sweating on the 2nd date

[Scormus]

Hi guys,

I've lurked here for many years, and just wanted a bit of moral support in what is an uncertain time for me dating wise.

Background: I met a woman online 3 weeks ago who I really liked (HB 8.5 and a lot hotter than I normally can find), on the first date we agreed verbally that we'd meet again, and at the end of the date I kissed her on the lips (twice, the 2nd one for good measure). She didn't give me her cheek or get out of the way so I thought this was good and I was in. Was surprised and dismayed when she didn't want to go on a 2nd date subsequently and I chalked it up to her not being able to say no to my face and the kiss to her being polite .

Now the case in question: I traveled 3 hours out of my city to meet another woman I met online (I'd say her looks are a 7 out of 10) yesterday. She had driven up an hour to get to where we met so there was travel for her as well. During the date she started making plans for us, saying that next time, she could come to where I live and stay over and I could show her around (its a good tourist town). During the date she laughed a lot and I don't think I was saying anything particularly funny, which I thought was another good sign. At the end of the date, I went for the kiss, difference between this girl and the last was that she was kissing back. After a couple of kisses I initiated I was going to say goodbye, but she held me in place by my arm, and we kissed a couple of more times.

Obviously I am thinking I'm in. I went home and waited about 23-24 hours from when I said goodbye and then texted her to confirm if she could come up this coming weekend. No response and its been 9 hours now and nearing midnight. Before the date she had been responding fairly promptly. I am in my mid 30s and so is she if that helps our read of the situation.

After the background story (got the first kiss, but no 2nd date), I am sweating this one now.

Could it be I kiss that badly (I think I am at least decent and think that its an unlikely explanation), or maybe I am Plan B to her, or maybe she is just trying to play it cool?

Sorry guys I know the answer is to just wait it out and hopefully by tomorrow she has responded but I need to vent to someone.


Scormus

 

[SecondHalf]

Hey Scorm...

"Sweating on the second date".
As soon as I read the subject it was pretty clear what you need to do.
The reason that both of these chicks flaked, ... really doesn't matter.

What matters is that you you actually give a rats a55 what they think to the point you'll come out of lurking status and inquire to the masses.

First one: who knows, you said she was a hottie. Did you pay?

Second one: again, could be anything. I once got nexted because I didn't fook a pretty physician on the first date (bad after divorce, afc days). We were making out in her home and I didn't escalate. Got the "more like a brother" line the next day.

The second one, you should have pushed it as far as you could take it.

Bottom line, you're dating online which is will yield you the most flaky women on the planet (especially in your age group).

You need to be dating enough simultaneously that you hope one will drop you so you have some extra time. Once you get this way, then you will appear completely self absorbed and indifferent. Then everything changes.

I advise as I have lived it, but I am located in a large city where single women are plentiful.

Don't sweat it, date more, date all you can handle.

SH

 

[amoka]

Couple of observations and perhaps suggestions. You mentioned your town is a tourist town? Why are you wasting your time searching for women online? Worst yet, why are you looking for women who are 3+ hours away from you? My suggestion to you is to wait for her to return your message no need to bombard her with several messages. Also, VERY IMPORTANT, if she decides to come, let her rent a hotel. That means she should not stay with you. You can tour her around, and visit her at her hotel room.

 

[Scormus]

response

I sent just the one text and won't be sending more.

If she does come over of course she should stay at my place, easy to turn it sexual from there. Hotel for her is what an AFC would do.

 

[Scormus]

Heard back

2nd girl is back in touch, apologises for missing my call . I complimented her on her kissing and she responded with a smiley and x's. I'll let her do the waiting for now.

 

[MaddXMan]

You met her online and she drove an hour to meet you - that means you could have grabbed a hotel room and scored. Seriously.

The online thing is good for getting sex now and then but that's about it.