Taken Girl at Church: Im Lost!

[slickaz]

ok so im a drummer at my Church, theres 6 bands that are on rotation every sunday.
Shes a singer, lead singer on one of them.

I get to play on diff bands because theres 4 drummers, 6 bands..so we have to play more than one band.

anyway..ive known her for about 6 years.
she used to chubby, and i never foud her that hot.

then she went away for 2 years, came back looking hott.
she has a bf now.

me and her:
She has always! given me ALOT of eye contact, and alot of attention.
everytime i look at her, i catch her lookin at me, then she'll look away.

so one day, i wore a hat just low enough that ppl standing further away cants ee my eyes.
every 2 or so mins id look at her and she'd actually look at me..stare for about 30 seconds, then look away, then look at me again.

i dunno what to do, coz she looks gorgeous,, shes got a sexxxy voice and she has a bf.

oh before i forget:
When she just came back from her 2 year hiatus, she called me up and asked if she can have drumming classes , she's a music teacher she doesnt know how to play the drums.

so i said no probs come over.

she did. i helped her out. lot of kino etc she seemed to love it.
i was gonna make dinner for both of us, turns out dinner didnt really work out well..
she said she wants to take me to dinner.

how do i play this?
should i do it?
her bf is never! around..

 

[brian123]

Since her BF is never around, I am guessing that you are her stand in BF. You take over many of the responsibilities that he does, but without any of the benefits.

Personally, I'd break it to her like this. I'd say hey, I really like spending time with you alot, and hope that we can always be friends, but I feel kind of strange doing dinners and stuff alone with you when you have a BF. If she really likes you, she will ditch the guy for you. If not, you still have a friend, but you didn't waste any of your time.

 

[slickaz]

Hey dude..thanks for the advice.

yeh id never be played for a fool..no way.

im currently sort of busy with 4 plates consistently on rotation.
so im not sure if i want to add her.

thing is, i think she is looking for a bf, im not ready to be locked down.

her bf is no competition to me, if i wanted her i could snatch her away.

also, we have never had or been in a situation where "you and me" convo has happened. and at the moment we're more so friends with regular flirting.
and from her side i see alot of attention and eye contact, smiles etc.

my question is:
if i was to go there with her i dunno if itll affect my rapport at Church.
she got a bf.
i dont wanna tap it and gap it mainly because she's from Church.

i shouldnt do this should i..lol

has this happened to you?
girl thats takken, gives you alot of attn, you dont wanna be her bf, but you are feelin to get some of that b00ty..maybe once..but you shouldnt..its almost like tappin chix at work i suppose

 

[brian123]

Hey dude..thanks for the advice.

yeh id never be played for a fool..no way.

im currently sort of busy with 4 plates consistently on rotation.
so im not sure if i want to add her.

thing is, i think she is looking for a bf, im not ready to be locked down.

her bf is no competition to me, if i wanted her i could snatch her away.

also, we have never had or been in a situation where "you and me" convo has happened. and at the moment we're more so friends with regular flirting.
and from her side i see alot of attention and eye contact, smiles etc.

my question is:
if i was to go there with her i dunno if itll affect my rapport at Church.
she got a bf.
i dont wanna tap it and gap it mainly because she's from Church.

i shouldnt do this should i..lol

has this happened to you?
girl thats takken, gives you alot of attn, you dont wanna be her bf, but you are feelin to get some of that b00ty..maybe once..but you shouldnt..its almost like tappin chix at work i suppose

I am in a similar situation to you at the same moment. If you already have 4 plates, then I'd say you are doing well. And if you don't want her has a gf, personally Id keep her as a backup plate. Her bf has her locked down from getting any other guys, but you see her alot, so it seems like she is always there if you need her. And let's face it, with 4 plates you are doing ok as it is.

In my personal situation, I am also gaming a girl from church. I am not that religious at all, but am more worried about my rapport in the church as well. My cousin is the pastor there (the only reason I go) and again while I am not the religious type, my 1st cousin is my 1st cousin and I don't want to turn his church into a dating service. He's obviously family and has + will always be there for me like a brother. I am trying to game a girl, but have to play things differently because she is new to our church. It's not some girl I met at a bar where I game her for a week or two and move on if things don't work out. People will talk, and she will likely keep coming back to church so I'd have to put up with that. So I am more worried about how things will affect him + me at church and not the girl, so that is my situation.

If you are worried about your rapport in church, I'd again take it slow with her. People in church talk. And once they find out you did this, people most likely will hear.

 

[slickaz]

yeh i feel you.

i mean in my situation, i know! if i did anything with her and bounced, it will cause alot of damage at the way people at Church see me.

I mean i go to Church because i want to and i believe but i dont want to turn it into a dating service either.

unfortunatly for me, in the past, there was one girl that i tapped and gapped from, who went to the Church, i have lost many many many good friends from Church due to the actions from that one night like 4 years ago.

so im not realy tied into the Church's youth anymore as they pretty much avoided me. i didnt do it on purpose, in my defence we dated, i bounced when she said she was going to do m issionary wory overseas for a year.

then she decided not to go but tell everyone what i did..i didnt bother fixing it because her word against mine.lol.

anyway moving on, yeh i keep myself busy with God, Family, Work, business, money, friends, car and the plates.
but this chic is pretty and she keeps givin me attn..it kinda makes me wanna go there.lol..but i learnt from my past so maybe i shouldnt.


in yourcase: if you want my advice..honestly..
if you're looking for a steady LTR, then go for it. Church girls are looking for LTRs not ONS.
but if you're lookin to hit it n quit it..then dont.,lol. itll look bad on you, your Church and ultimately your cousin.lol.

people at Church talk..and they keep talkin..its like they have their own news service..lol..so just becareful.. now if i could only take my own advice!.lol..
na man im gonna stay clear of her until im happy to settle i think..

let my plates fall then lock onto one.
however, there is one plate that im startin to really like..she's an easy 9, good job and good character. very calm and no drama as of yet. plus she's amazing in bed..she's starting to show alot of affection and im feelin it..so i dunno..i may have to drop 2 other plates and keep 2.lol

 

[brian123]

yeh i feel you.

i mean in my situation, i know! if i did anything with her and bounced, it will cause alot of damage at the way people at Church see me.

I mean i go to Church because i want to and i believe but i dont want to turn it into a dating service either.

unfortunatly for me, in the past, there was one girl that i tapped and gapped from, who went to the Church, i have lost many many many good friends from Church due to the actions from that one night like 4 years ago.

so im not realy tied into the Church's youth anymore as they pretty much avoided me. i didnt do it on purpose, in my defence we dated, i bounced when she said she was going to do m issionary wory overseas for a year.

then she decided not to go but tell everyone what i did..i didnt bother fixing it because her word against mine.lol.

anyway moving on, yeh i keep myself busy with God, Family, Work, business, money, friends, car and the plates.
but this chic is pretty and she keeps givin me attn..it kinda makes me wanna go there.lol..but i learnt from my past so maybe i shouldnt.


in yourcase: if you want my advice..honestly..
if you're looking for a steady LTR, then go for it. Church girls are looking for LTRs not ONS.
but if you're lookin to hit it n quit it..then dont.,lol. itll look bad on you, your Church and ultimately your cousin.lol.

people at Church talk..and they keep talkin..its like they have their own news service..lol..so just becareful.. now if i could only take my own advice!.lol..
na man im gonna stay clear of her until im happy to settle i think..

let my plates fall then lock onto one.
however, there is one plate that im startin to really like..she's an easy 9, good job and good character. very calm and no drama as of yet. plus she's amazing in bed..she's starting to show alot of affection and im feelin it..so i dunno..i may have to drop 2 other plates and keep 2.lol

Thanks for the advice bro.

I guess the best advice I can give you now is exactly what you gave me. If you don;t want a LTR (which you said you don't) then stay away from those church girls. You've already lost friends. IMHO, friends are more important than a 1 night thing. Would it really be worth it for you.

I am a pretty busy guy, and honestly would much rather have a LTR than an 1 night thing, but church girls seem to be pretty though to gauge (harder with KINO etc...) I've never "gamed one" before, so I don't really know how to act.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Here's an asignment for you. Go to your church (or your family's church if you don't go regular) and take mental notes of all the women you see there. Be real particular as far as appearances go and any conversations you can eavesdrop in on, paying particular attention to statements about personal lives or issues that may relate to their opinions of dating or marriage. You will begin to see consistent patterns present themselves. A lot of Christian women follow very predictable schemas. Most will be overweight (as you said this one was), most will shun direct discussions about sex, most will expect to be married (often early in life), most will complain about there being a lack of 'marriageable' men with sufficient dedication to women as it should be their duty to do so.

Those not overweight will tend to be wallflowers (or self-perceived wallflowers) or 'recovering sluts' in church for the first time in a while wanting to make a fresh start. One unifying understanding that virtually all of them will have will be a belief in a ONE (ONEitis) predestined husband ordained for them and will respond to the soul-mate myth accordingly. This is also a manifestation of the 'entitlement' dynamic which is rife in almost every religious group, not just Christianity.

I think it's funny that when she was 'chubby' you weren't interested, but 2 years and a lower body fat percentage makes her hot. Men will almost universally place attractiveness above personal beliefs initially, otherwise you wouldn't get to the point of considering how they would affect a potential relationship with someone you are attracted to as opposed to someone you weren't attracted to. For instance, your principles would be compromised because of their nature.

 

[Fleshy99]

Here's an asignment for you. Go to your church (or your family's church if you don't go regular) and take mental notes of all the women you see there. Be real particular as far as appearances go and any conversations you can eavesdrop in on, paying particular attention to statements about personal lives or issues that may relate to their opinions of dating or marriage. You will begin to see consistent patterns present themselves. A lot of Christian women follow very predictable schemas. Most will be overweight (as you said this one was), most will shun direct discussions about sex, most will expect to be married (often early in life), most will complain about there being a lack of 'marriageable' men with sufficient dedication to women as it should be their duty to do so.

Those not overweight will tend to be wallflowers (or self-perceived wallflowers) or 'recovering sluts' in church for the first time in a while wanting to make a fresh start. One unifying understanding that virtually all of them will have will be a belief in a ONE (ONEitis) predestined husband ordained for them and will respond to the soul-mate myth accordingly. This is also a manifestation of the 'entitlement' dynamic which is rife in almost every religious group, not just Christianity.

I think it's funny that when she was 'chubby' you weren't interested, but 2 years and a lower body fat percentage makes her hot. Men will almost universally place attractiveness above personal beliefs initially, otherwise you wouldn't get to the point of considering how they would affect a potential relationship with someone you are attracted to as opposed to someone you weren't attracted to. For instance, your principles would be compromised because of their nature.

Great analysis man.

 

[MANG]

Take your hat off in church.
thats my advice

 

[TheRealSupreme]

ok so im a drummer at my Church, theres 6 bands that are on rotation every sunday.
Shes a singer, lead singer on one of them.

I get to play on diff bands because theres 4 drummers, 6 bands..so we have to play more than one band.

anyway..ive known her for about 6 years.
she used to chubby, and i never foud her that hot.

then she went away for 2 years, came back looking hott.
she has a bf now.

me and her:
She has always! given me ALOT of eye contact, and alot of attention.
everytime i look at her, i catch her lookin at me, then she'll look away.

so one day, i wore a hat just low enough that ppl standing further away cants ee my eyes.
every 2 or so mins id look at her and she'd actually look at me..stare for about 30 seconds, then look away, then look at me again.

i dunno what to do, coz she looks gorgeous,, shes got a sexxxy voice and she has a bf.

oh before i forget:
When she just came back from her 2 year hiatus, she called me up and asked if she can have drumming classes , she's a music teacher she doesnt know how to play the drums.

so i said no probs come over.

she did. i helped her out. lot of kino etc she seemed to love it.
i was gonna make dinner for both of us, turns out dinner didnt really work out well..
she said she wants to take me to dinner.

how do i play this?
should i do it?
her bf is never! around..

Let me get this right.

Uhhh your in a church. A house of god.

You are crushing on a female within this house of god.

She has a man. She is with another man. She isn't married within the eyes of god but she has another man that she is beholden too.

All of this within the house of god.

And you want to usurp this other man's woman. You want to steal his woman from him because he is smart enough to stay out of the house of god with his wicked ways.

You want to steal her and do what? Study the bible with her?

Walk around and hold hands and praise Jesus?

Why are you in church again?

In fact why is a church boy doing on a forum for being a Don Juan? Is this ok in the eyes of god?

Or are you a low sneaky player who is hunting within the house of god like that movie where they snook into funerals?

If so play on playa.

But in the area of stealing other men's women it is a crazy world out there. Out here in Cali...a few months back there were 2 wrongful deaths over ex boyfriends who couldn't handle it.

So are you going to carry the sword of god with you as protection?

Maybe you should put this site into practice and get out of that environment and learn to find a woman without stealing another man's stuff.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Lo doth thou behold thine friend and brother. He has slept under your roof, he has eaten your food, he has drank your wine and he shall betray you.

 

[slickaz]

Here's an asignment for you. Go to your church (or your family's church if you don't go regular) and take mental notes of all the women you see there. Be real particular as far as appearances go and any conversations you can eavesdrop in on, paying particular attention to statements about personal lives or issues that may relate to their opinions of dating or marriage. You will begin to see consistent patterns present themselves. A lot of Christian women follow very predictable schemas. Most will be overweight (as you said this one was), most will shun direct discussions about sex, most will expect to be married (often early in life), most will complain about there being a lack of 'marriageable' men with sufficient dedication to women as it should be their duty to do so.

Those not overweight will tend to be wallflowers (or self-perceived wallflowers) or 'recovering sluts' in church for the first time in a while wanting to make a fresh start. One unifying understanding that virtually all of them will have will be a belief in a ONE (ONEitis) predestined husband ordained for them and will respond to the soul-mate myth accordingly. This is also a manifestation of the 'entitlement' dynamic which is rife in almost every religious group, not just Christianity.

I think it's funny that when she was 'chubby' you weren't interested, but 2 years and a lower body fat percentage makes her hot. Men will almost universally place attractiveness above personal beliefs initially, otherwise you wouldn't get to the point of considering how they would affect a potential relationship with someone you are attracted to as opposed to someone you weren't attracted to. For instance, your principles would be compromised because of their nature.

:kick: :cuss:

You're only toooooo right dude..

Plus

Lo doth thou behold thine friend and brother. He has slept under your roof, he has eaten your food, he has drank your wine and he shall betray you.

Plus

She has a man. She is with another man. She isn't married within the eyes of god but she has another man that she is beholden too.

All of this within the house of god.

= She is off my list.


PS: I never had major interest in her until i noticed her constantly looking at me, hugging me and giving me more attention than the other guys get.
she knows im the bad boy of the bunch, coz i go out i have a blast, i hv a bad history with girls at that Church. i dunno..

either way this topic is closed, she is off my list.. lol

 

[brian123]

Good for you man. We need to have a thread on gaming church girls though. They seem to be a different breed.