"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Survey
- Thread starter Gubby
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Anyway for the guys who were wondering why I made the survey,
I had the idea that people who have had to resort to seduction methods to relate to women may have been emotionally wounded / have had an abusive relationship with their parents. I personally had a horrible relationship with my father, who I still think is evil for beating me and taking out his anger on someone who couldn't fight back in that way. I had a lot of emotional scars which led me into dyfunctional relationships or solitude, and eventually drove me to seek answers in such places as this, and this stuff with my father was probably worst.
Oh interesting, this page on child beating http://www.nospank.net/n-f27.htm says that mothers were more likely to hit children than fathers, in a study. Hm.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
"People who have been harmed this way tend to see all relationships as negotiations, as deals to be won or lost."
I think this attitude has a lot to do with the trouble with both AFCs and unenlightened PUAs.
But your point about relationships as negotiations is very interesting,i'll check if it works for them too.
I think i keep some schemes from my family life too,i see most of girls as animals ready to bad reactions after some behaviours,just an other annoying thing to deal with,u know like "never run from a dog or he'll follow you".
Anything beyond that, do not.
I was chased by my grandma and my mom with a belt a few times. That's how I developed dexterity. Plus they weren't really malicious, it was just me laughing too hard that would fuel the fire
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.