"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Take risks, lots of them

Evzone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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In my dating experience, I have only been turned down for a date once. I am not writing this to brag. I am writing this because it is a problem. The one time that I was turned down was during my junior year of high school asking a girl to prom.

Why is only getting turned down once a problem? It means I haven’t taken enough risks. After that one time, at some level deep down, it stuck with me. I took less shots. Granted, as time went on, I entered college, my confidence increased, ect., my general social skills increased as well, so my overall chance of success improved. The point is though, don’t worry about failure so much. Read The Psychology of Investing. Getting shot down is part of the game, and you do in fact learn from it. The most that I have learned about relationships and life in general were from times when things were not working out well, because it forces you to analyze things and see how you can improve.

You’re not going to get to that point unless you put yourself out there and start taking some risks.

It’s easier to gloss over this text on SoSuave.com, think you’ve learned it, maybe read some articles, and then play some Starcraft (I’m old school) or Call of Duty 4. You can’t do that anymore. The real learning does not happen on this website. It happens out in the field. Some quotes:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” –Aristotle

“Being unconquerable lies with yourself; being conquerable lies with the enemy.” –Sun Tzu, The Art of War, Chapter 4.

When I got out and pushed myself, things improved. Better yet, when my friends pushed me to approach a group of girls at a party on my own when I didn’t feel like it or didn’t feel like I had anything clever to say, I improved. It’s all about putting yourself out there.

“Hey, everyone having a good time tonight?” That’s all it is.

I’m not entirely sure if I know what a date is. Usually when I find a girl that interests me outside of just a random party hookup, I’ll grab some dinner with her or something to see if there is any deeper connection. Is that technically date? Maybe…hell I don’t know, and I don’t really care either.

Seriously, get out there, turn the computer off—give YouTube, Call of Duty or whatever it is a break for at least a week—turn the television off, put the books down, and go to work. Hit the gym, not just to improve your health, but as a social thing. It’s good and healthy to be among people. Go to parties. Stand out at parties. Be that guy. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past. There should only be two things that matter to you, and that is today and tomorrow. Every moment you have an opportunity to approach is a time when you can either accept mediocrity and whatever societal role that you’re in, or when you can decide that just being average isn’t enough for you and that you are going to do what it takes to make it. Your future is decided by those moments.




…



What are you still reading this for? Nobody ever won any battles reading Internet forums all day…
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jon55

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2007
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So true.
 

Interceptor

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
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Location
Florida
Remember, that we fear is actually what we need to conquer.

You can't run away from your 'shadow'.

You can run away all day long...

...but you will never get away from the lesson you are supposed to learn.

You can hide it.
You can try to forget it.
You can try to ignore it.
You can stuff it all the way down so you can pretend it's not even there...

But then you turn it into a MONSTER.
Monsters are only real if you make them real.


I kill all my monsters.
Fvckers....
They know better..
 
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