"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Summer Camp Approaches

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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Ok I have no idea how to make friends and I know you'll answer this with something simple that I could have thought of, but I really am clueless right now and can't find my answer on my own.

I did search for this and came up with boot camp threads so...
I'm going to summer camp for 2 weeks with a whole bunch of people I don't know and don't know me, so it'll be easy like a fresh start.

>I haven't been to a place like this and actually WANTED to make friends/approach girls, so I don't know the first thing.<

I'll probably end up finding my own way by myself while there, but for now I'm looking for tips on how to act approaching girls at a camp.

Now I'm sure it's just like any other place, but I want to make some improvement this time and become a rAFC instead of a total AFC.

Thing is, I'm confident in what I'm doing but I don't know what to do, so this thread is like an "I'm not sure how to do this" post.

Criticism/comments will be much appreciated :)
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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mpimpin

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I envy you! Summer camps are great. I went to a couple pre college program camps. Tons of fun!! Im gonna focus on it as a whole and not just looking for girls which you should too!

1. Participate in the activities! Especially at first. Later once you have some new friends if you wanna skip together and hang out thats fine.

2. Meal times are Great times to approach guys and girls. It's especially awkward at first when you are standing looking wondering where to sit, but just sit down and introduce yourself.

3. Remember others will be in the same situation as you. Use your common bond of not knowing one another to meet each other.

4. Make guy friends as well. Don't get to hung up on girls. I spent one summer camp chasing girls and it was fun, but afterwards we all lost touch and split up all over the country. Long Distance Relationships fizzle things out. The second time I went I hung out with the boys and made two very good life long friends who I remain in contact with. The girls that summer also fell into place even though I wasn't focusing on them.

Hope you find this information handy! Have Fun!!
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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lol thank you, I'm not going for a week but I'm mostly looking to improve my social/people skills and confidence.

I haven't actually made friends since 7th grade, and I lost all of the ones I made back then haha.

now here's one of my AFC problems:
I always THINK before I say things... and if I can't think of anything, I say NOTHING.

I don't really have a natural speech pattern, so it's even harder... lol like idk how to explain it... it's like I can't think of the right things to say, and I don't know how to just say things without thinking, however I am ready to be working on this at camp.

I guess it's better to be less sexual if I'm just looking for friends but..
There is one part of camp that I'll need more help with. I heard there's a dance at the end of the week and I might wanna try and get a date for it ;)
That'll be the time when I should try out my untried abilities, but it'll be a challenge to listen to those balls and find a girl :p
 

mpimpin

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I had two dances one at the end of each week (the programs were 2 weeks long a piece) Don't worry about getting a date. I highly doubt that it will be that type of atmosphere. Build up some Rapport though throughout the week! That way when you show up at the dance you'll have some connections with the ladies and will feel more comfortable.

As to your problem don't think so much about it. I know that will be hard because this is a highly nervous situation. Stick to talking about things you know or can relate to. If the conversation isn't about something you know its ok to listen and learn. A tip is to ask questions. It'll make it seem like your interested and it will make the other person feel good. As long as they aren't really stupid off topic questions of course.
 

Touchout

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I feel like your a smart guy, maybe too smart for your own good.

I always THINK before I say things... and if I can't think of anything, I say NOTHING.

I don't really have a natural speech pattern, so it's even harder... lol like idk how to explain it... it's like I can't think of the right things to say, and I don't know how to just say things without thinking, however I am ready to be working on this at camp.

JUST SAY "Hi"


I know you hear this a thousand times a day on here, but that's because it actually works. All it takes to start a conversation is a "Hey watsup, Im (your name)"

Talk to everyone, guys and girls, it's really not that hard to make new friends when nobody knows each other, everyone is grasping at whatever friends they can get, but if you wait too long, the social circles will be set and you will be left out.




Do yourself a favor and stop thinking so much and act, I'm sure you will have fun and make some new friends.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Distant Light

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Grand Wizzard Alamar said:
but for now I'm looking for tips on how to act approaching girls at a camp.
If you're already in this mindset then your setting up yourself for failure.

Be "Authentic", be your own person. Don't change yourself in order to try and cater to a person, or doing things just because you think you'll be accepted.

Just go have fun, talk to people, and don't have no outcome in mind.

Good luck
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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I'm still young and haven't really found my own person yet, but I guess what I want to do is talk in different ways so I can develop different personalities into one.. which is getting too complicated already :p

all right, I actually don't know how to meet new people, so I'll end up asking more questions and talking about 'boring things' than actually having fun with them.

the only pressure on me is I don't have time to develop during the week, I have to already be developed in the beginning, then go from there.

are there any tactics to help myself learn to just say things and seem interesting instead of being hesitant or empty-headed?
 

Supremo

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Summer camps are the best, no joke.

I just got back from one yesterday, and am leaving for 2 more (lacrosse camps) on the 21st.

The thing is, at camp, you have no rep... you are just another face in an ocean of people.

At Summer camps, the ones who are outgoing and fun end up becoming the ones who make friends with all the HB's. The ones who stay in the back end up envying all the outgoing people and wishing they would've been more "out there" from the start.

So be outgoing, be fun, be crazy. Don't worry about what people think about you.

One thing I MUST STRESS is not to show all your talents at the beginning. Keep amazing people over time, rather than all at once.

Say you can play piano and can also sing. During lunch one day bust out with some old school Beatles, then maybe a few days later wow people with some Mozart.

These are just a few general examples. But even if you make a fool out of your self and get some laughs. Laughs are laughs and eventually people will get to know you.

If you don't think you can handle putting yourself out there so much, find yourself a good friend there or someone you get a long well with... a wingman. It's usually easier to do things when in a group because you always egg each other on. One person will do something over the top, and then the other has to top it... and so on.

Obviously there's a limit to what you can/should do to get rep at your camp. Don't do something harmful to other people, don't get yourself kicked out of camp... that's simple.

Use your judgment. Break out of your comfort zone. Try new approaches. Meet new people. And just HAVE FUN. That's what Summer camps are all about.
 
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