tactically what would you do?

[pikachu69]

i'm trying to piece together my dates this year to see where i need to improve on and how to deal with certain situations if they arise in future.

the girl i was seeing a few months back, we had a great first date, the second and third dates were pretty good as well but no sex yet. i made the mistake of trying to squeeze in as many dates as possible as i knew the week after she had a friend coming over to stay for a week so wouldnt have time to see me, then the week after she'd be free, then the next 2 weeks would have more friends coming to visit one of which was in love with her.

the rule is 1 date per week max, so that she can miss you in between, i was so focused on trying to sleep with her asap i just went with the flow cos her IL was high and wanted to meet up with me.

we left things on date 3 on a relatively good note. fast forward to 3 weeks later and the guy who was in love with her seemed to have won her over and she was into him even though he's abroad now and out of the picture, but the feelings he made her feel still lingered.

i got jealous and insecure and threatened and didn't behave how i normally should, but then again she told me she had no interest in him prior to his visit. how should i have acted?

everytime she brought him up it annoyed me, i even said to her to stop talking about him cos im not interested.

basically i was being compared to him and i lost. i just didn't anticipate this scenario and was still living in the past from our good first date.

 

[st_99]

you're probably not thinking of yourself as the prize. get that in your head and everything will be fine.

 

[Aaron B]

i was sort of in that situation with my first wife when we met

except she was chasing me more than i was chasing her

she kept bringing up some other dude and i just told her to go ahead and be with him if that's what she wanted to do, but that i wouldn't be waiting around

put up or shut up b1tch

 

[pikachu69]

you're probably not thinking of yourself as the prize. get that in your head and everything will be fine.

i think it's difficult for me to have the prize mentality if im short on options and i've struggled to get dates this year.

i know a woman or having women shouldn't define me as a man, but it's very very difficult to maintain a certain mindset when you know you may go a few months without getting this close again to sex.

i guess i have to reprogramme my brain.

what i mean is, how should i have acted specifically? like should i have just told her as i did not to talk about him but in a non jealous way.

i just feel like i didn't showcase my good side cos of the pressure of competition. like she wanted me to be better than him, but ultimately i was being compared.

 

[Aaron B]

i think it's difficult for me to have the prize mentality if im short on options and i've struggled to get dates this year.

the fact that you are getting dates and the fact that you have options should boost your confidence, not weaken it

its all in how you choose to look at things

also she set up a competition that benefited her, but was detrimental to you. You can set up the same competition amongst women that will compete for your time and attention.

none of this is you being a "victim of circumstance." Your choices make-up the design of what you experience in dating and relationships. You are manifesting the wrong situations and scenarios with your flawed thought process.

Men like to think of themselves as logical thinkers, then when it comes to dating and relationships, many of them throw logic and reason out the window by applying it incorrectly.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Men like to think of themselves as logical thinkers, then when it comes to dating and relationships, many of them throw logic and reason out the window by applying it incorrectly.

This is very true.