"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Surges of confidence

green69

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I'm sure all of you have had these before. Maybe some positive event happens in your life which makes you feel very upbeat, confident, friendly - almost like an adrenaline rush. This usually lasts for around half an hour to an hour or so (from my experience) then you fade off into normalcy.

I remember instances where, perhaps, you see a really hot girl but you are too nervous to approach her. But, you build up the nerve and go for it. It all works out great - it's good that you tried. You feel that rush of excitement, you feel you can do anything. At that point you are so confident, you could talk to any girl and strike up a good conversation. People subconsciously react to your confident posture by being extremely friendly, moreso than usual - essentially it rubs off on people. Self ful-filling prophecy.

A few weeks ago I had a similar adrenaline rush, while I was at work. But, I don't know exactly why. I don't remember any defining moment, or event that caused this surge of confidence. I remember feeling like I didn't care about what anyone thought about me, because I was feeling that happy and secure. It even carried over into my work. I was speaking in a very confident and bold manner, my self-assurance was radiant to everyone. Co-workers, customers, managers all react in a more positive way than previously. Everything is great - you hope this state of mind will continue to last.

Then it ends...and you don't know why. Why did it start in the first place?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Cruise

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That little white residue on the tip of your nose may serve as evidence... ;) j/p

Tony Robbins goes into DEEP detail about this. It's called State. And it's actually something you can get into at anytime really... all it takes is concentration, desire, imagination, and a true willingness to get into that state...

By saying that you HOPE it continues to last, what you're really transmitting to your mind is, "I'm AFRAID this is going to end." Any miniscule volume of fear or worry serves to fulfill the prophecy you just told yourself. You're operating from a lack consciousness, believing that you don't have an infinite reserve of this 'state'. But you do. It's up to you to submit to that. If you notice, before ever coming out of that 'state', you begin having those thoughts of subconsciously wondering when it's going to finish. Practice, practice, practice... it's like training... you won't ALWAYS be at 100% state, but the more you train in living into this state, the higher the level will be on average. All choice!
 

The Kidd

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you can't bottle confidence. confidence is like a muscle. you only build it when you train and practice, and you get fat when you stop
 
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