Symptom: She is on your mind 24/7

[thewickedm]

There you have it. You met a great girl, you went out a few times, and now you are officially in an exclusive relationship with her. But unlike fairy tales, you did not get a happily ever after.

So what happened?

Somewhere along the way, the relationship got too serious. You started to let your life revolve around her. When you text or im her and she doesn't respond promptly, your focus dissipates and you find yourself pining for her response. You find yourself constantly craving for her attention, and giving her all of yours. And because she didn't respond promptly, you develop the fear of loss when she finally responds, thinking that if you take too long to respond she will lose all interest in talking to you, or you would have to wait even longer to get a response from her.

Stop.

In order to maintain firmly rooted in life, you need to be able to walk away. "Why? If I walk away wouldn't the relationship end? I would lose the source of love in my life!" I can hear the cries of many whenever I suggest walking away from the girl. I do not advocate breaking up with every girl over every little thing that doesn't go your way. But we've gotta open our eyes and be honest - judge her based on her actions and behaviour. I'm sorry, but if a girl is consistently being disrespectful of you by not showing interest in talking to you, then you would be better off without her in your life. After all, your time and energy are better spent on your own life.

Respect is all. The willingness to walk away is part of respecting yourself. If you do not love yourself, don't cry like a wimp because the women won't love you.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Dear god I wish I had read this and really understood what it meant about 10 months ago.

To anyone who is currently in a relationship - ALWAYS be re-examining the balance of interest to make sure that both parties are equally invested. If you find yourself continually dissatisfied with her actions but you find yourself excusing things because of convenience or nostalgia, you are only doing yourself a MASSIVE disservice in the end.

 

[arutha]

One of the keys early on, IMO, is to make her want you more than you want her, it makes you so much more relaxed and even if you are thinking about her all the time, she is thinking about you all the time too and will often contact you first. Get her to make an investment, make her work for you. At the end of a date, say 'well, I planned this one. Next time you need to plan our date out and see if you can top mine!' you can even substitute 'next time' for something more specific like 'next weekend' or 'next wednesday' or whenever you want to see her again. Now she has a challenge and needs to invest some time and thought into you, she needs to try to impress you, and she has to contact you. Be prepared to be a bit underwhelmed though, some girls will get creative but a lot have never been in the position before and just won't come up with something that exciting.

 

[crashXCI]

I really needed to read this right now.

Thank you.

 

[Colossus]

But we've gotta open our eyes and be honest - judge her based on her actions and behaviour. I'm sorry, but if a girl is consistently being disrespectful of you by not showing interest in talking to you, then you would be better off without her in your life. After all, your time and energy are better spent on your own life.

Wise words and a wise post.