wouldnt be opposed to focusing on myself for the next 5-6 months and if it happened that our schedules freed up and we had time to commit, pickin' up where we left off as i think we'd both be much more prepared for a solid commitment then. for what its worth, she was upfront about her school and family and career issues, and i saw and felt them before she told me. i could see her gettin' more and more stressed, due to these things. nothing that i was doin' wrong. her actions and her words have been 100% congruent throughout our 8months of a monogamous relationship, up to and including now.

thoughts?

-SLB

 

[aliasguy]

-
--

You've handled it well, but when a woman says "break" it MEANS something. And you already know what it IS, don't you? Your responses to her were EXACTLY right, but for some reason, you want to deny the TRUTH to yourself. I think you'll be ok. Just let go of this one. She's gone. To whatever ---freedom, another guy, whatever.Who knows, who cares.

Get another, or even better, a few other girls.

-
--

 

[KontrollerX]

I think you are handling it the correct way Strong Like Bull and if your gut instinct is telling you that the break is not because of someother guy than its probably not because of someother guy and a genuine need for her to have space.

So yeah though definitely don't wait around for her and go on with your life and if ultimately she comes back around and you are available then hey go for her if you want her then. Maybe you'll have one of those great situations where everything works out in the end.

Oh and even though it may not directly apply to your situation considering what you have told us I'm still gonna give you a link to joekerr's great thread on "breaks" just so you can have an entertaining read and maybe pick up something from his post that you may of possibly missed with your own thoughts on things.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471&highlight=breaks

 

[zzeitgeist]

wish i handled my last break up as well as you did this one.. though mine was 4 year LTR and I lived with the girl and she was also a virgin hah..

but iam gonna agree with the above poster, I don't believe a girl breaks up with a guy just because shes busy. She could however, want to explore other options and see if the grass is greener somewhere else.

Theres a good chance you two will still hook up if you don't contact her like you been doing for some time 2+ months.

Good luck man

 

[Effington]

Sounds like you handled it well. From my experience, the drama queens that overwhelm themselves always have something coming up every which way. Sounds like one of my best friends in the world, who's seriously the most fun person to hang out with ever. We were hooking up for awhile when I was in college, but damn, this girl did not know how to manage her life. Between dramatic events in her family on a weekly basis, serious issues with school and teachers (never her fault, of course!), work, and trying to see me, it was never a dull moment.

I keep thinking, "Ok, maybe bad timing, right?" That was over four years ago. We still talk regularly, and we hooked up a couple months ago--which was the last time she was able to get out for a night. But nothing has changed, her life is still a maelstrom of drama.

 

[DonJuan11]

It sounds like you know what you're doing because I think more than half the people on this site would have responded to both texts in 5 seconds, me included.

Good job bro.