surreal situation explain this to me?

[big weezy]

i go into my local starbucks for lunch today and i made eyes with this hot girl on her laptop who's studying, there were no tables free except by the window so i sat there 5 mins later the table next to her was free so i go over and take my laptop and mains adapter with me to plug it in, i dont look at her while this is happening. as i sit down she gets up and moves her stuff to another table that free'd up and plugs in her laptop there, i reach around to plug in the laptop and couldnt reach and when she came back to get the rest of her stuff she offered to plug it in for me, i said thanks but she gave me kind of a scowl.

anyway i took this as a rejection that she moved immediately, i finish what i was doing after an hour and went to the local bookstore, i came back to starbucks after to use my laptop again and there were no tables free AGAIN except either side of her, i avoided eye contact with her this time cos it was embarassing. i sti down, plug my laptop in, she gets up goes to the bathroom comes back packs up her stuff and leaves. 2nd rejection. i wasnt even going to talk to her, i dont even look at her. 25 mins later she comes back holding some food, yoghurt etc looks over to see where she was sitting before but that table is now taken and sits where i was sitting earlier in the day. i look over and she looks over, we almost make eye contact but i avoid looking, the guy next to me keeps checking her out. she looks over again couple times, i catch her looking.

anyway after 5 mins the guy next to me leaves so her old table is now free, she packs her stuff up and sits next to me, and i notice as she sits down she's looking at my computer screen to see what im looking at. im slightly turned away from her but i dont look at her. not giving her my attention.

wtf is going on? she's sitting next to me right now, i dont want to talk to her cos she quite clearly rejected me sitting next to her. im tempted, but i feel i shouldnt cos i pick up a lot in this starbucks and dont want to be embarassed. not worth getting rejected publicly esp when i need to come back here.

 

[CCFCmid]

Seriously pal you are totally misattributing these events.

I'm going to guess that you've suffered rejection badly before and are maybe oversensitive to it.

Lets look at two ways of attributing that first event.

A) I move to table next to her, she gets up and moves immediately

AFC Attribution - Oh God, she's moving because I am so repulsive, ugly, she cant be near me or even suffer the uncomfortable possibility that I may talk to her. I'm such a loser!.... I'll never get a girl..... i'm so low value.... blah blah blah

Overcompensating (some DJs) attribution - Damn that girl likes me so much she has to move away for fear of being unable to control herself and throw herself at me. Which of course would scupper her relationship that she's trying hard to maintain, I'm so awesome.

The truth? Probably has NOTHING to do with you. Even if it does who cares. But if you are struggling with rejection, the second way mentioned is a much better way of thinking than the first. Think about what your mental processes are doing to you. YOU can CHOOSE how to frame these situations and the one you are using at the moment really isn't helping you get to where you want to be!! So change those mental processes!

With the situation where she comes back and sits next to you... you are again overanalysing. This kind of behaviour would make me want to run a mile to be honest red flags flying high, but do whatever you want. Chat to her if you want or keep ignoring her. She shouldn't be this big a concern for you though either way.

 

[Iceberg]

I can't believe you're thinking this much about this. It's a human being in a coffee shop. She, like the rest of us, has 1000 things going on in her mind OTHER THAN, "Big weezy's adventures in Pick-Ups."

When she moved away from you, it wasn't a rejection. When she sat next to you, it wasn't a sign of interest. If you want to talk to her, then go for it.

But god damn, I hate when people on this site try to evaluate a woman's interest by reading imaginary signs that only exist inside your own head. It's weird. Every step this girl takes isn't about trying to throw some "f**k me" signs at a dude. She's trying to drink coffee, use free internet, and eat. If you want to turn it into a pickup, then go talk to her.

 

[big weezy]

my point is that her actions were so blatant.. like literally she got up and moved cos of me.. she didnt even look over to see other spaces were free she was happy doing what she was doing.. i know she got up cos of me, the 2nd time as well.. same thing.

maybe she just likes this seat here.. that's plausible.. but her looking over at me might be just her to see if the seat is free, when she sat down and looked at what i was looking at, again.. same thing.

this isnt an overanalysis.. this is exactly what happened. it was just fishy, that both times i sat down next to her immediately she gets up to leave.

then i ignore her dont look at her, she comes over and sits next to me and looks at what im looking at. i may chat to her for sake of it.. but this behaviour from her is very odd?

 

[Iceberg]

my point is that her actions were so blatant.. like literally she got up and moved cos of me.. she didnt even look over to see other spaces were free she was happy doing what she was doing.. i know she got up cos of me, the 2nd time as well.. same thing.

maybe she just likes this seat here.. that's plausible.. but her looking over at me might be just her to see if the seat is free, when she sat down and looked at what i was looking at, again.. same thing.

this isnt an overanalysis.. this is exactly what happened. it was just fishy, that both times i sat down next to her immediately she gets up to leave.

then i ignore her dont look at her, she comes over and sits next to me and looks at what im looking at. i may chat to her for sake of it.. but this behaviour from her is very odd?

I think your behavior is odd. But, I always have. So maybe it's just me.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If she's really that hot please tell her to PM me.

 

[big weezy]

i should mention the tables are right next to each other side by side, which makes it a bit more obvious.

yes she is quite hot, every guy in here keeps checking her out.

 

[CCFCmid]

my point is that her actions were so blatant.. like literally she got up and moved cos of me.

like literally she got up and moved - fact
cos of me - your interpretation

you are in denial mate... overanalysing everything. She probably didn't even give you a second thought. Doing this overthinking will not end well for you, but you seem set on goingdown that road so good luck to you pal

 

[cablecow15]

Personally , if that happend to me and I saw it as you did , id laugh it off ,
I mean if this chick is really so fickle , as to she would take her crap and move just to get away from someone , who might not give two craps about talking to her , Its comical how higley some women see themselfs.

seeing as she gave your a scowl when she plugged in your cord , id say shes pmsing and tired of being hit on while she works , could even be in a relationship , i wouldn't talk to her , no matter whats the reason if she definatly moved because of you she would no longer be worth my time

also you moved because of her - fact

she could have easily moved because of another guy she wanted , and saw your movement as a good opportunity to move